Bieksa and Kesler fan videos are a crazed fever dream

With the Canucks down 3-0 in their first round series against the Los Angeles Kings, fans are looking for something to distract them from their favourite team’s playoff woes. Fortunately, these two fan videos for Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Kesler are plenty distracting.

Originally made back in May of 2011 for last year’s run to the Stanley Cup Final, they somehow escaped our notice. I have no idea how we missed them first time around, because they are completely insane and awesome.

Let’s start with Kevin Bieksa’s tribute video, which features Salt N Pepa, Care Bears, and more flashing lights than a banned Pokemon episode:

I think you will all agree with me that this needs to play on the scoreboard in Rogers Arena for every TV timeout and that “Bieksa real good!” should replace “Heart of a Canuck” as the team slogan.

I have no idea who the white guy in a green polo shirt and khaki slacks is, nor do I know why he is dancing against an all-black background. I do know, however, that the kaleidoscope of him with Bieksa’s face shooting out of it like it’s the end of Paranormal Activity is going to give me nightmares for weeks.

The video is essentially just a well-edited highlight reel of Bieksa’s finer moments from last season, with footage of Salt N Pepa and green-polo-shirt-dancing-dude spliced in. That much I understand. What causes me the most consternation is the brief cameo by the Care Bears at the 35 second mark. They appear with no explanation, then disappear a second later and are never seen again. What?

The makers of this video made a Ryan Kesler video a couple weeks earlier, that features less of the 80′s, but significantly more explosions and dancing animals:

Though lacking a signature catch phrase like “Bieksa real good!” I actually think this is the better video. While the focus is on Ryan Kesler, it features some great glamour shots of the city of Vancouver and takes a brief Luongo highlight break about 2 minutes in. Also, it features Ryan Kesler’s face being shot out of a bazooka. So it has that over the Bieksa video.

I also love how almost every mention of Ryan Kesler’s name is matched with a massive explosion straight out of Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions.

And then it turns into an MGMT music video. Weird.

In any case, both these videos are all kinds of awesome. Regrettably, these are the only two videos from Moon Unit 72 and Dagobah, which makes me sad. They showcase some quality editing skills and a quirky sense of humour, both of which are greatly appreciated in Canucks fan videos.

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12 comments

  1. Rosa
    April 17, 2012

    this blog is awesome! I’ve followed it for about a month and want to thank you for the collective sarcasm, satire, zombie references and campy commentary. Great change from TV commentators who make your brain melt by asking silly and obvious questions to players and coaches who won’t ever answer them.

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  2. Chicky
    April 17, 2012

    OMG, they can score! Look at that!

    These are awesome, even though I’m completely confused by the Care Bears Cameo.

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  3. Cody
    April 17, 2012

    Thanks a lot PITB. I am now even more depressed about our current series. Watching the highlights in those videos just reminded me how awesome this team can be, and how far we have to go to get back there. Someone please show this to the Canucks dressing room to remind all the players how awesome they are. Also please make a video for Alex Edler, pry his eyes open, and make him watch it for a 12 hour period before the next game. This will reignite his game especially the physical/passing side of it and create the EDLER!

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  4. swizzler
    April 17, 2012

    These videos are brought to you in part by Thomas Dolby.

    They blinded me with science.

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  5. TheWellwoods
    April 17, 2012

    I want to marry this.

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  6. LaLou
    April 17, 2012

    How are you not familiar with Double Dream Hands?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm7yAWpX1Mc

    The green polo shirt is actually from the sequel: Double Dream Feet.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • sarah
      April 17, 2012

      Double Dream hands literally pulled me through my most recent exam period

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  7. obituary mambo
    April 17, 2012

    I can’t decide it these videos are awesomely ridiculous or ridiculously awesome. Either way, they are positively bursting with win.

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  8. Brittany
    April 17, 2012

    The guy dancing in the green polo is John Jacobson, most famous for his Double Dream Hands dance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Nzxqh3DsQ&feature=player_embedded

    I only know this because he danced with Ellen DeGeneres’ staff to surprise her for her birthday…

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  9. bc
    April 17, 2012

    Somebody needs to show this in the dressing room tomorrow!

    BIEKSA REAL GOOD!

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  10. Cathylu
    April 17, 2012

    Even though I’m wallowing in the depths of despair right now those videos made me smile. Thank you.

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  11. natevk
    April 18, 2012

    My only question is: What the Hell?

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