Cody Hodgson is playing some excellent hockey right now. The rookie centre has 4 goals and 5 assists through his first 18 games, he’s made the second-unit powerplay look threatening for the first time in two years, and he was named the first star Sunday night versus the Islanders. He’s finally beginning to make a case for himself as a bona fide top-six forward, and Canuck nation is beginning to swoon at his potential.
But don’t be too quick to embrace Cody Hodgson, everyone. I’m beginning to suspect that he’s a huge nerd. Let’s consider the evidence.
1. He needed a makeover.
And this wasn’t just a matter of removing his glasses like Laney Boggs from She’s All That or Tracy “Ogbert” Jordan – Cody’s decidedly un-chic wardrobe required a full-fledged style intervention. From Kevin Bieksa’s Twitter account:
Jason Botchford followed up on this, and we learned that Hodgson wasn’t one for the “look good, feel good” philosophy until his teammates forced it on him. Hodgson wore running shoes all the time because he found them more comfortable, which is typical nerd logic.
Manny Malhotra did his best to help out. He played personal shopper, taking Hodgson to a mall just outside Columbus to start this road trip. Hodgson wore the new, sharp clothes he got with Malhotra to a team dinner that night. He was still smiling about it all Tuesday in Philadelphia.
[...] “It took a lot of work and a lot of people’s opinions but we finally got him out of his Grade 9 wardrobe,” Bieksa said. “We got him into some professional hockey clothes. He’s looking good now.”
2. He’s creepy.
The second sign that Hodgon’s a nerd: he hovers. It’s a dead giveaway, because nerds are socially inept. Again, back to Kevin Bieksa’s Twitter account:
It’s impossible not to notice when you’re in the presence of nerds because they stand behind you, use their inhalers right in your ear, and breathe on your food. Cody Hodgson sounds exactly like this.
3. He’s feeble.
Kid’s got a bad back. You know who else has a bad back? Every nerd ever.
4. He has a weird name and he insists on pronouncing it correctly.
Oh really, the G is silent? Nerd.
5. He was in the chess club.
It’s pretty much scientific fact that the chess club is just a haven for nerds. I mean, look at these dorks.
According to Brad Ziemer, Cody Hodgson was one of them:
I started really young,” [Hodgson] said. “My dad taught my brother and I the game and we have always played against each other and friends. I was actually in the chess club growing up until high school and then I didn’t have a lot of time to play competitively. I enjoy it. I like the mental aspect of it.”
He still plays a lot. If you ever see him staring into his cell phone, he’s probably not texting a friend. He’s playing chess.
No friends? Chess by himself? NERD ALERT.
6. He has an alter ego named Stefan.
Okay, I made this one up. But still. It’s an open and shut case, people. Take it away, Homer:Tags: cody hodgson is a nerd, featured, investigative journalism