Video: I Want a Girl Like Trevor Linden

Normally, when we feature videos on Pass it to Bulis, they are made by other people. Not this one. This is a PITB original. I should clarify: Harrison might want to avoid all association with this video, because it contains a very silly song and Harrison is a very serious person. Not me: I revel in silliness.

You see, when I’m not writing about hockey, I often write comic book-inspired songs under the name Hooray for Gooba about evil twins, dinosaur fighters in space, big-headed supervillains, and time travel shenanigans. This weekend, however, I wrote a different type of song. A love song. A Trevor Linden love song.

And now I want to share it with all of you.

I sincerely apologize for the poor audio and video quality as I used my old digital camera to capture this. I actually have a new camcorder being shipped right now, which will be used on any future PITB video projects.

As for the song itself, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s pretty hard not to have a man-crush on Trevor Linden. Or a woman-crush for that matter. He’s pretty great.

Lyrics!

I Want a Girl Like Trevor Linden

[Chorus]
I want a girl like Trevor Linden
Who’s well-respected and good looking
Choosing her will be an easy decision
I want a girl like Trevor Linden
I want a girl like Trevor Linden

Been looking for her since ’94
I didn’t want to mess around no more
She’ll come through in the clutch every single time
She’ll always be on my top line

[Chorus]

She’ll be flexible enough to play any position
Great in the room, won’t cause any friction
I’m not Mike Keenan so we’ll never part
She’ll be the Captain of my heart

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
She’ll love me
You know she’ll love me
She’ll love me on crutches
And she’ll love me on Tuesday night

Electric Kazoo Solo!

[Chorus 2]
I’ve got a girl like Trevor Linden
Except for the fact she’s American
And also, she’s not a dude
I guess that was important too!

I’ve got a girl like Trevor Linden
Who’s well-respected and good looking
Choosing her was an easy decision
I’ve got a girl like Trevor Linden
I’ve got a girl like Trevor Linden

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29 comments

  1. tom selleck's moustache
    April 30, 2012

    No song is complete without a kazoo solo. Thanks, Daniel! Now I want a girl like Trevor Lindon as well!

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    Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
  2. Brent
    April 30, 2012

    “….and Harrison is a very serious person. ”

    Huh? Which universe are we talking about here?

    Good thing you added that last part about your wife, or, like the Canucks, it would have been a long, frustrating spring for you with extensive discussion about potential lineup changes.

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    Rating: +25 (from 25 votes)
    • Harrison Mooney
      April 30, 2012

      Dude. I’m super serious. My brow = constantly furrowed. FURROWED I SAY

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      Rating: +22 (from 22 votes)
      • biznow
        May 1, 2012

        You don’t get to be the Mayor of Awesometown without being super serious.

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        Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)
  3. SteveB
    April 30, 2012

    Ohh baby, shake what your mama gave you, Trevor!
    -Tom Larscheid

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  4. sarah
    April 30, 2012

    What would the female version of this video look like? Just a straight up love song to Trevor?

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
    • Brent
      April 30, 2012

      Maybe you should write one? Could be a competition, like “Canucks sing”.

      With no Canadian teams left in the playoffs it may get CBC some better ratings.

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      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
      • sarah
        April 30, 2012

        Can I leave that task to someone with singing/song-writing talents?

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        Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • Aderam
      April 30, 2012

      Or it could stay as is. I’m not a lesbian, but I’d probably date a girl like Trevor Linden. She’d be awesome. ;)

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      Rating: +15 (from 15 votes)
  5. Abby W.
    April 30, 2012

    Heading a post with a Trevor Linden photo= automatic mega-like.

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  6. jim
    April 30, 2012

    FMK – Linden, Bure, and Mclean.

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  7. TheWellwoods
    April 30, 2012

    Outstanding single. When does the album drop??

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  8. Rangers
    April 30, 2012

    Didn’t Mike Keenan lead the Rangers to playoff victory in 94? Fun song! But confused with the Linden/Keenan/1994 ref.

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    • Laplander
      April 30, 2012

      Keenan was coach/GM of the Canucks in 97/98 and traded Linden

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      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  9. mark
    April 30, 2012

    this is great

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  10. Shand
    April 30, 2012

    I want a girl like Paulina Gretzky *drool*

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    Rating: -2 (from 6 votes)
    • tom selleck's moustache
      April 30, 2012

      Yeah, that’s a good point, actually.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • Marcus
      May 4, 2012

      I want a girl like Paulina Gretzky
      Who shows a lot of cleavage and is really slutty.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  11. Gadsby
    April 30, 2012

    ” Harrison is a very serious person.” As you would expect from the mayor of awesometown

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  12. Dan D
    April 30, 2012

    First: Awesome song! I love it!

    Second: I had a Canucks allegory dream last night that I just had to share. I was in a band and I was the “LuBongo” player. Seriously, the LuBongos! And I had this love hate relationship with the band’s fans, because they really liked this redheaded Djembe player. It was weird, both because of the premise, and because THE DREAM WAS AN ALLEGORY!

    Not related, I know. But I had to share it with you guys.

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
    • Daniel Wagner
      April 30, 2012

      I think the off-season might be good for you…

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      Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
      • DanD
        May 1, 2012

        Haha agreed!

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  13. Gary
    April 30, 2012

    He played like a girl unless Quinn took his doll away. Then he got mad and played.

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    Rating: -11 (from 11 votes)
  14. Sheryl
    April 30, 2012

    The world needs more Trevor Linden love songs.

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  15. D S
    May 1, 2012

    Trevor Linden was a third line journeyman. If he were a chick he would be Kathy Griffin.

    http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh295/BlueIceAtMidnite/kathy-griffin.jpg

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  16. madwag
    May 1, 2012

    delightful, danielson!

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  17. biznow
    May 1, 2012

    Well done Wagner. I also enjoyed Axe Cop and My Evil Twin (admittedly the only other two I’ve listened to so far, but you’re batting 1.000 already).

    Is that you rocking the Duncan Keith-esque flow on the youtube video for Axe Cop!?

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • Daniel Wagner
      May 1, 2012

      Ha, it most definitely is. I used to have really long hair.

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  18. cathylu
    May 2, 2012

    I’m impressed Daniel – you have mad music skills! (Especially the kazoo!)

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