Loango outlines a list of four zoos he’s willing to be traded to.
You’re looking at an infant, crown male Mangabey monkey that was born at the Jardin des Plantes’s zoo in Paris on March 5, 2012. The little guy is being bottle-fed because he was rejected by his mother at birth. Why is this on a Vancouver Canucks hockey blog?
The monkey’s name is Loango.
That is, of course, quite similar to the name Vancouver Canucks netminder Roberto Luongo. But I was struck by the similar circumstances in their lives beyond the one-vowel difference in their names. To wit: Both were rejected by the very people they trusted to embrace them: Loango his mother, Luongo the hometown fans.
Furthermore, this rejection came soon after entering into a lifetime contract. For Loango, it was the oft-unbreakable bond between a nurturing mother and her offspring. For Luongo, it was the CBA-skirting, 12-year deal.
Both had a really rough March 6th. Both thrive in tropical climates. Both are French.
Also, both Loango and Luongo have secret Twitter accounts.

And finally, both are the victims of successful development systems. Loango suffered the humiliation of being rejected after he was conceived and born as part of the European breeding of Endangered Species Program. Luongo suffered the humiliation of being rejected after losing his job to Cory Schnieder, whom the Canucks drafted.
And speaking of Schneider, both Loango and Luongo were rejected in favour of lovable, usurping redheads born after them. Introducing Schneidar, Loango’s younger, twin brother, whom his mother chose to keep:

Schneidar’s totally clutch.
Edit: Roberto Luongo likes this post, apparently.
“@passittobulis: Meet Loango, the most appropriately-named monkey in Paris #Canucks vansunsportsblogs.com/2012/05/10/mee…” That is one good looking monkey!!!
—Strombone (@strombone1) May 11, 2012
Weird.
s/t @BeantownCanuck.
Tags: bad analogies, loango is adorable, Luongo, monkeys, schneider, shameless offseason content
LaLou
May 10, 2012This is ridiculous. I heartily approve.
Abby
May 10, 2012Oh, offseason.
Still, hilarious. I second the motion above and heartily approve.
Cody
May 10, 2012Ahhh off season posts. Hey surprised you guys didn’t comment on Strombone1′s tweet that included a young pic of bobby lou himself
Lucky
May 10, 2012hahaha love it. also love the fact that Lu (or whoever strombone1 is) read it and commented
Daniel
May 11, 2012Incredible. Still one of the most entertaining reads on the interwebs.
Tamara B
May 11, 2012Oh my, funny stuffs!
love the freckles, but still love Luango more
tamara c
May 11, 2012Wow, this is hurting
James Mirtle
May 11, 2012Your finest work Harry’s son.