Spitballin’ on more Luongo misfortune, spam accounts, Behind the Lens

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass ITBulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few topics that deserve mention.

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Even The Score thinks Luongo sucks

Great stuff from our buddy The Stanchion, as he shared this brilliant screenshot from the media scrum following Tuesday night’s win over the Colorado Avalanche. As you can see, the Score’s “S” microphone + Luongo’s “Canucks” t-shirt = hilarity:

I don’t care if you think Luongo sucks or, like us, you don’t. That’s just funny, and pretty typical of the luck Luongo has had lately.

Luongo’s not on the block

Bruce Garrioch writes a weekly column in the Sun where he makes up reports iffy trade rumours (such as “Malkin to the Kings”). Last week, he poured fuel on the Canucks’ goaltending non-troversy by claiming that Mike Gillis shopped Roberto Luongo but was unable to find a taker.

When asked about the “rumour”, Mike Gillis said, “Not a chance.” Then, Thursday morning on the Team 1040, he elaborated:

All you have to do is look at the source and you’ll know [the rumour] has zero credibility.

You just got served, Bruce Garrioch.

Spam accounts should stick to spam

No, this isn’t about Damien Cox. It’s about Twitter user @nottokyomw5. Thursday morning, he (or she or it) tweeted the following:

There’s a lot wrong with that. For one thing, The tweet was sent the day after the Canucks had defeated the Colorado Avalanche 6-0. For another, Schneider came off the bench to preserve the win and maintain the shutout, so he certainly didn’t run out of magic. Also, there’s no “7″ in “eventually”, as far as I know. What’s the deal?

It’s a spam account trying to fit in. 9 of every 10 tweets from this account feature nothing but a link to one of those “free iPad giveaway” sites that gives you the run-around, bombards you with pop-ups, installs all sorts of adware on your computer, and never delivers on the Apple swag.

But the account clearly works hard to disguise its spammy nature, not just with topical tweets about the local sports team, but tweets that inconspicuously explain away a timeline full of spam:

Nice try there, guy.

Andrew Alberts on the wing

If Victor Oreskovich was Cody Hodgson, Tony Gallagher would be writing a book on Alain Vigneault’s dedication to ruining him.

We’ve observed, in the past, that the Canucks’ coaching staff doesn’t think all that highly of Oreskovich. They grumbled when he made the team, they waived him in favour of Dale Weise, and Thursday, they sent him to the minors and opted to play Andrew Alberts on the fourth line his place. That, my friends, is a slap in the face.

Alain Vigneault had this to say of Oreskovich:

I just wasn’t crazy about his game and thought that we needed something else.

That “something else” being your seventh defenseman. In other words: anything else.

As Brad Zeimer points out, getting punched out by Shane O’Brien, whom Alain Vigneault does not like, probably didn’t help Oreskovich at all.

Welcome back, Behind the Lens

All hail the return of Behind the Lens, the fantastic Canucks.com series that pairs Jeff Vinnick photos of the Canucks riding the team plane with Derek Jory’s quippy captions. It’s a favourite among Vancouver fans. The standout from this batch? This intense photo, which Derek Jory captioned, Beastmode, even while watching a movie.

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8 comments

  1. The Bookie
    December 8, 2011

    If you read that all the way through, it says “Global News Sucks Vancouver Canucks” – not only hilarious, but it also rhymes!

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  2. Frank Nelissen
    December 8, 2011

    Maybe that is because Kesler is watching a replay of the SCF… You know, just to get ready for the next game!

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  3. Hips
    December 8, 2011

    Poor kes, it must suck to have an acne problem at his age. Unless those are cuts.

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    • Spencer
      December 8, 2011

      His face is actually just oozing awesome.

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      • Harrison Mooney
        December 8, 2011

        Awesome really clogs up the pores.

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    • tj
      December 8, 2011

      Methinks the blemishes are where the helmet sits; you know, where he sweats most whilst working his 0% bodyfat patootie off to entertain us. Give the guy a break (and maybe a bottle of organic witchhazel…)

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  4. Stinkpickle
    December 9, 2011

    Beastmode? Is he trying to avoid the harmful effects of energon on his robot form?

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  5. swizzler
    December 11, 2011

    ya that’s a good picture of kesler, but did you not see hamhuis answering fan mail????

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