Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.
Chris Tanev ruined a perfectly good glove for nothing
You may remember the Dustin Brown shorthanded goal from the dying seconds in the first period of Game 2 (unless, like Jim Hughson, you never saw it). You’ll recall that, amidst the scramble, Chris Tanev made a valiant, albeit ill-fated, attempt to spell Roberto Luongo and snatch the shot out of the air.
He nearly got it, too. In fact, he would have if his glove were built to do what he was attempting to do with it. Were Tanev wearing a trapper, for instance, this puck stays out. But the palm of a normal hockey glove isn’t designed to absorb a puck traveling at velocity, which is why the puck left a massive hole in it. Check out this action shot (which I promise you has not been altered in any way):
One additional observation: If you go through hockey image databases, you’ll discover that, in nearly every shot, Tanev’s tongue is hanging out. I guess he couldn’t play with a cigarette in his mouth. It would fall out, because his mouth is always open.
This Sedin video is nightmare fuel
Like the crazed “Bieksa Real Good” and “Ryan Kesler’s exploding head” videos we shared earlier this week, this clip (via @twofiveandten) is actually from last year’s playoffs, but don’t worry: it doesn’t need to be current to achieve its goal of leaving you seriously unsettled.
In the video, animated versions of Daniel and Henrik Sedin speak in robo-voices about their love for the film Hanna, their frustration at not being cast to play the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network, and the Sedin Sedan, their vehicle of choice.
Among other things. I like when Henrik smugly points at his chest and says, “Henrik wears the C.”
But seriously, what the heck. Between the absurd dialogue and music that seems lifted from a horror film, this is the creepiest video you’ll see all day.
Bieksa tweet makes people mad
I had to laugh when I saw this Kevin Bieksa tweet from the day off prior to Game 4.
Good re-group day today for the boys! Lots of team bonding… Got these guys right where we want them!!
— Kevin Bieksa (@kbieksa3) April 17, 2012
I also laughed at how mad it made a lot of people, who interpreted the tweet as a sign that Bieksa wasn’t taking the 0-3 hole seriously.
You’re right. How dare he use humour to cope with a difficult situation. And heck, what was he doing having a “good” day at all? He should be in the mind room, calling himself a bad baby and self-flagellating, am I right?
Meet the newest Chicago Wolves
Here’s a video of Wolves’ netminder Eddie Lack introducing us to the newest members of his team: Canuck prospects Nicklas Jensen, Frankie Corrado, and Taylor Matson. It won’t blow your mind or anything (sadly, there are no references to the Sedin Sedan), but it’s worth a chuckle. I especially like when he asks Jensen whom he prefers, the Sedins or Jannik Hansen, and when Jensen goes with his countryman, Lack comes back with, “Even though he’s not a very good guy?”
The video is also informative, in that it teaches us what a shoe-check is and lets us in on Lack’s affinity for shorty shorts.
Is the Roberto Luongo era over in Vancouver?
With the announcement that Cory Schneider would be starting his second consecutive playoff game Wednesday, the media went into overdrive with what it meant for Roberto Luongo, namely, that he was done in this city. It was the end of an era. So long, Roberto. We got you a fruit basket and a gift card to Sizzler.
Slow down. The decision definitely adds a wrinkle to the goaltending saga, as it shows that Luongo has, for the time being, become the number two guy. But it doesn’t mean he’s out. A lot can change between now and next offseason. Schneider could help the Canucks miraculously battle their way back in the series versus the Kings and fatigue in the second round, giving way to Luongo again. Or the two could alternate the rest of the way.
The Canucks could still move Schneider anwyay; Jaro Halak got traded after the 2010 playoffs. With Schneider’s value even more inflated from a strong playoffs, Mike Gillis could be offered a package he likes.
Schneider could play hardball in RFA negotiations next summer or even get offer sheeted in the brief window between July 1 and July 5. Roberto Luongo could refuse to go quietly, since he has the no-trade clause. There could be no takers for his big contract. The Canucks could still keep both.
Undoubtedly, Schneider getting two big-game starts is a meaningful development. But it may not mean what everyone thinks it means.Tags: Chris Tanev, creepy videos, Kevin Bieksa, Luongo, non-troversy, schneider, sedin sedan, spitballin, Twitter