The Canucks Bleacher Creatures are all abominations

This past fall, the NHL joined the NBA, the MLB, and the NFL in partnering with Bleacher Creature Toys, a company based in Pennsylvania that turns the sporting world’s most popular athletes into plush dolls. Now, anybody can snuggle up with a Sidney Crosby, Henrik Lundqvist, or Patrick Kane doll, provided they’re willing to drop $25. (Of course, you could probably do that with the real Patrick Kane for free, especially if you’re an unbelievable blonde.)

There are currently 23 Bleacher Creatures available in the NHL store, and 3 of them are Canucks: Henrik Sedin, Daniel Sedin, and Ryan Kesler. They’re all terrible.

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I Watched This Game: Canucks at Calgary Flames, February 11, 2012

Going into this game, the Canucks hadn’t lost in regulation in 8 games and had gone to overtime in 5 of their last 6 games. According to their record over their last 10 games, the Canucks were the hottest team in the NHL. According to anyone who actually watched those games, the Canucks were playing some of their worst hockey of the season.

Hey, I watched those games. Then I watched this game.

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