Is Mason Raymond behind the thirteenth forward curse?

The American Express line combined for 3 goals and 9 points Sunday night versus the Calgary Flames, the pinnacle of an effective five-game stretch, and it really seemed as though they were beginning to click. Unfortunately, in the two days that followed, both wingers found themselves sidelined with injuries.

On Monday, Chris Higgins came down with a bizarre foot infection, and on Tuesday, David Booth suffered an MCL sprain in a gruesome collision with Colorado’s Kevin Porter. Just like that, Ryan Kesler once again found himself piloting a wingless vehicle.

This was a suspicious bout of misfortune. How to explain it?

Mason Raymond is evil now. Think about it. Look at those eyes.

First, we had Aaron Volpatti’s suspicious shoulder injury, which I initially blamed on the thirteenth forward curse. But let’s backtrack. As you recall, Raymond declared himself ready to go two weeks ago, but the Canucks were playing so well that Alain Vigneault refused to make changes to the lineup. Then, when Vigneault finally gave him his opportunity, a paperwork error forced Raymond to sit for one more game. Volpatti returned, and he made the most of his second go, scoring a goal.

Was it enough to keep Raymond in the press box for another night?

We never found out. After the game, it was announced that Volpatti needed surgery and Raymond would come in after all, playing on the third line with Cody Hodgson and Jannik Hansen. I never saw the injury. Did you? Is it possible it happened after the game at the hands of a rage-driven Raymond?

Yes, it is possible.

But you know that what Raymond really wanted was a return to the second line, especially in a contract year. However, with Higgins and Booth playing fabulously, it seemed unlikely that Raymond would get his wish.

And then, just like that, both wings were cleared out for him. Is it possible that Mason Raymond used chemical warfare on Chris Higgins and coerced a favour from Kevin Porter to do away with Booth?

Yes, it is possible.

Now I’m beginning to wonder if the entire thirteenth forward curse has just been Mason Raymond’s doing. Is it possible the Canuck speedster has been pruning the forward corps for months, just to preserve a space for himself?

Yes, it is possible.

And would you blame him? Not only was Raymond forced to walk off the ice on his own with a broken back, but the team couldn’t even bother to get his paperwork in order. And heck, last season, they plucked Ryan Kesler from his powerplay unit and basically sent him out by himself on the second unit.

Is it possible that Raymond eventually realized no one was looking out for him but himself and took a turn towards supervillany? Is it possible that Mason Raymond’s gentle psyche was broken along with his back? Is it possible that he’s returned from his injury with a newly jaded outlook on life, ala Harvey Dent, and now seeks to avenge a laundry list of perceived slights?

Yes, it is possible.

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15 comments

  1. JS Topher
    December 8, 2011

    Glad to see someone else point it out… I was starting to wonder myself… Ièd really be careful if I was Burr… 2nd line duty might not satiate his desires

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    • The Bookie
      December 8, 2011

      Burr goes down with a knee injury suffered in a freak accident slipping on da turd.

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  2. JMA
    December 8, 2011

    Is it possible that Bruce Garrioch wrote this article and got it published in the Ottawa Sun?

    Yes, it is possible.

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  3. Drew
    December 8, 2011

    He does look like a younger Anakin Skywalker…

    http://www.jeditemplearchives.com/galleries/2011/Review_AnakinPeasantDisguiseTVC/Review_AnakinSkywalkerPeasantDisguiseTVC_stillA.JPG

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  4. SJ
    December 8, 2011

    Never trust the man with the adorable face

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  5. Jawzini
    December 8, 2011

    Mason Raymond=Annakin Skywalker(well on his way to the dark side)

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  6. Jawzini
    December 8, 2011

    Young Vader

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  7. akidd
    December 8, 2011

    you’ve got a point. paperwork? uh, sounds like a bit of broad excuse. but you lose a bit of credibility by describing booth’s play as fabulous. revisionist much? booth had maybe two good games. other than that higgins was the fuel that fed that line. he’s been dynamite all year. you only need one hand to count the number of puck battles booth has won this year. the guy was lost without the puck. and with the puck, the puck was often lost. but ya, booth was starting to pick it up, i concede. but fabulous? not quite.

    if raymond is really nice to hansen maybe jannick will share his new anti-snakebite talisman with him.

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    • Daniel Wagner
      December 8, 2011

      Booth’s play has been a lot better than his results would indicate. In terms of puck possession as measured by the Corsi statistic, Booth has been one of the best Canucks this season. His loss is huge.

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  8. J21
    December 8, 2011

    Mason “Two-Face” Raymond…?

    Come to think of it… Mason… Freemason… conspiracy??? Who else is helping him carry out these acts of perfidy?

    What don’t they want us to know?

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  9. Rituro
    December 8, 2011

    We could test this theory a number of ways, but let’s go with the simplest method: create one of those hideous Frankenjerseys that combines the flying-skate-on-white with the current orca-on-blue. If Raymond starts speaking in two different voices, we have our culprit.

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  10. chuggo fizzins
    December 8, 2011

    Maybe the inury was worse than we were told, requiring Gillis to bury Raymond in the Pet Cemetary.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      December 8, 2011

      Best. Reference. Ever.

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  11. tj
    December 8, 2011

    Trying to post something complimentary to PITB and Mason, but I’m getting a ‘Cheating huh’ spam blocker thingy. I don’t understand why…

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  12. tj
    December 8, 2011

    Here’s what I was trying to post; hope it gets ‘through’:

    You guys always find the best photos for your posts. This one, he even looks slightly alien and other-Masony.

    Chuckles galore here. (And may I just point out, in all seriousness, I’m so impressed by his gracious and level response to being levelled by Boychuk. Upstanding young fella, this Mason guy. I say we keep him long as we can.)

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