There are plenty of reasons why the opposition might dislike Kevin Bieksa (the photo above, for instance, depicts him taunting the TD Garden crowd after the Canucks’ recent win in Boston), but for local bloggers like ourselves, he’s a godsend.
From his decision to join Twitter (as per our campaign) to the milk hot dogs thing to the disclosure of the Canucks’ grand and hallowed tradition of animal nicknames, Juice has been feeding us gold all year long, and during a slow news cycle like the one we’re currently experiencing, Bieksa’s contributions are even more appreciated.
Our pal Derek Jory recently played Alex Haley to Bieksa’s Malcolm X, collaborating on a custom mad lib that provides insight into many of Bieksa’s running gags, as well as valuable hockey advice (“Wear a jock, but never pee in it”) and thought-provoking handshake safety questions (“With so many diseases, should we adopt the ‘head bow’?”). Be sure to Read Bieksa’s full mad lib at Canucks.com, but let’s take a look at some of the highlights.
Here’s Bieksa and Jory on milk hot dogs (which 2012 is apparently the year of):
I don’t typically make New Year’s Resolutions, but the one thing I want to accomplish in 2012, aka the year of the MILK HOT DOG, is to ARREST SOMEONE. I’ve always wanted to. Why not now! Today’s the day! Seize the moment! I should really work for VPD with that kind of go-getter attitude. Maybe I will when I retire. Nah, retirement will be my time to EAT and SLEEP the days away. That’ll be swell.
A lot of people have been asking me about MILK HOT DOGS recently. It was an inside thing. We have a lot of fun in the dressing room. To satisfy your curiosity, I will tell you this: THE TWINS PUT ME UP TO IT. Keep that to yourself, no one knows that. Or, on the flip side, that I LISTENED TO THEM.
It’s worth noting that, in the previous occurrence of the “milk hot dog” gag, Ryan Kesler disclosed that the twins put him up to it as well. Clearly, “milk” and “hot dogs” are English words the Sedins find incredibly hilarious. Maybe they’re swear words in Swedish or something.
But perhaps the most informative moment in Bieksa’s story is the signoff:
Kevin WOLVERINE Bieksa
My friends, I do believe he just gave us his animal nickname.
Perhaps it’s a moniker he earned after learning not to pee his jock? Soiling oneself during the play is a very Hugh Jackman thing to do.Tags: Bieksa, canuck animals, milk hot dogs, Twitter Needs Juice