Cory Schneider totally wants to steal Luongo’s job, but he’s too lame to say so

The Canucks’ goaltending situation is suddenly up in the air, with both netminders seemingly capable of taking the number one job (or just one, if you listen to Vancouver’s massive contingent of Luongo-haters).

But, if there’s one element where Cory Schneider’s got Roberto Luongo beat without question, it’s in media dealings. Schneider’s absurdly good at providing quotes that can’t be misinterpreted, meaning there’s nothing for the media to blow out of proportion — meaning there’s nothing over which PITB can call out the media for blowing out of proportion.

It’s no fun for anybody, really.

See, unlike Schneider, who gives the media clear, composed, unsexy quotes that can hardly be twisted to sell newspapers, Roberto Luongo’s all face-making, bendy statements and swagger. Seriously, so much swagger. Here’s a photo from Luongo’s last postgame presser:

"Yo yo yo."

(The only reason you didn’t hear about this is that everything Luongo said had to be bleeped.)

But Schneider’s so good at downplaying controversy that no one even batted an eye when he effectively said today that he hoped to take Roberto Luongo’s job. Like foreigners. From Jason Botchford:


He’s not wrong. After two months of solid play, Luongo has struggled in the home stretch, and all the familiar questions about Funny Bob’s ability to shut the door in the postseason have resurfaced. Regardless of the context (and who gives a crap about context when it comes to Luongo?), a quick perusal of the stats tells you that Schneider has been the more consistent goaltender this season.

As Schneider suggests, a strong outing Saturday could serve to remind Alain Vigneault of that point.

But don’t think Frecklesnoot’s sitting in a high-backed swivel chair petting a lap cat and plotting Luongo’s demise like Dr. Claw. Sadly, because this is Cory Schneider and not Roberto Luongo, he followed up the potentially incendiary quote by downplaying its juicy implications and throwing the focus back on the team.


Lame. Thanks for nothing, Cory.

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  1. Zach Morris
    March 17, 2012

    Cory Schneider: the REAL mayor of Awesometown.

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    • hockeyispretty
      March 17, 2012

      Can’t agree… Schneids rocks, but watching the CBC feed right now, Sportsnet announcers Shorty and the other guy with the cheese are the mayors of Awesometown. Or at least councillors.

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  2. akidd
    March 17, 2012

    “a quick perusal of the stats tells you that Schneider has been the more consistent goaltender this season.”

    just what are these mythical stats? let’s see.

    11/12: 15-6-3,.932, 2.09
    10/11:16-4-3,.929, 2.23

    that’s some pretty sweet numbers.

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  3. Kate Fullerton
    March 17, 2012

    Ok, Luongo now seriously needs a sweet rapper name :)

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  4. hockeyispretty
    March 17, 2012

    So that Botchford guy isn’t giving a source for his quotes, no video link or anything. Is it certain that Schneider actually said it, or was it part of an elaborate Twitter joke?

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  5. hockeyispretty
    March 17, 2012

    Game is on now. What is going on with the CBC announcers? The play-by-play guy sounds like the Stepford wife of hockey announcers. I’m told it’s Mark Lee – I remember his super dooper excitement over RNH in the first Canucks-Oilers game, so he can’t always sound like a zombie.

    The other guy, Kevin Weekes, who talks and talks and you never feel like he’s said anything, has finally got my attention by claiming that Canucks have scrambled their defence pairings but left the main Edler and Bieksa pairing intact. Mark Lee didn’t notice or care about this heresy.

    I miss our guys, Shorty and the other one, who talk about cheese too much but are not robots.

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    • John in Marpole
      March 18, 2012

      I abandonded the HNIC audio of Lee & Weekes several games ago, muting CBC & turning on 1040 for my play X play. .

      The 1/2 second or so time delay between the radio audio (it is that bit ahead of the video) & the HNIC video becomes less and less annoying to me with every passing week. I’d settle for on-screen American Sign Language play X play rather than listen to Lee & Weekes ever again.

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  6. bob
    March 18, 2012

    The only thing remotely interesting about Weekes’ commentary is the suit he decides to wear that week.

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  7. Phileo99
    March 18, 2012

    If Schneider gets the start on Wednesday vs. the Hawks, the media will make the most of that opportunity to overhype to mass hysteria proportions, the controversy behind that decision.

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  8. superreggie
    March 19, 2012

    I love when we hear radio hilights of eastern games. The announcers for the American games like Boston/NewYork etc. are so insane. It sounds like a monster truck rally. Every goal you’d think Mechagodzilla crushed up another car…

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