Kevin Bieksa and Zack Kassian were Saturday night’s guests on After Hours, the interview segment of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada telecast that, under Scott Oake’s watchful eye, touches briefly on hockey then hastily devolves into shenanigans. In Bieksa’s case, between joining Twitter, the Bieksa family golf tournament, milk hot dogs, “Angry Bieksa“, and the glove-throwing incident, that meant there was a lot of ground to cover. Seriously, Scott Oake could have just prepared for this interview by clicking the “Bieksa” tag on Pass it to Bulis.
Heck, he might have, since we got a whole lot of love during the segment. At 13:50 of the clip, the topic turned to Bieksa’s Twitter account and the controversy over who deserves credit for convincing him to sign up for it. Was it Ryan Kesler, who no doubt has the inside track here, or was PITB’s highly-persuasive and tightly-run “Twitter Needs Juice” campaign? Oake took the opportunity to do some serious investigative journalism on the matter.
Sadly, Bieksa dismissed our influence. “I don’t succumb to peer pressure,” he said. “It wasn’t this Bulis guy. It was Kes that got me.” Of course, then he claims that Kesler “got” him by promising fans the account would tweet once it had 10,000 followers. So, we’re considered peer pressure, but 10,000 expectant fans isn’t? Clearly, we have underestimated our power. Let it be known that Kevin Bieksa finds us threatening.
Then Bieksa starts mocking our moniker. “We traded Bulis, right? That’s who it is, Jan Bulis?” But, luckily, Oake’s got our back. He clarifies that the man behind the account is me, Harrison Mooney, not Jan Bulis. It’s nice to be recognized, although one wonders if, since this is the second time Oake has attributed the blog solely to me, Daniel is eventually gonna snap like Homer Simpson in “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” (Daniel! Wagner! Daniel Wagner!)
(For the record, the fact that Bieksa thinks the Canucks traded Jan Bulis when he was with the team during the 2006-07 playoffs just goes to show how little impact the patron saint of this blog actually had.)
Anyway. This was just one of the highlights. As usual with a Bieksa interview, there’s plenty of gold:
Bieksa had some choice lines for Vern Fiddler, whose De Niro/Juice impression broke Alain Vigneault: “He’s an ugly guy to start with, so that didn’t help.” I liked when he mentioned that there were “a couple other Muppets” that do an impression.
As a guy who wears thick-frames glasses and has been known to sport an adventurous blazer, I don’t appreciate Kevin Weekes encouraging Urkel and Carlton comparisons.
I loved Bieksa riffing on Cody Hodgson’s makeover. “We changed his whole wardrobe and everything… we’re proud of the product now and we’re proud to send him off to Buffalo — here you go.” Then, when Oake asked if Bieksa was suggesting Hodgson would be one of the best-dressed members of the Sabres, he burned the whole area like a fire-breathing dragon. “I don’t know the team that well, but the city? Yeah, he’ll be one of the best-dressed.”
Oake asks if Kassian will need fashion tips and Bieksa goes for the backpat. “Tough Ontario boy — usually they know how to dress.”
Justin Morneau, who plays in Minnesota, texted Bieksa “nice fastball” after he threw a glove at Cal Clutterbuck. Bieksa claims it was his slider. Whatever it was, he hit his own teammate in the back with it, so it was a wild pitch.
Bieksa on Twitter: “I pick my spots, though. I’m a spot-picker. I don’t go on after like, ‘Big win tonight, crowd was buzzin’!’ I hate that kind of stuff.” Amen to that.
Bieksa notes that the twins are big practical jokers, but they typically just pay their teammates to pull the jokes on one another. For instance, they paid $200 for him to say milk hot dogs on-air. This makes sense. Wizards do everything behind the scenes.
ADORABLENESS ALERT: Recently, we noted that Ryan Kesler is teaching his son how to Keslurk, but he’s not the only Canuck child who knows how to crash an interview. Kevin’s son Cole makes a surprise appearance at 5:30 to complain that someone keeps taking his ball. One would think that Bieksa’s son would be more prone to defending his territory. Heck, even Bieksa encourages his son to “Fight for it.” (Note: as soon as Cole rounded the corner and disappeared, Valter Sedin paid him $200.)
Bieksa on naked Kesler: “Sometimes you make tough decisions.”
Bieksa explains that success at the family golf tournament is based on 5 categories: “Golf, consumption, wrestling, not throwing your clubs in the woods and water, and not crashing the golf cart.” He may not be the best golfer, but he’s by far the best Bieksa family golf pentathlete.
At 13:50, Zack Kassian walks past with four members of the Sabres. HEY. WRONG TEAM, IDIOT.
Scott Oake, summing up a weird and awkward interview: “Last time you were on the show, I got nominated for a Gemini. I’m not so sure about tonight.” Bieksa: “That’s your fault, though.”
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