Roberto Luongo has become a very divisive figure in Vancouver. Either you love him or you hate him, and if you hate him, you hate him vociferously. He wilts under pressure. He’s not clutch. He loses his stick too often. He flops around like a fish. These are just some of the oft-voiced criticisms.
But people wouldn’t say these things if Luongo-hating summoned his ghost like saying “Candyman” or “Bloody Mary” three times into a mirror, now would they?
Of course, only a five-year old could believe something that silly. Take Jordan, for instance, a youngun who backs off on his “Carey Price is better than Roberto Luongo” argument the moment his Auntie suggests she might just tell Luongo where he lives and let the Canucks’ netminder come get him.
Don’t laugh too hard at poor Jordan. His argument for Price’s superiority is no less convincing than other arguments I’ve heard: “Carey Price saved all these shots. Roberto saved a couple shots — [slurping saliva] — but he didn’t save that many before they scored.” Airtight.
Of course, it’s not Jordan’s debate skills that make this video so wonderful. It’s the exchange that follows:
Auntie: I’m gonna tell Roberto that you said that about him.
Jordan: [Disbelieving] No.
Auntie: And then I’m gonna tell him where you live, and he’s gonna come and get you.
Jordan: [Concerned] No. [Terrified] NOOOOOOOOO! I don’t want him to!
Poor Roberto Luongo. At one time, people thought he was good. Then people thought he was bad. Now people think he’s slasher movie bad. Don’t go out at night in Vancouver. Roberto Luongo will kill you.Tags: Everything is Luongo's fault, The YouTubes