PITB is famous: Kevin Bieksa thinks we’re Jan Bulis

Kevin Bieksa and Zack Kassian were Saturday night’s guests on After Hours, the interview segment of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada telecast that, under Scott Oake’s watchful eye, touches briefly on hockey then hastily devolves into shenanigans. In Bieksa’s case, between joining Twitter, the Bieksa family golf tournament, milk hot dogs, “Angry Bieksa“, and the glove-throwing incident, that meant there was a lot of ground to cover. Seriously, Scott Oake could have just prepared for this interview by clicking the “Bieksa” tag on Pass it to Bulis.

Heck, he might have, since we got a whole lot of love during the segment. At 13:50 of the clip, the topic turned to Bieksa’s Twitter account and the controversy over who deserves credit for convincing him to sign up for it. Was it Ryan Kesler, who no doubt has the inside track here, or was PITB’s highly-persuasive and tightly-run “Twitter Needs Juice” campaign? Oake took the opportunity to do some serious investigative journalism on the matter.

Sadly, Bieksa dismissed our influence. “I don’t succumb to peer pressure,” he said. “It wasn’t this Bulis guy. It was Kes that got me.” Of course, then he claims that Kesler “got” him by promising fans the account would tweet once it had 10,000 followers. So, we’re considered peer pressure, but 10,000 expectant fans isn’t? Clearly, we have underestimated our power. Let it be known that Kevin Bieksa finds us threatening.

Then Bieksa starts mocking our moniker. “We traded Bulis, right? That’s who it is, Jan Bulis?” But, luckily, Oake’s got our back. He clarifies that the man behind the account is me, Harrison Mooney, not Jan Bulis. It’s nice to be recognized, although one wonders if, since this is the second time Oake has attributed the blog solely to me, Daniel is eventually gonna snap like Homer Simpson in “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” (Daniel! Wagner! Daniel Wagner!)

(For the record, the fact that Bieksa thinks the Canucks traded Jan Bulis when he was with the team during the 2006-07 playoffs just goes to show how little impact the patron saint of this blog actually had.)

Anyway. This was just one of the highlights. As usual with a Bieksa interview, there’s plenty of gold:

  • Bieksa had some choice lines for Vern Fiddler, whose De Niro/Juice impression broke Alain Vigneault: “He’s an ugly guy to start with, so that didn’t help.” I liked when he mentioned that there were “a couple other Muppets” that do an impression.
  • As a guy who wears thick-frames glasses and has been known to sport an adventurous blazer, I don’t appreciate Kevin Weekes encouraging Urkel and Carlton comparisons.
  • I loved Bieksa riffing on Cody Hodgson’s makeover. “We changed his whole wardrobe and everything… we’re proud of the product now and we’re proud to send him off to Buffalo — here you go.” Then, when Oake asked if Bieksa was suggesting Hodgson would be one of the best-dressed members of the Sabres, he burned the whole area like a fire-breathing dragon. “I don’t know the team that well, but the city? Yeah, he’ll be one of the best-dressed.”
  • Oake asks if Kassian will need fashion tips and Bieksa goes for the backpat. “Tough Ontario boy — usually they know how to dress.”
  • Justin Morneau, who plays in Minnesota, texted Bieksa “nice fastball” after he threw a glove at Cal Clutterbuck. Bieksa claims it was his slider. Whatever it was, he hit his own teammate in the back with it, so it was a wild pitch.
  • Bieksa on Twitter: “I pick my spots, though. I’m a spot-picker. I don’t go on after like, ‘Big win tonight, crowd was buzzin’!’ I hate that kind of stuff.” Amen to that.
  • Bieksa notes that the twins are big practical jokers, but they typically just pay their teammates to pull the jokes on one another. For instance, they paid $200 for him to say milk hot dogs on-air. This makes sense. Wizards do everything behind the scenes.
  • ADORABLENESS ALERT: Recently, we noted that Ryan Kesler is teaching his son how to Keslurk, but he’s not the only Canuck child who knows how to crash an interview. Kevin’s son Cole makes a surprise appearance at 5:30 to complain that someone keeps taking his ball. One would think that Bieksa’s son would be more prone to defending his territory. Heck, even Bieksa encourages his son to “Fight for it.” (Note: as soon as Cole rounded the corner and disappeared, Valter Sedin paid him $200.)
  • Bieksa on naked Kesler: “Sometimes you make tough decisions.”
  • Bieksa explains that success at the family golf tournament is based on 5 categories: “Golf, consumption, wrestling, not throwing your clubs in the woods and water, and not crashing the golf cart.” He may not be the best golfer, but he’s by far the best Bieksa family golf pentathlete.
  • At 13:50, Zack Kassian walks past with four members of the Sabres. HEY. WRONG TEAM, IDIOT.
  • Scott Oake, summing up a weird and awkward interview: “Last time you were on the show, I got nominated for a Gemini. I’m not so sure about tonight.” Bieksa: “That’s your fault, though.”
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26 comments

  1. peanutflower
    March 4, 2012

    Weird and awkward, those are the right words indeed. I actually thought Weekes looked pretty cool but the suit was a little too small. Otherwise pretty snappy. You have to give Oakes credit for trying — but sometimes he just tries too hard. I give Bieksa kudos for agreeing to be on After Hours for the fourth time, but really, he’s probably the best guest they ever get so I’m sure they ask for him every time, right? That little bit of Kassian trailing the rest of his ex-team mates was about the most awkward part of the interview I thought, maybe next to Oakes trying to get Bieksa to remember the shot shot shot thing — Bieksa is just such a dink, isn’t he. :)

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    • Nee
      March 4, 2012

      Trying too hard is right. Still enjoyed the interview, but it was basically Scott Oake trying to coax imp-ish answers out of Bieksa while Weekes just sat there and tittered at every comment. Bieksa doesn’t need coaxing to be funny. He has a very natural sense of humour and comedic timing : )
      I like it when Kelly Hrudey is Scott Oake’s wing-man. He helps reign in Oake, and injects some actual hockey questions into the interview.

      Cole interrupting the interview was adorable though.

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    • SteveB
      March 5, 2012

      I actually thought Weekes looked pretty cool but the suit was a little too small

      I thought that it had been fitted by Pee-wee Herman’s tailor.

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      • tj
        March 5, 2012

        I thought it funny Weekes kept defending his suit as some sort of ‘Vancity’ style. Unless he means the banker-look…

        Now, I’ve seen Sean Avery rock the full-on plaid suit, but his build and the cut are more million-dollar style. Weekes’ suit just sort of epitomized his personality: a bit too loud, a bit too awkward, a bit too (up)tight.

        Scott Oake seems to come off as someone with man-crushes, and Bieksa seems most amused by it. Is he a jerk? I hadn’t thought that maybe he is one of the players other NHL’ers refer to when they say the Canucks have some a’holes on the team. I do know my mom watched the interview and was impressed by him. She’s a senior, so it’s both creepy and amusing.

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  2. Anonymous
    March 4, 2012

    (Note: as soon as Cole rounded the corner and disappeared, Valter Sedin paid him $200.)

    I am fully convinced this happened. Those kids are studs.

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpxkhackDF1qiyzfno1_500.jpg

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    • cathylu
      March 5, 2012

      That was my favorite line as well! And your added photo seals the deal.
      Thanks also to PITB for posting the whole video. When we watch the games at home (on NHL Center Ice) the second the game is over the black screen comes up with “The game has ended” so we never get to see the After Hours stuff.

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  3. Ben
    March 4, 2012

    They should really try and get Tanev on there he’s a real live wire.

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  4. sgolesor
    March 4, 2012

    I also liked Kassian’s After Hours interview (though obviously not for the same reasons). He’s saying a lot of the right things. I also found it interesting when they asked him which player he modeled his play after, he said Bertuzzi.

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    • sgolesor
      March 4, 2012

      Also, I’d like to ask if Qris is actually gone or just chronically forgotten by both Harrison and Scott Oake?

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  5. PITBFan
    March 4, 2012

    “HEY. WRONG TEAM, IDIOT.” I can’t stop laughing. I thought the same thing last night!

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    • I'mjustsuggesting
      March 4, 2012

      Me too! I was quite disturbed that he was walking with them.

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      • Daniel Wagner
        March 4, 2012

        Likely just going out for one last night on the town with his buddies from the Sabres. No big deal.

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        • Harrison Mooney
          March 4, 2012

          It’s like the drinking equivalent of breakup sex.

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          • Brent
            March 5, 2012

            Breakup sex, Kassian and 4 Sabres. Disturbing image!

            Did you see Bieksa’s look when they went by? I suspect Kassian will hear about fraternizing with the enemy! Do you think any Canucks would go out for beers with Cody after the game? Well … ok Booth may watch Lion King with him.

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  6. V
    March 4, 2012

    This is pure excellence. I heard about it after the fact, so I’m glad you’ve posted it here.

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  7. Ella
    March 4, 2012

    If it had just been the glasses and the blazer, it would have been fine, and not even really worth mocking, but the fact that was an ENSEMBLE!!! It was totally worth the comparisons to Urkel/Carlton.

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  8. Melissa
    March 4, 2012

    i thought that when he said, “I don’t go on after like, ‘Big win tonight, crowd was buzzin’!’ I hate that kind of stuff” it was kind of a dig at duco? maybe that’s just me but the boy uses buzzin’ after every darn word.

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  9. akidd
    March 4, 2012

    congrats on the national publicity.

    i’m thinking that bieksa prepares for interviews with a little shadowboxing in the bathroom mirror.

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  10. Chris the Curmudgeon
    March 4, 2012

    Harrison, you are a dead ringer for Kevin Weekes, at least that look he was rocking yesterday.

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  11. zach
    March 4, 2012

    and somewhere, Cody Hodgson made this face because he has not yet been accepted by his Sabres teammates.
    http://twitpic.com/8s57xn

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  12. J21
    March 4, 2012

    I now wish I ended up in a field where I could do on-camera interviews purely so that my daughter could walk up and ask an innocent question right in the middle. That was priceless.

    one wonders if, since this is the second time Oake has attributed the blog solely to me, Daniel is eventually gonna snap like Homer Simpson in “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” (Daniel! Wagner! Daniel Wagner!)

    Oh, he’s not starving for attention — after all, who constitutes the reason Ritch Winter will be citing in his pompous autobiography as to why he counselled an “unnamed client” that he simply had to get out of an unnamed NHL city in the Pacific Northwest following “media harassment”?

    Is there a “Skeeter did this” Internet meme yet?

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  13. Zandberg
    March 5, 2012

    Weekes looked like Harrison and both look like Urkel sometimes. Well there ya go.
    PITB is famous…yeesh. Toot your own horn much?

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    • tj
      March 5, 2012

      Yeesh. Re: ‘Toot your own horn much?’ I hope you’re being ironic, as this post/feature has always been.

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      • Harrison Mooney
        March 5, 2012

        True. Although one wonders is the “PITB is famous” label is beginning to see some diminishing returns as our mentions become a little less surprising. *strokes beard*

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  14. warren
    March 5, 2012

    the Canuck interviews feature their kids frequently.

    then you have Dave Bolland for Chicago, Mark Recchi for the Kamloops Blazers/Dallas Stars, Jimmy Howard for Wings, the Serb for Boston, with their nonsense.

    Bieksa is a tough guy in his weight class and at least one above – plus he is a human being.

    makes it easy to be a canuck fan – particularly a Bieksa fan.

    GOOD article Harrison – i like your priorities

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  15. sandee
    March 5, 2012

    I find the comments from Bieksa about dressing well pretty funny because of a personal run in I had with him a couple years back. I was playing with my daughter in the park and this guy was having trouble getting his son onto the swing I was going to offer him help since he was clearly injured and unable to pick him up. I looked down at his kid and saw his black snake skin sneakers and thought “What kind of idiot gangster wears shoes like that?” and then looked at his face and it was Bieksa. This was when he was injured with his 2nd skate cut.

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