Canucks 1 – 5 Wild
For those that thought the Canucks were in the clear the moment the clock struck November, that, perhaps, all that spotty play was exclusive to October, I submit tonight’s game as evidence to the contrary. Don’t let the early goal fool you — this was the polar opposite of a sixty-minute effort, an utter bedwetting, the worst thing to happen in Minnesota since Morris Day steals Apollonia in Purple Rain. Of course, unlike that film, tonight’s game was unwatchable, and I should know, because I watched this game.
- In retrospect, there were a lot of early signs that the Canucks weren’t going to show up tonight, such as the first shift. After the Wild won the opening draw, they dumped it into the Canucks’ end, where Kevin Bieksa retrieved it, and made a lazy pass that was easily intercepted by Wild winger Nick Johnson. Were it not for Cory Schneider shutting the door, it would have been 1-0 within the first ten seconds.
- Schneider did a lot of door-shutting tonight. He was like Mappy the mouse. His finest moment was a Jacques Plante-style kick save on Guillaume Latendresse that might be among his best stops ever, but he had a bevy of beauties apart from that one as well. Sure, he allowed four goals (trade him for Ohlund!), but considering the Wild — a team averaging 25 shots a game — peppered him for 45 shots tonight, it’s pretty obvious Schneider was the only Vancouver player interested in preventing the puck from crossing the goal line. It almost seemed like a conspiracy. Makes sense. It’s Movember, and that’s what happens men grow moustaches: they conspire, like dastardly whiplashes.
- Manny Malhotra’s been struggling to start the season, but Alain Vigneault has been willing to let him play his way back into game shape. Tonight may cause him to rethink such plans, however. Malhhotra finished a game-worst minus-4 on the evening and, if he wasn’t standing at the blue line waving a green flag each time the Wild entered the offensive zone, I’d be hard-pressed to say I saw him tonight.
- The fact that Kevin Bieksa finished tonight’s game with zero giveaways is proof that Minnesota’s stat counters are the basest of fools, because Juice was particularly generous tonight. I felt like the tray of cookies he kept offering the Wild forecheckers was a little much.
- You could tell the Canucks were really out of sync tonight just by watching Henrik Sedin. There was this one amazing moment where the puck was lying in front of Josh Harding, and Henrik went after it. But, rather than jam it in like he normally does, he lost his footing and went flying into the goal. He also flubbed two saucer passes, simply handing the puck to Wild forecheckers instead. What is going on when Henrik is botching saucer passes and screwing up tap-ins? Those are elementary Henrikian activities. I sure hope he sleeps the rust off before he tries to trim the goatee, or he might be a late addition to the Canucks’ Movember team.
- I was amazed at seeing Keith Ballard mistime two hipchecks in tonight’s game as well. Seriously, were the Canucks poisoned? Tell the doctors to check for ricin.
- Speaking of Keith Ballard, he was at the center of perhaps the most entertaining sequence of the game (for a Canucks fan, at least — Wild fans probably liked all the scoring). Late in the third, Cal Clutterbuck took a run at him, but Ballard ducked the hit as he often does, upending Clutterbuck instead. As Clutterbuck came up, the two men got into something of a scuffle, which led to Maxim Lapierre jumping in to defend his teammate by attempting to throw Clutterbuck into the Canucks bench. Then Clutterbuck elicited more laughs by taking two wild swings at Lapierre along the boards, instead landing both punches right on the beak of linesman Darren Gibbs. You’re not allowed to do that, so Clutterbuck was given a misconduct for his errant pugilism.
- Speaking of things you’re not allowed to do, Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis, ever charitable, took a penalty for attempting to help Lapierre throw Clutterbuck into the bench while he was sitting on it. Hamhuis also opened the scoring tonight, shoveling in a loose puck on a goalmouth scramble created by some wizardous sedinerie. It was Hamhuis’s fifth opening of the day — the other four were all St. Paul youth centres, obviously.
- Now, I’m no fan of the Wild, but let’s be sure to give them credit where credit is due. While the Canucks were all kinds of awful, the Wild played a pretty fantastic game tonight. They created a ton of offense (again, nearly twice the shots they usually average), and made the most of their opportunities with some beautiful snipes and some incredible individual efforts. Defensively, they gave up a few chances, but I was amazed at how dedicated the whole team was to sweep checking, poke checking, and stick lifting. The Canucks never seemed to have any space at all. And Vancouver could probably learn something from the way Minnesota kept coming in the third period, even though the game was pretty well finished by then. It’s almost as though they didn’t want to give the Canucks any life.
- I was intrigued by Alain Vigneault’s line juggle in the third period, which saw Alex Burrows and Cody Hodgson trade places on the top two lines. It definitely wasn’t an indictment of Burrows play by any means. He was the only Canuck at plus-one, and he had a team-high five shots. You could argue he was the best Canuck. So why bump him down a line? Because Alain Vigneault needed to get Ryan Kesler going. He looked really out of sorts tonight, and the Canucks need him in sorts. They need him in all sorts of sorts.
- Matt Cullen had 9 shots tonight. In the 11 games prior, he had 21. He also went 13-for-17 in the faceoff circle. The dude was feeling it.
- I thought it was the right choice to sit Sami Salo, who was dealing with some groin tightness but could have played if the Canucks really needed him. The last thing they need is for Salo to exacerbate an injury now that will hobble him come the playoffs when they really need him. Effectively, playing Sami Salo is like eating off the fine china. That said, he was missed tonight. The powerplay looked like a shell of itself, Andrew Alberts was a complete liability alongside Alex Edler, and Edler looked nothing like the d-man we’ve seen over the past two games. Alain Vigneault was so desperate to get Edler going in the late stages that he put him back with Dan Hamhuis.
- And finally, a word on Aaron Volpatti’s second period fight with Brad Staubitz. I would have understood if Volpatti had gone looking for a fight, but he didn’t. Staubitz actually instigated that scrap after Volpatti stood up Cal Clutterbuck, who was taking a run at him. This is absurd. It’s already pretty stupid when people jump in to avenge clean hits, but it’s twice as stupid when people jump in to avenge a player not getting hit. Hey! You were supposed to get hit by him!
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JS Topher
November 4, 2011No way! Hammer was just trying to prevent the ref from getting socked again. He was probably trying to pull him over for a relaxing hug therapy session with Kiss Huggins… Who knows, maybe they mistook his name for Cal Cuddlebug.
Shand
November 4, 2011Eminently unwatchable. IWTG always helps make a loss feel better. I loved the Breaking Bad reference, too
The Bookie
November 4, 2011yeah I caught the IWTG last night when it first went up, and was tempted to make a joke like ‘No no, check for Lilly of the Valleys!!’ … but I just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm. That’s how bad that game was.
Should have gone with my backup, ‘I commented on this game’.
Jezz
November 4, 2011Too bad the Canucks flatly stopped playing early on in the second period.
Even worse is that that happened on Tuesday, and they’ve decided to let a game and a half lapse before starting again.
Seriously though, if this game clearly demonstrated one thing it’s that Sami Salo rocks.
invisibleairwaves
November 4, 2011Ugh, I hate watching the Bizarro Canucks.
I fear Kevin Bieksa got himself involved in some sort of temporal paradox and the 2010 playoffs version of him showed up to the game instead. Not cool. Maybe check for incongruous police boxes around the arena before the St. Louis game? The Canucks can deal with injuries, but timey-wimey stuff is a whole different matter.
CanuckFanInSF
November 4, 2011Timey-wimey? Do I sense a Dr. Who reference here?
Nlee
November 4, 2011I find it interesting that after the game Burrows and Bieksa both said it was the worst game they had played as a Canuck. Do they not remember the Voldemort game last year? Or half the SCF games?
But at least they are mad at themselves…I’d like to think it guarantees them the win tonight against St. Louis. But I don’t know…so far this team hasn’t been able to put a consistent performance together.
It’s odd to see them playing the way they have so far, given that there has been so little turnover from the roster that laid waste to the rest of the league last year.
peanutflower
November 4, 2011Every comment above is better than I could have written so I’ll just say IWTG was the best part of the game.
Zach Morris
November 4, 2011There are the 7-4 “I hope you took out insurance, because this is gonna be a barnburner!” games against Washington, and then there are the mid-week 5-1 “and Matt Cullen scores.” games against the Wild.
Thank you for watching this game so I didn’t have to.
invisibleairwaves
November 4, 2011Seriously, if this is what happens to the D corps in the absence of Salo, Gillis has got to hurry up and either bring Tanev up or make a trade for someone who can play with Edler. I’m not saying Alberts is a pylon, but…well, let’s just say the Protoss could build fully-functioning structures in his vicinity.
Rituro
November 4, 2011Unlike the Protoss, though, the Canucks do not require additional pylons.
jenny wren
November 4, 2011Cory Schneider:
Exceptionally sharp in the four-one loss,
He was carrot cake without the sauce.
Jenny Wren
Zach Morris
November 4, 2011Jenny, that was unusually concise!
jenny wren
November 4, 2011Really nothing else to say,
When only Cory came to play!
J21
November 4, 2011So by my count, the Wild are five times better than the Canucks, who are in turn five times better than the Flames.
Next MIN-CGY game, I’d better see a 25-1 score, or my conception of the universe is going to need adjustment.
cambo
November 4, 2011and a 0-40 record, with regards to winning a Cup, means the Flames are 40 times better?
cambo
November 4, 2011hey suck hole Nuck fan’s, your team will be out in the first round this year so stock up on kleenex, tampons and brooms to clean up the riot trash. CHUMPS.
The Bookie
November 4, 2011awww, he thinks it’s CBC. cute.
CanuckFanInSF
November 4, 2011Finally a “Mappy” reference!!!!
Schneider was indeed the only Canuck that came out to play. I won’t be surprised if one (or 5)of his 40 brilliant saves would make it to NHL network’s “saves of the week” again.
He so not helping Lui’s case here. Most of those saves made me jump out of my couch and yell “Filthy!!!” or “Thievery!!” to which my husband would run and think that I was fighting goblins in our living room
Oh Juice. Sweet baby Juiceman. That was a dismal performance. For what it’s worth he can participate in the summer Olympics in the 50m Freestyle. Meh. I know he knows he was godawful.
Never have I missed Sami Salo more than last night’s game.
The pretty boy duo of Kesler/Booth needs to start stepping it up. Wait. Are we giving them the FULL month of November to get it together? I’m just wondering what my timetable is before I start shopping for materials from my local crafts store to create signs that say “OCCUPY BOOTH” or “OCCUPY KESLER”
Onward and forward. Let’s go Canucks!
(please no shutout tonight)
akidd
November 4, 2011grizz had four shots(6 attempts) and kes had just one(4 attempts.) we’ll see how it goes but I’d kinda prefer the 40-goal scorer being the guy pulling the trigger whenever possible.but at least grizz hits the net even if his shot flutters a bit…like a wonky arrow.
Nucks94
November 4, 2011I would guess that you only watched this game till 10 minutes left, wrote up your summary & watched something better (Purple Rain?). Schneider let in 5, don’t blame him, he was the only one to come & play.
George Stevens
November 4, 2011Love the Salo vs Fine China analogy (…playing Sami Salo is like eating off the fine china)
Very true. My wife and I dont drink from the fancy crystal paper-thin wine glasses during the week. They can’t be put in the dishwasher and they have a drink-to-break ratio of approx 7:1.
Salo’s game-to-injury ratio is similar and he’s too valuable to injure mid-week in Minnesota during November.
akidd
November 4, 2011that’s commendable, georges. i’ve never been able to lay off the good wine glasses. and i’ve got a collection of some pretty nice singles going.