Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.
Playoff AV volunteers no information whatsoever
Alain Vigneault has officially gone into his playoff cone of silence, wherein he offers absolutely no useful information. The annual metamorphosis is funny to me, but I primarily write nonsense. You can understand why columnists such as Tony Gallagher might find Playoff AV, the Sasha Fierce to his regular-season Beyonce, more than a little frustrating. Here’s what Gallagher tweeted after Daniel Sedin missed practice on Tuesday:
AV insists it’s not a setback for Daniel. Other than that bit of wisdom, he’s been a waste of time as usual at this time of year.
— Tony Gallagher (@tg_gman) April 10, 2012
He seems upset.
But you can understand why he might be. Playoff AV plays things absurdly close to the vest. I mean, heck, the Canucks coach is so given to misdirection and vagueness this time of year that, on Monday, he even claimed he’d never heard of Coldplay.
Colpdlay’s upcoming Rogers Arena tour date contributed to the quirks in the first-round schedule, something Vigneault was asked about. He pleaded ignorance. From Elliott Pap at the Vancouver Sun:
Vigneault, by the way, had never heard of multiple Grammy winner Coldplay, the British band led by Gwyneth Paltrow’s husband Chris Martin.
“I don’t even know the group,” Vigneault said (laughing). “I’m French.”
That’s ridiculous. The man practically lives at a stadium. He’s heard of Coldplay.
But hey, you have to understand: in the playoffs you just can’t show any weakness, especially a weakness for British alt-rock.
Another excellent pump-up video
Speaking of weakness, that’s what we have for Canucks’ pump-up videos, and Youtube was basically spammed with them this week. There are about 50 new ones. Here’s a standout from SamJam99:
Here come the grumps
Who’s looking forward to the second annual Canuck smear campaign from columnists? I know I am.
It’s already begun, too. I especially enjoyed the joint effort by Edmonton Sun writer Robert Tychkowski and Ottawa Sun columnist Bruce Garrioch, in which they weighed in on which Canadian team the nation should be pulling for.
Well, gee, I wonder what they said.
Again, that’s an Edmonton writer and an Ottawa writer, so you could probably have safely predicted the Senators to go 2-for-2, which they did. A little context would have strengthened the prediction too, such as a reminder of Tychkowsi saying last June that the thought of Kesler and Lapierre winning a cup made him throw up in his mouth (a claim he repeated here), or any knowledge of the frownyface Garrioch sports whenever he mentions Mike Gillis. (In the article, he calls the Canucks’ GM “Sourpuss former agent Mike Gillis.” Ah, namecalling. The sign of a true grown-up.)
Don’t get too outraged over about what the professionals do this year, especially since a) outrage over childish nonsense = easy hits, and b) we’re more than likely to witness a narrative shift if the Canucks do indeed go far.
Here’s a playoff prediction for you: a Cup run will lead to the Canucks eventually being praised for changing their ways and listening to the criticism from last year, despite the fact that it was slanted and relatively unfounded. If there’s one thing these guys love more than fair reporting (and for what it’s worth, there are clearly several things), it’s telling a good redemption story — especially one that affords them a moment of suspender-snapping, self-satisfaction.
Waste an hour watching the Canucks score 241 goals
And finally: In the summer, we’ll continue our annual tradition of breaking down all 241 regular-season goals the Canucks scored player by player, but if you can’t wait that long, Nic has compiled the entire 2011-12 season’s output into an hour-long video.Tags: garrioch hates gillis, playoff av is sasha fierce, pump-up videos, spitballin