If you follow this blog with any regularity, you know about the Wellwoods, PITB’s official women’s road hockey team. Back in February, we helped them to find two sponsors to pay for a jersey upgrade — BC Diabetes, an organization dedicated to providing no-cost treatment to diabetics, and Ken Johnson, a nice young man and cat owner just looking for his soulmate.
But soliciting for money to buy clothes isn’t all the Wellwoods do. They also play street hockey, and back in October, they headed to Victoria for the 3rd annual HNIC Play On! street hockey national championships. The ladies have been involved in the tournament since its inception three years ago, finishing 4th in year one and 2nd in year two. Like the Canucks, they came into 2011 hoping to get back to the finals and achieve a better result. Could they do it?
No. They finished 4th. (We’re still proud of them, though.) However, they did take a step forward this year in terms of documenting the experience. Last year, Captain Morgan Tierney journaled the tournament for us. This year, the Wellwoods made a video. This is that video.
The cake the Wellwoods are eating on the ferry looks disgusting, and the moment you find out the frosting is made of melted chocolate chips and yogurt, it’s pretty much a given that it’s disgusting. But I followed up just to be sure. According to Morgan, it was also gluten-free, and yes, it was every bit as bad as it sounds.
The scene of the ladies working out the knot in Laura Kosakoski’s thigh made me uncomfortable. I was home-schooled.
On the street hockey-meets-water polo game versus Lambton Shores: “If you’ve ever tried to punch a shark underwater, that’s what it’s like.” We’ve all been there, am I right? That metaphor made it instantly relatable.
Morgan’s kick save at 5:16 is pure poetry.
Let that crafty, orthotic insole-stealing seagull be a lesson to you, ladies. Seagulls are always trouble. True story: once, when I was 13, I went to the beach for a picnic with my girlfriend and her Mom, and a seagull stole my ham sandwich. Reflexively, I picked up a small rock and threw it at the fleeing bird in an attempt to knock the sandwich out of its mouth. It hit the seagull right in the neck instead. The bird fell from the sky and twitched in front of us for about 5 minutes until my girlfriend’s mom had to go kill it. Horrified, my girlfriend cried the rest of the afternoon and then broke up with me on the drive home. It was the worst date ever.
Is it sexist to say that, after the abundance of shrieking and giggling in the video’s first half, the cameo from boyfriend/cameraman Mike Seifert really helped to settle this thing down?
The pregame speech delivered before the semifinal game by Kristie Sykes is inspired. “Theres no fun. There’s no f***ing — just win. Whatever it takes. I don’t want to see any laughing. No smiling.” Pure nonsense. I loved it. That could be Roberto Luongo’s new Seawall pump-up speech.
Fact: The Victoria Extreme are the worst people in the world, as you’d expect from anyone that plays for a team named after an adjective.
“The Wellwoods went on to have a very good Saturday night. Most of them missed the ferry the next morning.”
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