During his After Hours interview with Scott Oake and Craig Simpson Saturday night, David Booth recounted a hunting trip he took with his father into the Alaskan wilderness. Booth explained that, while the men were in search of a grizzly, they wound up shooting a black bear instead. Why? According to Booth, “There’s so many of ‘em out there, that they eat up all the blueberries, and we don’t want that to happen.”

Okay. Don’t hog the blueberries, or David Booth will hunt you down.

Considering that Kevin Bieksa’s love of pineapple juice earned him the moniker “Juice”, it seemed a safe bet that Booth’s predilection for blueberries was going to earn him a nickname as well, and it has. Bieksa appeared on the Team 1040 Wednesday morning and told Canuck nation that Booth’s nickname was “grizzly”. According to a corresponding tweet, it’s pretty much for the reasons we expected.

However, there’s another reason Booth boasts an animal nickname: Bieksa went on to say that all of the Canucks have animal nicknames, then served to explain this recent esoteric tweet:

According to Bieksa, “Wolf” is Keith Ballard, “Bull” is Ryan Kesler, and “Eagle” is Alex Edler. Also, Jannik Hansen is apparently the honey badger, which is all sorts of hilarious.

This being the stupidest blog in the history of the world (a fact that some people, like Cracked, don’t quite realize we’re fully aware of) we have made it our mission to find out the rest of the Canucks’ animal nicknames over the course of this year. These animals, we’ve gotta catch ‘em all.

In the meantime, we have no choice but to speculate wildly. Please join us. For example, @nicraymond suggests that Henrik and Daniel Sedin are quite obviously red pandas, and we agree.

Henrik Sedin, relaxing on a pile of dirt.

Like the Sedins, red pandas are rare, adorable, usually born in multiples, have goatees, are very territorial, many feel they need to be protected, and, of course, are gingers. It just makes sense.

If you’ve got any other ideas as to what animals the Canucks are and why, please suggest them in the comments. We’ll take the best ones and assemble them into a post, hopefully featuring sketches from Chloe Ezra. I haven’t asked her yet, but I’m sure it wouldn’t take much convincing, especially since she once drew Manny Malhotra as a jar of jam.

Tags: , , ,

21 comments

  1. Chris B
    November 3, 2011

    Max Lapierre = Hyena

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  2. DanD
    November 3, 2011

    Sami Salo – “The White Pony”
    Maxim Lapierre – “The Weasel” (not because I don;t like him, it’s just his look and style of play)

    That’s all I’ve got for now.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  3. Will
    November 3, 2011

    Malholtra is bat seeing as he is as blind as one. Too soon?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  4. The Bookie
    November 3, 2011

    Rome is the Mule
    Alberts is the Orangatang
    Alain Vigneault is Business Cat

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • The Bookie
      November 3, 2011

      also, why did Bieksa say they are in Edm 4 times a year? Isn’t it only 3?

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • DanD
      November 3, 2011

      Ha! Business cat is awesome!

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Harrison Mooney
      November 3, 2011

      Business cat!

      VN:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  5. JDM
    November 3, 2011

    I would like to suggest that Higgins be called the “Bear” for the simple reason that bears are generally regarded as intense huggers, but that might lead to a fight when the Canucks play the Jets.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  6. JDM
    November 3, 2011

    Also, in before someone makes a joke about Luongo being “Deer in the headlights”.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  7. Dani
    November 3, 2011

    Did I miss something or do we not know who Fox is?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  8. Sandlak
    November 3, 2011

    Alex Burrows = owl. As in “dad, get me a burrow owl”.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  9. Sandlak
    November 3, 2011

    Cody Hodgson = gnu (silent g, relatively new guy)

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  10. vancitydan
    November 3, 2011

    Fox is a mystery. I’ll speculate that is Burrows.

    Does Sulzer have one yet? Coyote.

    Weise is Hawk…Volpatti? Wolverine.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  11. tj
    November 3, 2011

    Aw, “Honey badger” Hansen don’t give a ***t if people laugh at his voice. He’s badazz.

    The red panda Sedins is all kinds of perfect.

    I would have pegged Burrows as a tiger, or at least Tigger. Time to recall animal cracker faves…

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  12. Miriam
    November 3, 2011

    For those of you who are unaware of the honey badger’s… er… honey badgerness: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=honey+badger&aq=f (warning: swearing. If that sort of thing bothers you)

    Oh, and Hamhuis= teddy bear. Not a real animal, but w/e.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  13. Mike H.
    November 3, 2011

    Schnieder should be Caterpillar because he spends a long time in his cocoon before revealing a beautiful “butterfly.”

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  14. Nlee
    November 3, 2011

    Burrows = beaver. Industrious, loyal, unglamourous, hardworking, but can do alot of damage. Also: have big chompers.

    Example: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/canada/7676300/Worlds-biggest-beaver-dam-can-be-seen-from-space.html

    Malhotra = elephant. Steady, respected. Intelligent. Highly family (team) oriented. Hairless : )

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  15. Wil
    November 4, 2011

    From what we saw of Hamhuis’ Halloween costume in the past, he should be Pooh Bear! :D

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  16. J21
    November 4, 2011

    I see jackal for Burrows, for whatever reason.

    Raymond’s gotta be the gazelle or antelope.

    Malhotra — crocodile, for how low and deadly he gets in the faceoff circle

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  17. jen
    November 4, 2011

    Mason Raymond = Flying wombat

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  18. Gabrielle
    November 10, 2011

    Luongo=Goat. Not being rude here, but he usually gets blamed for… well, everything.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)