Stalk the Canucks on Google Earth, which, as it happens, just got Keslurked

Here’s a screenshot of Google Earth’s street view, just outside of the Hotel Valencia on Santana Row in San Jose. It’s where the Canucks stay when they travel down the coast to play the San Jose Sharks. Say, who’s that on the corner? Is that Aaron Rome? Come to think of it, the gaggle of besuited men standing around that bench looks oddly familiar too.

Let’s zoom in.

Why, that’s Jannik Hansen (or Alex Edler?), Chris Higgins, Chris Tanev (I think), Mason Raymond, a Sedin (or maybe that’s Jannik Hansen?), Cory Schneider, and Manny Malhotra!

Edit: It’s not Chris Tanev, It’s Jeff Tambellini, of all people. Via Melaina, here’s a Jeff Vinnick shot from the Behind the Lens gallery that seems to line up. (You can actually spot Vinnick on the corner near Rome if you head down the street).

Ah, so it was neither Hansen nor Edler. It was Christian Ehrhoff. The presence of he and Tambellini (and the playoff beards) makes it easy to determine when these photos were taken. Amazing that this happened in May of 2011 and we’re just finding out about it now.

Seriously, Google Earth makes me nervous. Sure, it occasionally provides touching stories of lost boys finding their mothers, but most of the time it just captures people in an unfortunate state of undress. And the fact that I can creep on the Canucks coming out of their hotel room from my living room is terrifying.

So what’s going on here? Well, if you look to the right, you’ll notice a gigantic bus, so it’s a safe bet that the Google streetcam just happened to pass by when the team was gathering to head to the rink for practice or a game. That’s uncanny.

If they’re looking for Ryan Kesler, all they need to do is zoom out, then head on down around the corner, to the entrance of the Tommy Bahama store.

There he is. Even with his face blurred out in a fuzzy Google Earth shot, his alpha male swagger and Astro Boy hair is as clear as day.

Look at him, doing it all on his own, not even bothering to use his linemates.

But wait. Here’s a philosophical conundrum: What was the purpose of this shot? Because if it was to photograph the street and the entrance to the Tommy Bahama store and Ryan Kesler just happened to pop up in it, I’m pretty sure that makes this a Keslurk. As a matter of fact, as the self-appointed authority on what is and isn’t a Keslurk, I’m positive this is a Keslurk.

So let’s make it official.

Boom. Join the club, Google Earth. You just got got.

s/t to Hanna Baird-Harren.

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35 comments

  1. Lucky
    May 30, 2012

    This..is so weird. But kinda cool!
    How does one find this?! Is it from this past season?

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    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
    • Dani
      May 30, 2012

      It’s from May 20th, 2011. The first day the boys were in San Jose for the Western Conference Finals. Jeff Vinnick posted pictures on the Behind the Lens. Obviously with better focus that Google Earth!

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      Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  2. Fan#789
    May 30, 2012

    If you move to the other side of the bus, and on the other side of the street, you can see AV

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
    • JS Topher
      May 30, 2012

      It makes it even creepier that you can only see him from the “across the street” shot

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      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
      • JS Topher
        May 30, 2012

        Also, it looks like Bono is standing behind him… OR. Maybe Bobby Lu?

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        Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
      • ted simple
        May 30, 2012

        That’s where the complaints department was located.

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        Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  3. Tamara B
    May 30, 2012

    fantastic!!!

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    Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)
  4. LaLou
    May 30, 2012

    Check out the dudes standing under the Valencia arch on the sidewalk between the back of the bus and the American cab. Hilarity!

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  5. MB13
    May 30, 2012

    slow news day?

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    Rating: -16 (from 20 votes)
    • Gorge
      May 30, 2012

      it obviously had your attention…

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      Rating: +14 (from 16 votes)
    • RG
      May 30, 2012

      YA. IT IS.

      PROBABLY BECAUSE THE CANUCKS AREN’T PLAYING HOCKEY ANYMORE. IDIOT.

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      Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
      • MB13
        May 31, 2012

        Nice Napolean Dynamite impression.

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        Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)
  6. Britt
    May 30, 2012

    Just the sort of funny, weird, interesting and cool Canucks story that we need to hold us over until Gillis starts wheeling and dealing. Should we take bets on how long it takes Kes to comment on twitter?

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  7. SteveB
    May 30, 2012

    a ‘shop with a few more cameos:
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v390/skb/misc%20stuff/random_stuff/PITB/PITB_google_earth_canucks.png

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • SteveB
      May 31, 2012

      L-R additions: petulant Patrick Kane, PITB, barefoot Bobby Lu, snickering Coach AV, naked Kesler and Jan Bulis.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  8. Nee
    May 30, 2012

    How bizarre, and awesome.

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  9. Billywa
    May 30, 2012

    Even more amazing…several pics of several Canucks during the playoffs and not one them is in the midst of a dive…

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    Rating: -25 (from 29 votes)
    • Winsy
      May 30, 2012

      BOOOOOOOOO…. Diving is for LA now….

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      Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
  10. CanuckFanInSF
    May 30, 2012

    They stay in Hotel Valencia everytime they play SJ?

    Totes stalking them next time they visit.

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    Rating: +16 (from 16 votes)
  11. Shand
    May 30, 2012

    Did I mention I hate the offseason?

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  12. Anonymous
    May 30, 2012

    This is pretty awesome, you can see the BTL pictures at different angles

    http://www.fortnucks.com/post/24072595703/googled

    It’s all a matter of perspective, eh?

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  13. Sacmagique
    May 30, 2012

    This is really weird and creepy and yet, so cool. Im freaking out on this more than a normal human being should. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY.

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
    • Winsy
      May 30, 2012

      Wizardous Sedinerie if you ask me!

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      Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  14. Winsy
    May 30, 2012

    NO FREAKING WAY! That is TOO funny!! How do you guys find this stuff?? Love it! Thanks Harrison!

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  15. the real bob
    May 30, 2012

    According to Jory this was San Jose’s secret weapon

    Look how well that went for them

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  16. Winsy
    May 30, 2012

    I think that is most definitely Henrik between Manny and Jannik, and not Schneids. The Sedins have a slighter frame than Cory Schneider, and of the Sedins, that’s definitely Hank’s hairline. Daniel’s near the bus in a turquoise polo.

    Who’s coming around the corner with Kes behind Aaron Rome? I thought it was Burrows at first, but when you zoom in, you can tell it isn’t. I’m thinking it’s Hamhuis.

    Of course… I took the hard way and studied them on the Google maps… then I discovered the post on Fort Nucks… sheesh!

    I thought it was cool that my cat is on Google Maps Street View in my basement window, but this is way better. lol

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  17. cathylu
    May 31, 2012

    I’m pretty sure I was in SJ that day (I assume that was game 3) – if I knew what hotel they were in I would’ve been stalking them too!

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    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
    • CanuckFanInSF
      June 1, 2012

      Let’s stalk together. There’s power in numbers. :)

      No. I’m serious. I wouldn’t be as creeped out when I ask for their autograph.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  18. G. McRae
    May 31, 2012

    Did anybody look under the bus for Cody?

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    Rating: +18 (from 18 votes)
  19. Zandberg
    June 1, 2012

    ahahhaa
    G.McRae wins!!!

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  20. Tengeresz
    June 1, 2012

    I agree with Papa Sean: McRae gets the comment of the post award!

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  21. J21 (@Jyrki21)
    June 1, 2012

    Very curious why my post asking Winsy whether Google blurred his cat’s face (as they do for people) has been deleted??

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    • Harrison Mooney
      June 1, 2012

      No idea. Glitchy server?

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • Daniel Wagner
      June 1, 2012

      Your IP address is really close to a number of spammers that have been plaguing us recently. Your comment might have been swept up with some of theirs.

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  22. Max
    June 1, 2012

    It kinda scares me that some one found this… saw this on CDC too lol

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