The super-convincing story of how Brittany Carnegie punked everyone

You might remember Brittany Carnegie from such breaking, front-page stories as that time she tweeted a picture of the vandalism at boyfriend Milan Lucic’s church, or that other time she dominated the news cycle for calling Cory Schneider’s girlfriend a trucker. The latter incident was quite the foofaraw, if you’ll recall. According to Carnegie, she wore a Bruins hat to a game, Schneider’s girlfriend gave her the finger for it, and then she captured the hearts and imaginations of the entire hockey world by tweeting the tale of this whole sordid affair.

Considering the universe had yet to right the egregious wrongs Carnegie suffered on that fateful night, you knew she might have something to say about Schneider getting beaten on Jarrett Stoll’s overtime winner that eliminated Vancouver from the playoffs Sunday night.

Indeed she did. Within moments of the Canucks’ postseason coming to an abrupt end, Carnegie tweeted the following:

Now, there are two things to surmise from this tweet: first, considering the context and the timing of it, it’s pretty clear what she’s getting at. Second, between all this talk of truckers and karma (and her documented affinity for going out in bare feet), I’m beginning to wonder if Ms. Carnegie watches a bit too much “My Name is Earl”.

Unsurprisingly, she began to catch a little flak from the rage monkeys — Canuck fans were a little testy last night for some reason.

(See, I don’t mean bad karma for the Canucks because they lost. I mean good karma for me because they lost!)

For whatever reason, this didn’t quite pacify “certain people”.

Lucky for Carnegie, three hours later she clarified that she wasn’t even referring to the game at all. Game? What game? What’s hockey? You see, according to Carnegie, who totally wasn’t back-pedaling at all, that tweet had nothing to do with the Canucks (or “My Name is Earl”). Rather, it was actually about this necklace (which is definitely not from a Google Image search).

Brittany 1, haters 0. Next time don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions on your jump to conclusions mat.

And that’s the super-convincing story of how Brittany Carnegie punked everyone.

Bonus material!

Speaking of exceedingly lame revenge tweets in the wake of the Canucks’ ouster, I enjoyed this one by Mike Dunsmore, the victim of Kevin Bieksa’s so-good-anyone-could-have-fallen-for-it Ryan Kesler impersonation:

In a related story, Dunsmore seems a bit testy for a guy that was in on the joke.

Unfortunately for Dunsmore, unbeknownst to him, the King he invited was actually Jeff Carter.

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23 comments

  1. zach
    April 23, 2012

    ahh, good old Mikey. Making fun of Vancouver for not being “as good” as Toronto. Funny he takes a shot at the Canucks playing golf today, but fails to offer that the Maple Leafs have been playing golf for almost a month now. Surely, Mike and his Leafs are pretty decent golfers, they get about 6 months of practice every year. I also have no respect for fans who will cheer for any team that is playing the Canucks no matter who they are. The Doughty shot is ridiculous, and just proves that he is not even a true Maple Leafs fan. Sigh.

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  2. Tamara B
    April 23, 2012

    I can’t wait to see twitter light up with KARMA when the Bruins are eliminated.

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  3. Josh
    April 23, 2012

    I try not to take delight in the misfortune of others. It’s just petty.

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    • J21 (@Jyrki21)
      April 24, 2012

      I made an exception for Duncan Keith and the Blackhawks last night.

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      • tCL of OTP
        April 24, 2012

        Yes, from this point forward, I will revel in schadenfruede, CalPuck-style…

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        • J21 (@Jyrki21)
          April 24, 2012

          Indeed. Go Washington!

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  4. Timmy Wong
    April 23, 2012

    Given her impressive spelling abilities (see: Corey Snyder), I’m surprised Carnegie spelled it “karma” and not “carmuh”

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  5. Locode
    April 23, 2012

    Dunsmore is a joke. Definitely a face made for radio, and there’s no way he was in on the Bieksa/Kesler joke. He’s not that smart.

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  6. Lucky
    April 23, 2012

    I will never understand why fans of other teams not even in the playoffs waste their time watching/talking about the canucks…they devote A LOT of energy to it, you can see it everywhere. And then there’s sore winners like Lucic’s gf.. GET OVER IT, and don’t resort to high school tactics where you’re clearly taking a shot at someone then acting like you’re really not…lame.

    I don’t go around hating on other teams or writing nasty things about them. Why can’t we all just get along and enjoy some hockey?!

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  7. Ryan
    April 23, 2012

    A+ for the jump to conclusions mat reference.

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  8. charlieyankee
    April 23, 2012

    Why does anybody really care what Snookie wannabe, Ms. Trashy McSlutty, has to say? Attention hounds (I cleaned that up) feed on attention. Though I vehemently disagree the political/policy use of this, in whatsherface’s case: STARVE THE BEAST!

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  9. Zach Morris
    April 23, 2012

    so, wait.
    are you a confirmed follower of Brittany Carnegie? :D

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    • Abby
      April 23, 2012

      This I want to know. Harrison, your move…

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      • hockeyispretty
        April 24, 2012

        Shh. You guys want him blocked from the feed? This stuff is good! Keep it coming! I never thought I’d look forward to seeing a picture of Lucic with the cup, but when I see it here I know the post will be good.

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  10. The Bookie
    April 24, 2012

    Can we just bring this full circle and begin with the new Brittany nickname era of “The Guzzler”?

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  11. Chicky
    April 24, 2012

    Looks like Brit passed her first lesson of Hooked on Phonics! I stand by this

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  12. shoes
    April 25, 2012

    Tweets can showcase Twits……to easy to hit send. Brittany is like a trailer park version of Perris Hilton, who herself is parky.. Just another little puckbunny gobbling up her 15 minutes of fame.

    As far as the reporters dissing the Canucks…..how come they all seem to be from Leafs, Oilers or Flames. Do they not know how to access NHL.com/standings for the years starting in 1996 until present day? And as far as golfing jokes go….puleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee! hahahaha

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  13. tj
    April 25, 2012

    Poor Brittany.

    Since this seems to be the ‘petty’ thread, can I just say how much pleasure I’m taking that all of our ‘rivals’ went out in the first round. Thank you, Caps.

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  14. Jen
    April 25, 2012

    Brittany Carnegie, I believe THIS is what you call karma. Bye, Bruins.

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  15. mac n cheese
    April 25, 2012

    I’m showing some restraint, because Vancouver fans are classy, Brittany.

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  16. obituary mambo
    April 26, 2012

    Brittany and her trashy idiocy notwithstanding, I’m even more glad the Bs lost after seeing the deluge of hatred their bandwagoners pumped out on twitter following Joel Ward’s game winner. I hit twitter expecting to see some single word tweets of the “karma” variety and was shocked and appalled at what I found in their place.

    **Pretty please note I’m not calling out all of Bs nation. I’m well aware of the fact that the vast majority of their fans are not represented by the vile behaviour of a handful of assholes. That said, there is no excuse for that type of behaviour — ever.

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    • sarah
      April 26, 2012

      I’m going to pretend that nothing racist was said and avoid Twitter in order to not be told otherwise.

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  17. the real bob
    April 23, 2012

    “wait, we’re covering the vancouver GIANTS right?”

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