Video: The Canucks give parenting advice to Mason Raymond, first-time father-to-be

After a suffering a gruesome back injury in game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final, Mason Raymond began skating again just this past October. But skating wasn’t the only strenuous activity he returned to in the early fall: around that same time, he also sired a firstborn.

The Raymonds are expecting their first child, a boy, in about a month, which means now is the time to be accruing as much knowledge as possible about their impending parenthood. With that in mind, the ever-helpful Derek Jory took to the Canucks’ locker room to elicit some advice for the first-time father-to-be.

“I don’t know if I want to take some of the parenting advice from some of these guys,” Raymond says.

Jory might have been wise to ask a few more Canucks with experience in the matter. The “Cory Schneider has no children” caption isn’t even necessary — it’s easy to intuit from his advice alone. ”Get a lot of sleep,” he suggests, which is a little like advising a pilot to stay on the ground. Not happening, bud.

Schneider later compares kids to hand grenades, admitting he’s afraid to “set them off”, which is why you don’t want him babysitting. He apparently handles children the same way he handles pucks behind the goal line.

Zack Kassian is similarly inexperienced, but he has the good sense to keep quiet on the matter. When asked if he has any advice, he offers a terse “No.” He would babysit if asked, however. “Anything for a teammate,” he says, knowing his place as a rookie. If the vets ask you to babysit their kids, you do it.

Meanwhile, experienced fathers Alex Burrows and Kevin Bieksa bring the funny. Burrows suggests they name the boy Raymond, and Bieksa suggests that Burrows and Raymond have had a weird, father-son relationship for about three years, so maybe Raymond has already learned something from that.

On the bright side, there is at least one piece of quality advice. Both Burrows and Bieksa suggest Raymond “pitch in” and “pull his weight.” Yessir, when you make a baby, it’s always a good idea to help to raise it.

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14 comments

  1. sarah
    March 24, 2012

    I’m hoping the Alex/Mason father/son relationship comment inspires a Chloe post…

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    • Immie_8
      March 24, 2012

      Yes! Please, please!

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    • Beantown Cauck
      March 24, 2012

      THIS^

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  2. Sire-Tracker
    March 24, 2012

    It is just me or does PITB always seem to point out exactly what other incidents occur nine months before Canuck’s children are born?

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
    • Hips
      March 24, 2012

      I was wondering about this when I heard that Mase was becoming a father. How the heck does a guy do the horizontal tango with a broken back?
      And then PITB cleared it up.
      Love you guys.

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      • Harrison Mooney
        March 24, 2012

        Yep, that’s what PITB is for: to explain how sex happens.

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        Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
    • Anonymous
      March 24, 2012

      But the fall doesn’t sound right…9 months earlier would be June/July wouldn’t it? I don’t get how this happened (do I even want to know?) Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Raymond were really happy about making it to the SCF?

      This is a creepy thought process.

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  3. Rituro
    March 24, 2012

    Was that… was that Comic Sans for the Cory Schneider key? Poor form, video creator.

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  4. Brent
    March 24, 2012

    too funny.

    My advice, so some spontaneous stuff right now. Just decide on the spur of the moment to (Insert some activity here-go for dinner, dessert, coffee, movie, whatever) then just get up put you coat on and GO. Cause that kind of a quick exit will not be happening for quite a while! By the time you have the car seat, stroller, play ben, emergency back up diapers, Tylenol, etc, etc, etc, you will probably be late for what ever you planned.

    One other thing, do stuff in the first few months when they are sleeping all the time. They are surprisingly transportable and other that excessive feeding, fairly low maintenance.

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  5. StevenK
    March 24, 2012

    I’m concerned. We’ve seen Mason toying with the dark side this season. If we’re following the Star Wars timeline, we’re 5 weeks away from full transition from Anakin-Raymond to full on Darth Mason.

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    Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
  6. Lenny
    March 24, 2012

    Kassian has got to react faster if he wants to fit in in this locker room lol!

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    • Brent
      March 25, 2012

      Well really, he was probably floored by the questions. I mean, which Canuck would be voted least likely to babysit your kids? Community man would be #1, Kassian would be the choice of last resort, and you would have to be REALLY, REALLY desperate. Kind of like Cindy asking Uncle Buck to take care of her kids.

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  7. shoes
    March 25, 2012

    I am thinking we now know why Raymond was so distracted this season. Because these guys play a mans game for a mans salary….we forget how young they really are.

    Bieksa and Burrows are just plain funny.. The rest of the league and Ron Maclean’s constant belittling of Burrows is so misplaced. The guy is way above average on the “good guy scale” and it just amazes me that a educated man such as Ron feels the need to belittle him at every op. I am not sure that I could refrain from twisting Rons nose if I ever bump into him on the concourse at a game. In fact I know I couldn’t resist….twist his nose and simultaneously pull him in close and lecture him on showing some respect and politeness towards Burrows.

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    Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)
  8. Warpstone
    March 26, 2012

    Damn. If the Mason=Anakin comparison were to hold, he would have to fathered twins right now…

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