Spitballin’ on Chris Tanev’s glove, the creepiest Sedin video ever, and Luongo’s future

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass ITBulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.

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Chris Tanev ruined a perfectly good glove for nothing

You may remember the Dustin Brown shorthanded goal from the dying seconds in the first period of Game 2 (unless, like Jim Hughson, you never saw it). You’ll recall that, amidst the scramble, Chris Tanev made a valiant, albeit ill-fated, attempt to spell Roberto Luongo and snatch the shot out of the air.

He nearly got it, too. In fact, he would have if his glove were built to do what he was attempting to do with it. Were Tanev wearing a trapper, for instance, this puck stays out. But the palm of a normal hockey glove isn’t designed to absorb a puck traveling at velocity, which is why the puck left a massive hole in it. Check out this action shot (which I promise you has not been altered in any way):

That’s crazy.

One additional observation: If you go through hockey image databases, you’ll discover that, in nearly every shot, Tanev’s tongue is hanging out. I guess he couldn’t play with a cigarette in his mouth. It would fall out, because his mouth is always open.

This Sedin video is nightmare fuel

Like the crazed “Bieksa Real Good” and “Ryan Kesler’s exploding head” videos we shared earlier this week, this clip (via @twofiveandten) is actually from last year’s playoffs, but don’t worry: it doesn’t need to be current to achieve its goal of leaving you seriously unsettled.

In the video, animated versions of Daniel and Henrik Sedin speak in robo-voices about their love for the film Hanna, their frustration at not being cast to play the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network, and the Sedin Sedan, their vehicle of choice.

Among other things. I like when Henrik smugly points at his chest and says, “Henrik wears the C.”

But seriously, what the heck. Between the absurd dialogue and music that seems lifted from a horror film, this is the creepiest video you’ll see all day.

Bieksa tweet makes people mad

I had to laugh when I saw this Kevin Bieksa tweet from the day off prior to Game 4.

 

I also laughed at how mad it made a lot of people, who interpreted the tweet as a sign that Bieksa wasn’t taking the 0-3 hole seriously.

You’re right. How dare he use humour to cope with a difficult situation. And heck, what was he doing having a “good” day at all? He should be in the mind room, calling himself a bad baby and self-flagellating, am I right?

Chill, people.

Meet the newest Chicago Wolves

Here’s a video of Wolves’ netminder Eddie Lack introducing us to the newest members of his team: Canuck prospects Nicklas Jensen, Frankie Corrado, and Taylor Matson. It won’t blow your mind or anything (sadly, there are no references to the Sedin Sedan), but it’s worth a chuckle. I especially like when he asks Jensen whom he prefers, the Sedins or Jannik Hansen, and when Jensen goes with his countryman, Lack comes back with, “Even though he’s not a very good guy?”

The video is also informative, in that it teaches us what a shoe-check is and lets us in on Lack’s affinity for shorty shorts.

Is the Roberto Luongo era over in Vancouver?

With the announcement that Cory Schneider would be starting his second consecutive playoff game Wednesday, the media went into overdrive with what it meant for Roberto Luongo, namely, that he was done in this city. It was the end of an era. So long, Roberto. We got you a fruit basket and a gift card to Sizzler.

Slow down. The decision definitely adds a wrinkle to the goaltending saga, as it shows that Luongo has, for the time being, become the number two guy. But it doesn’t mean he’s out. A lot can change between now and next offseason. Schneider could help the Canucks miraculously battle their way back in the series versus the Kings and fatigue in the second round, giving way to Luongo again. Or the two could alternate the rest of the way.

The Canucks could still move Schneider anwyay; Jaro Halak got traded after the 2010 playoffs. With Schneider’s value even more inflated from a strong playoffs, Mike Gillis could be offered a package he likes.

Schneider could play hardball in RFA negotiations next summer or even get offer sheeted in the brief window between July 1 and July 5. Roberto Luongo could refuse to go quietly, since he has the no-trade clause. There could be no takers for his big contract. The Canucks could still keep both.

Undoubtedly, Schneider getting two big-game starts is a meaningful development. But it may not mean what everyone thinks it means.

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54 comments

  1. Zach Morris
    April 19, 2012

    I wouldn’t be sad to see Luongo get a fresh start.
    As Chris Lund said on Backhand Shelf, “[Luongo is] arguably the best post-lockout goaltender and the franchise leader in wins, but the fans, and to some extent his teammates, don’t trust him.”

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    Rating: +17 (from 19 votes)
    • Abby
      April 19, 2012

      I wouldn’t be sad either (at least not for him). But I would feel very disappointed that he’d be so cheered as he left. The way that so many Canucks fans have treated him is shameful. So I guess I’d feel bittersweet losing him. Excited for him, excited for Schneider, but disappointed in the circumstances, the never ending goalie controversy, and the ungratefulness of fans towards the guy who took us to a cup Final and played fabulous for us over the course of 6+ years.

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      • peanutflower
        April 20, 2012

        The thing is, given what Schneider has been exposed to here for the past whaever years, why would he stay here? I’m sure if he got a nice deal back east somewhere he’d be running away from this whacko place

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        • iceman
          April 20, 2012

          My thoughts exactly.

          Which goalie in their right mind wants play for a city where ultra-fickle fanbase and narcissistic media dissect each and every goal allowed and pin 99% of them on the goalie? Which goalie in their right mind wants play for a city where your team loses because of you and your team wins in spite of you?

          I’m sure there are better choice out there for Cory…. Not that I want to see him go.

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          • Laplander
            April 21, 2012

            I believe the problem is that, until recently, Canuck coaching has been stuck in a “#1 and back up” mentality. I think the fans are not “Anti-Lou” as much as they are “Pro-Schneider”. If we could keep both and use them like St.L does – hot goalie keeps playing – I bet the fan base would be behind both.

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        • obituary mambo
          April 22, 2012

          It seems to me that, organizationally at least, Vancouver must not be a bad place to play. Quite a few players seem to be willing to take less than they could get on the open market out of a desire to stay in Vancouver or sign on to play with the team. Also, keep in mind the number of players who say they want to stay in Vancouver once their playing days are over. I’m sure Schneider has personal aspirations, but he’s always maintained that he’d rather be part of a winning team than focus on personal stats or the amount of money he could be earning elsewhere (the anti-CoHo if you will). His chances of winning are much better in Vancouver than in some basement dwelling eastern conference team. Sure, it can be a fickle market, but there are pros and cons to nearly any situation.

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  2. sarah
    April 19, 2012

    My dad always gets so angry at the Too-cool-for-school-Bieksa-isms. I can’t wait to tell him about this Tweet to watch him freak out. Too bad that means having to explain Twitter to an old guy…

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  3. the real bob
    April 19, 2012

    Luongo on opening his gift basket:

    “Why is there a lightning uniform in here?”

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  4. Beantown Canuck
    April 19, 2012

    Harrison! Get your facts together. First of all, Lu does NOT have a no movement class, he has a no-trade clause. He can be sent down to the minors if need be (unlikely scenario I think but possible). Second of all, the window for another team offer-sheeting Cory is not between draft day and July 1 but between July 1 and July 5. Come on Mooney, come on!

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  5. hockeyispretty
    April 19, 2012

    I wouldn’t say for sure the goalies are in a #1/#2 situation. Looks more like a situation of having two acknowledged top goalies sharing the load, which won’t be tenable for the long term but can work beautifully for the playoffs. It’s sort of like how everyone despairs over AV’s line shuffling (i.e. the constant and unpredictable flow of players between lines even period-by-period during games). Might make for good hockey and a flexible team with lots of depth, but it’s awkward for writing articles and commentating. Just set your lines in stone and number them, AV!! And then announce publicly which of your amazingly talented goalies you don’t trust!!

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  6. Paul
    April 19, 2012

    Tanev holds his stick in his left hand, which, as inspecting most beer leaguer’s gloves will show, eventually wears hole in the palm. I would be surprised (and impressed) that a NHL player would wear a glove that worn out, but there’s a good chance the hole was there before he tried to make the save. Just sayin’.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      April 19, 2012

      Yeah. I thought about that. I’ve seen other photos of Tanev’s palms and the gloves haven’t looked like that. I’ll have to ask him about it.

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      • Mike
        April 19, 2012

        Is that a humblebrag, Harrison?

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        • Harrison Mooney
          April 19, 2012

          Ha. It wasn’t supposed to be.

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      • zach
        April 19, 2012

        I would be willing to bet that the hole in Tanev’s glove was due to his top hand being his left, therefore causing the hole in the palm. I have played hockey for nearly 2 decades, and every pair of gloves I have ever owned have worn out in identical fashion, and only on the top hand. Just my 2 cents.

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  7. Shand
    April 19, 2012

    That Sedin vid was around for last years finals. Way to be too busy to watch every video guys!

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  8. Hips
    April 19, 2012

    We dominate you in handball.

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    • Daniel Wagner
      April 19, 2012

      That was my favourite moment of that video.

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      • obituary mambo
        April 22, 2012

        I also loved that, as well as the cameraman and Lack questioning the authenticity of handball as a sport. Hee! I live in a place where handball is also regarded with esteem. I’ve even had students who were fairly seriously injured playing a game that I’d never even heard of before moving here. I suppose small European countries need their bragging rights too. ~__^

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  9. Brent
    April 19, 2012

    Part of the reason for going with Schneider is that LA was not all that familiar with him. Who knows what AV is thinking. Who knows what Gillis is thinking. I hope Luongo is thinking happy thoughts because he is a good goalie that gets a hard time here. Any links to comments from him after the game? Didn’t see any on Canucks TV.

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  10. peanutflower
    April 19, 2012

    God, please let us keep them both. Thanks.

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  11. Andre
    April 19, 2012

    Cory is not yet the Golden Boy: he’s played a few stinkers too.

    I’m fine with the Canucks keeping one or the other for next year. However, this is all a distraction from the task at hand, for which both goaltenders will be needed.

    Live in the present, folks, not in the Vancouver Sun.

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    Rating: +23 (from 25 votes)
    • Brent
      April 19, 2012

      I lost what was left of respect that I had for the Sun’s sports today. Obviously a big win last night, Canucks showed some mettle and staved off elimination. What is on the front page? We are trading Luongo. Can’t they wait until the off season when they have nothing to write about to go into all the permutations? Jerks!

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      Rating: +32 (from 32 votes)
      • Harrison Mooney
        April 19, 2012

        In defence of the Sun, they pay us, so we are legally obligated to defend them.

        ….

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        • Brent
          April 19, 2012

          They don’t pay you enough. And I don’t even know what you get paid.

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          • Harrison Mooney
            April 19, 2012

            I do, and I agree with you.

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        • peanutflower
          April 19, 2012

          “Legally”? Really? That’s a shame.

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          • Harrison Mooney
            April 19, 2012

            No, not really. We can say whatever we want. But, you know, biting the hand that feeds you and all that.

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            Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
            • tj
              April 20, 2012

              and, you know, to be fairer… they hired youse guys, and that shows some sense…

              it’s kind of like folks going onto the CBC site moaning about how they hate the CBC and it should be abolished blah blah. and where, pray tell, would those folks find their soapbox? it’d be funny, if it weren’t so infuriating.

              i show my displeasure for the Vancouver MSM by not buying their papers, or reading them in general.

              didn’t you, HM, say on twitter recently that if one hates a particular feed, one is free to unfollow?

              (I also, it seems, show my distaste for the Sun/Province by not using capitals when I ought. Rebel, me.)

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        • the real bob
          April 19, 2012

          at least you don’t work for the province because you’d technically be colleagues with tony gallagher…

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          • peanutflower
            April 20, 2012

            Don’t they all have the same owner?

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            • Frank
              April 20, 2012

              Ay, why be so practical peanut flower!?

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        • Chazz Ranger
          April 20, 2012

          Obligated to defended them, but didn’t actually really say anything in their defense. I see what you did there. Well played sir, on both sides of the fence ;)

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          • Brent
            April 20, 2012

            Ya I noticed that to. They are so clever, but underpaid.

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  12. Dub J
    April 19, 2012

    I think Luongo starts on Sunday. My guess is Lu starts all home games and Schneid starts all away games as long as we’re still alive.

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    • The Bookie
      April 19, 2012

      Headlines This Summer:

      “Schneider Signs New Contract; 25 to Life”

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  13. Jezz
    April 19, 2012

    Thanks, pass it to bulis! The Schneider vs. Luongo controversy has been assuaged with this reminder that Eddie Lack is dreamy and that we will soon be blessed with routine doses of his cheeky wit and impish Scandinavian grin.

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    • sarah
      April 19, 2012

      He is a cheeky little monkey

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  14. peanutflower
    April 19, 2012

    The shorts are creepy though.

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  15. Colby
    April 19, 2012

    All year I have thought that the whole goaltending controversy was media driven.. Then I am truly shocked to see that maybe they were right all a long. I think that these recent local news articles about Luongo being traded are really premature and distracting, but they certainly have the most substantial evidence that they have ever had. I honostly have no clue what is going to happen, but Gillis`s trading of Hodgson this year kind of makes me lean towards hes gunning to fix his `mistakes` IE trade Lungos contract.

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    • akidd
      April 19, 2012

      i’m kinda thinking along your lines too, colby. the scenrio i’ve been musing about ,with no proof whatsoever, is:

      gillis knew after last season that he either couldn’t trade lou or get any decent return for him. so he told us that he had 100% confidence in lou and would work with him to make him better. then he played him this year like a number one goalie, all the while evaluating whether schneider was ready for the number one job and most importantly taking that final year of 10 mil off lou’s contract.

      schneider was given a few important games and just enough workload so that the optics would still be that lou was number one. schneider, as we saw, hit the ball out of the park. and lou did very well too and showed some very nice wares from dec. to march. in fact he carried the team for long stretches and deserves a lot of credit for that president’s trophy. a lot.

      now lou’s contract is tradeable and the lou’s optics, to me, look much better than last year. if i were the leafs or any other bubble team that was a special goalie away from making the playoffs not only would i trade for lou i’d give up some substantial assets to get him.

      in the same way that i believe the coho trade was years in the making, all the way back to his back injury, i believe the likely upcoming lou trade goes back at least a year and maybe two. when gillis resigned lou it was at a time where he was working to make the canucks a destination that players wanted to come to. sundin was the start and if lou didn’t resign it would have been a huge blow. he signed lou right after he suffered his first serious serious chink in his armour, the first hawk blowout punctuated with the 7-goal game. the huge contract was lou’s price and gillis went all in. he had no choice. he hoped like us all that the blowout was just an anomoly.

      the following year he realized that it might not be an anomoly and that he might be in trouble. and that’s when the ‘trade lou contigency’ file was started. and then the bruins and gillis was sure. but there was still 10 mil left and lou’s stock was rock bottom.

      so lou’s stock is up and his contract has returned to reasonable. if lou’s a fighter then burke says goodbye to that first round pick that’s been burning a hole in his pocket. if not, then lou can enjoy himself in florida. i’m sure he’ll do great wherever he goes.

      i’m not saying that this was all a decided plan years ago. i’m saying that gillis left his options open and moved towards his desicion based on what unfolded. and he did dam well. really, really well. both with coho and lou.

      and i also feel that daniel and harrison understand this and also performed a great service to the canucks, team and fans, by doing their part to keep the fans from storming the arena walls(both for lu and coho,) all the time, “not biting the hand that feeds them.”

      now that’s just fun speculation of course. i hope it’s true though so i could feel really cool about gillis and d&w. and it would explain a lot to me about how such insightful ‘dudes’ could have these two glaring blindspots. and you can call me arthur if you like.

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  16. peanutflower
    April 19, 2012

    So what exactly is the “mistake”?

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  17. Colby
    April 19, 2012

    Id say the treatment of Hodgson by the entire organization would be classified as a mistake to most, hel be a great player some day but after that first year it was never going to be Vancouver.

    I think we can all agree that Luongo`s contract length is a huge part of the negative feeling towards him, and I`d think Gillis would want this one back to.

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    • Colby
      April 19, 2012

      Dont get me wrong I am a Luongo supporter, I just feel that the whole captaincy debacle and the details of his contract has handcuffed him from day one.

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      • akidd
        April 19, 2012

        i think that at the time of the captaincy appointment that lou held all the chips. that was gillis’ first overture to him. even after his first hawk blowout he still held enough chips to get that huge contract out of gillis. gillis had to sign lou. for the optics alone. he needed to instill the notion that vancouver was a destination of choice for players that could choose. resigning lou kept the groundswell going. not signing him would have been a disaster. lou basically had a gun to gillis’ head.

        it worked out though. concessions from key players and winning the hamhuis sweepstakes were some of the results of the groundswell that came with lou’s signing.

        meanwhile those sweetheart sedins could’ve played the same hardball as lou(not exactly as they hadn’t fully ‘broken out’ yet )but still they agreed to the shorter term contract for undermarket value.

        while i believe that gillis is a rational guy who doesn’t let grudges interfere with business i can’t help but think that he might feel a little satisfaction once lou is gone , because of the way lou bulldozed him when lou was king of the hill.

        gillis is one smart dude. i’m starting to appreciate just how smart.

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        • Peanutflower
          April 19, 2012

          Smart like fox

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  18. Jessica
    April 19, 2012

    Was just happy Schneider didn’t get hurt on that penalty shot…like he in relief against the Blackhawks last year.

    And coffee just came out my nose, I was laughing so hard at the Sedin video. Creepy? I think the end is kind of charming.

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    • notquickenough
      April 19, 2012

      Have you seen parts II and III? Trust me, it gets weird.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVaeGJZTFec
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waCPUXBjw-Q

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      • Abby
        April 20, 2012

        There’s two more?

        Man, these things are hilarious. Weird hilarious. But my question is- WHERE’S THE RED HAIR? I mean, come on. It’s an integral part of their psyche, the red hair.

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      • obituary mambo
        April 22, 2012

        There are two more of these?!? I couldn’t even make it all the way through the first. Allra krälande (that’s my best Internet translation of the Swedish for very creepy).

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  19. J
    April 19, 2012

    u obviously dont play hockey. hockey gloves rip from holding the stick not from pucks. there probably was a rip already there

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  20. John Andress
    April 20, 2012

    Anybody notice that Nicholas Jensen scored a hat trick in one of his first games for the Wolves? In Canucks fan logic that means that we can get rid of the Sedins and their huge contracts and, after all, what have they ever won for us?

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  21. westcaj
    April 20, 2012

    heheheh Daniel likes to be confined to small spaces and covered with hot sauce. The things you learn from spitballin!

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  22. cwhite
    April 20, 2012

    Anyone ever hear this bit about Luongo being bow-legged affecting his play in the sense that he has to drop to his stomach in order to stretch his pads across the ice? Interesting if it’s true. From nhl.com http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=628819:

    Luongo also is bowlegged and lacks the natural hip flexibility to use the wider butterfly that Schneider employs. In other words, Schneider can spread his legs so his pads go almost straight across in front of him, whereas Luongo has a narrower butterfly, with skates and pads in behind him as he drops. This makes it easier — and faster — for Schneider to push laterally across the ice from his knees. Luongo, meanwhile, is sometimes forced to fall forward so he can spread his pads across the ice as far as Schneider.

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