While the Canucks.com message boards can be hive of scum and villainy so scummy and so villainous they make the Mos Eisley space bar look like the Mos Eisley space church, the forum can also provide some quality chuckles on occasion. Such is the case with “Marko Sturm = the next Uwe Krupp?”, a thread started by forummer “ThaManBeast” over at the aforementioned scum-hive. Let’s take a look:
Marko Sturm is legendary! Thank you GIllis for this fantastic offseason addition.
Sturm hasn’t exactly lit the city on fire in his debut, and if he keeps playing the way he has been, he won’t be around when Canuck fans light the city on fire next June, either. The German-born winger has only one shot through his first four games and has combined with Mikael Samuelsson to do little else but get the Canucks’ second line demoted to the fourth. Legendary might be pushing it.
Bearing this in mind — and the fact that a) It’s Marco, not Marko and b) Uwe Krupp was a defenseman, so the comparison doesn’t make any sense — I’m fairly certain “ThaManBeast” is joking. I’m not positive, however, since it’s still the Canucks.com message boards, where common sense is on the list of banned users.
But if he’s not joking, everyone else is. I think. The first response, from ”srsface”, is either the definition of insanity or quality sarcasm:
I agree, I was confused at the signing but Sturm has been fantastic. He brings out the best in Cody, maybe he could do what Sundin did for Kesler, in maturing him. I can see Sturm scoring 40 goals along side Kesler, maybe even 50 with the Sedins.
He’s also a veteran, I believe he will step it up in the playoffs. We need a game-breaker, and that is him. Re-signing him this off-season is a must. And that is why MG is GM, he finds bargains.
And “kanucks25″ is either substantially less subtle or substantially less intelligent, I can’t tell which:
I totally agree, Sturm is everything this team needed to take the next step. Coming into the season, the Canucks required a legit top-6 winger to put them over the top, but MG went above and beyond the requirements.
The way Sturm plays really reminds me of Trevor Linden in the early 90′s. He battles for every inch of ice, always strong on the puck and his ferocious efforts when back-checking are amazing.
I know you said that you think Sturm should play with Kesler when he comes back, but I really think that this current second line should stay how it is and Kesler should be put on the 3rd or 4th line so he doesn’t disrupt the chemistry. I think we have a special thing going here; Sturm may end up being the best free-agent signing of the modern era.
It’s too bad he’s had injury troubles during his career. There’s no doubt that he’d be known as the best European forward in NHL history if he was able to stay healthy.
My favourite part is when he suggests Ryan Kesler stay in the bottom six, so as to not disrupt chemistry. That’s a nice touch.
Eventually, “Kyle” comes along and asks the question we’re all thinking:
What in gods name am I reading
At which point “micgao” adjusts his words slightly:
godsMarco Sturm’s name am I reading”
Okay, yeah, they’re definitely joking. If there’s one thing I know about God, it’s that he accomplishes a whole lot more in a week than Marco Sturm.Tags: forum fun, Marco Sturm, super duper sarcasm