Today is October 31st, which means it’s time for the greatest costume-themed holiday of the year: Halloween! If you don’t have a costume yet, you might be in trouble. You don’t want to be one of those lame people who shows up at a party without a costume, or worse, a nametag with someone else’s name on it or a t-shirt that says “This is my costume.” But, because you’re either lazy or forgetful, you don’t have a lot of time to put a costume together.

Since you’re reading Pass it to Bulis, I’m going to assume a couple things about you: you are a refined person with great taste and you are a Canucks fan. You’re going to need to leave your taste behind temporarily – you don’t have time for it – but since you are a Canucks fan, we’ve created some ideas for last-minute Canucks-themed Halloween costumes.

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Here’s a video of the Canucks paying a visit to Canuck Place to carve pumpkins with the kids. It’s adorable, and I encourage you to watch it, especially if you like things that are exceedingly sweet.

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Jannik Hansen just got Keslurked

It’s official: Ryan Kesler has an addiction. Only two days after going on a Keslurking spree at the 12th annual Sports Celebrities Festival — a spree that, for many, might satisfy the urge to bomb for quite awhile — Kesler was right back at it, Keslurking Jannik Hansen’s postgame interview with Joey Kenward.

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This was a thoroughly enjoyable game for two very simple reasons: a lot of goals were scored and most of them were scored by the Canucks. Really, it’s the simple things in life that matter the most. Four different players recorded 2 goals in this game. One was Alexander Ovechkin, which is not unexpected. The other three were Chris Higgins, Maxim Lapierre, and Alexander Edler, which is a bit more surprising. Even more surprising, Luongo received a healthy dollop of praise, despite giving up four goals on 32 shots. Funny how everyone likes the goaltender when the team plays well in front of him. I watched this game.

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Attendees of the 2011 Sports Celebrities Festival just got Keslurked

The Canucks were at the Vancouver Convention Centre Thursday night for the the 12th annual Sports Celebrities Festival, a charity event co-organized by the Vancouver Canucks and Special Olympics BC. The evening featured dinner, silent auctions, video games, and plenty of opportunities to pose for photos with members of the Canucks and the individual awards they won last season.

Of course, by now you probably know how this works: if Ryan Kesler is at an event where cameras are in use, he’s gonna sneak in a couple Keslurks, and Thursday night was a shenanigan-heavy affair.

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There were some major changes in the Official PITB Anti-Fantasy League standings this week, as Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, and Patrick Marleau awoke from their slumber, causing a great deal of dismay for their anti-fantasy owners and bumping JDM and Shawn R from their place atop the leaderboard.

Henrik Zetterberg, Michael Grabner, and Dan Boyle are still proving to be great picks, however, with Eric Staal a potential sleeper with only 5 points in 10 games to start the season. Roberto Luongo’s early season struggles have certainly endeared him to his anti-fantasy owners and Tim Connolly still hasn’t tallied a point this season due to injury. Ales Hemsky, as well, will be gone for the next two weeks: welcome news for anti-fantasy owners, if not Oilers fans.

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The latest “Cabbie Presents” from TSN features everyone’s favourite beleaguered goaltender, Roberto Luongo. Cabbie is brilliant. I’ve been a big fan of his since his days doing “Cabbie Unlimited” and “Cabbie on the Street” with The Score. The guy has an uncanny ability to put professional athletes at ease and get them to answer questions they normally wouldn’t from the mainstream media.

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When last we left Wellwood’s World, Welly had just signed a one-year deal with the Jets after failing to come to terms with the Sharks. After a warren of West Side Story jokes (don’t the Jets and Sharks prefer basketball to hockey?), Wellwood settled in with Winnipeg, finding a spot on the third line.

As the internet’s foremost Wellwood-ologists, we noticed a few odd things about his start with the Jets. Such as the fact that he’s leading the team in goalscoring, with 4 goals in 9 games. That’s not normal: Wellwood’s highest goal total in his career was 18 with the Canucks in 2008-09. He’s also third on the team in points, with 6.

Some players on the Jets made their stats a little more respectable by cashing in on last night’s absurd 9-8 victory over the Flyers, such as former Canuck and friend of the blog Tanner Glass, who had his first ever 3-point game (third line for Glass!), tying him with Wellwood for third on the team in scoring. Wellwood, on the other hand, only had one point in the game, a goal. Instead of his usual streakiness, Wellwood has been a model of consistency, scoring in 5 of the Jets’ 9 games and never going more than one game without a point.

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Back by popular demand, PITB presents Part III of The Canucks and the Zombie Apocalypse, a completely ridiculous piece of horror fiction.

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If it wasn’t already quite apparent that Canuck fans are a strange lot, consider some of the curious Canuck-themed jack-o-lanterns featured on the NHL’s official Facebook page. Or, better yet, just key in on the one that features a carving of Ryan Kesler’s nude photo from ESPN Magazine’s “The Body Issue”. That one should do it.

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Drance Numbers is the silly research wing of PITB. While Messrs. Wagner and Mooney blog nationally and solve mysteries, Drance Numbers will look into the minutiae of quantifiable NHL data and bore you with it every Friday. Today, Drance looks at the shooting percentage of Sedin linemates.

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Last season, the Canucks scored first in 49 of their 82 games. They had a 41-2-6 record when scoring first. When they didn’t score first, their record was 13-17-3. And you might recall that the team that scored first won every single game in the Stanley Cup Final.

This season, the Canucks have scored first in only 2 of their first 10 games. They have won both of those games. They are 2-5-1 in their other 8 games.

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Tuesday night, just after the Edmonton Oilers scored three goals in the opening half of the second period, Alain Vigneault abandoned the defense pairings with which he had begun the game in favour of two familiar duos.

Kevin Bieksa, who had started the game alongside Keith Ballard, was returned to last season’s standout pairing with Dan Hamhuis. Alex Edler, who had begun the game with Dan Hamhuis, was reunited with Sami Salo, the blueliner with whom Edler played in the Canucks’ top pairing two seasons ago.

Immediately, the Canuck defense improved. It was a noticeable enough difference to make one wonder why the Canucks hadn’t stuck with these pairings before. The past two seasons have provided ample evidence that each worked, and yet, for whatever reason, the Canucks were averse to sticking with them. Early in the Canucks’ contest with the Blues, even, Edler saw a few shifts with Kevin Bieksa. What are the Canucks up to?

Blame Alex Edler.

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For the second game in a row, Roberto Luongo was the problem, letting in three goals on 31 shots, including two goals on 6 shots in the third period, when the Canucks desperately needed him to shut the door in order to have a chance at clawing their way back into the game. Clearly, it’s time for Cory Schneider to take the reins and – hmm? What’s that? You say that Schneider started this game, not Luongo? Oh.

Cory Schneider was outstanding against the Blues tonight, keeping the Canucks in the game through two periods, giving up only one goal on 25 shots. Unfortunately, the skaters in front of him were unable to provide him with any goal support and, while desperately pushing for a goal in the third, gave up some prime scoring chances at the other end that Schneider couldn’t possibly be expected to stop.

Ugh. I watched this game.

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If you’re a Canuck fan on Twitter, you’ve no doubt noticed the suspicious @Keith_Ballard4 Twitter account that sprung up a few weeks back, but has yet to issue a single tweet.

With the name on the account being what it is, we’ve seen a number of people question whether or not this is the real Keith Ballard. So is it? Probably. While there’s been no verification (primarily because there’s nothing to verify, since the account has just been sitting there), it seems reasonable to assume that this account is legit.

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Tonight was a tale of two games. In the one game, which took place in the first period, the back half of the second period, and the entirety of the third period, the Canucks defeated the Oilers by a score of 2-0. In the other game, which took place in the first ten minutes of the second period, the Oilers defeated the Canucks by a score of 3-0. Unfortunately for Vancouver, there was also a third, larger game, which was decided by combining scores of the other two games. Hence, the Oilers won this game as well. I watched this game.

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Yesterday, as David Booth was surrounded by a massive horde of hockey writers cramming cameras and microphones into his face like grandmas with spoons full of pudding, Canucks’ coach Alain Vigneault walked past and said with a chuckle, “Welcome to Vancouver.”

Yes, things are a little different here. While I won’t go as far as to say that no one cares about hockey in Florida — although, when an infomercial outrates your live game telecasts, um, the point sort of makes itself — it’s safe to say that the editorial board of the Miami Herald isn’t suggesting roster moves. No, that only happens here.

Pretty much everything David Booth does now is a story, and if there’s a way to turn it into a controversy, you’d better believe somebody’s on it. For instance, had Booth chosen to sit out Tuesday morning’s optional game day skate on the morning of his debut — a reasonable option, since it was optional, and he’s probably exhausted — it would have been a story.

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The Canucks have scored eight goals over the past two games, meaning you have had eight chances to notice that the team has been rocking a brand-new goal song for the past week (and it would have been more if they hadn’t been shut out by the Rangers — the song was supposed to debut last Tuesday).

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Earlier this morning, we took a moment to say goodbye to Mikael Samuelsson and reminisce over some of the big goals he scored during his time in Vancouver. Marco Sturm, on the other hand, did not receive the same treatment. This is because the German-born winger only played six games with the Vancouver Canucks, failing to register a goal. Apart from bearing a curious resemblance to Manny Malhotra, Sturm did very little that we’ll remember.

Granted, he wasn’t given much of a chance to do anything memorable, and frustration over that fact is somewhat evident in this video, taken by Miami Herald Hockey during his first media scrum as a member of the Florida Panthers.

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Had he not debuted in Vancouver with a 30-goal season, there’s a good chance that Mikael Samuelsson might have had the same relationship with Vancouver as, say, Jan Bulis. Like this blog’s namesake, Samuelsson was a pretty weird guy.

There were the stunningly blunt quotes, such as when he told the media where Sweden could go or that he was incapable of fighting; there were the bizarre on-ice decisions, such as his complete unpredictability when it came to holding, shooting, or passing the puck; there were the sudden bouts of on-ice rage, seemingly uncharacteristic for the guy insistent that his teammates play whistle to whistle. Mikael Samuelsson was a genuine enigma, and Canuck fans don’t generally have much time for guys like that.

Unless they outscore their weirdness. And, as I said, Mikael Samuelsson did that. The Swedish winger put up 48 goals and 103 points in his two seasons in Vancouver. He quarterbacked the powerplay (better than anyone else the Canucks employed, contrary to popular opinion — a point I never got to make), and he was a great backup winger for the twins.

The dude could play, and he scored some meaningful goals in a Canucks uniform. Here are his five best.

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My apologies for the delay in updating the Official PITB Anti-Fantasy League. My intention was to have it updated every Saturday morning, but my source for statistics didn’t update until well after midnight on Friday and everything happened on Saturday, with the early afternoon game and the Booth larceny trade. So these statistics and standings are up to date as of Saturday at midnight.

The Sedin twins have been producing at a terribly fantastic rate, as have Anze Kopitar, Thomas Vanek, John Tavares, and Jeff Skinner. This is awful news for their anti-fantasy owners. For instance, Daniel Sedin has scored 4 times as many points as the lowest producer in his category, Corey Perry, while Anze Kopitar has 5 times as many points as Henrik Zetterberg.

Some owners are still benefiting from injuries: Tim Connolly and Nino Niederreiter have yet to play a game this season. Of course, neither has Aaron Rome, but since only one player in his category has a point so far, that’s not doing much for his owners.

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One day removed from Mark Spector (not to be confused with Marc Spector, Moon Knight) implying that “Danes and Swedes” are the source of Vancouver’s issues, the Canucks defeated the Minnesota Wild, getting goals from a Dane, a Swede, and a Finn. Minnesota’s two goals from good ol’ Canadian boys weren’t enough to defeat the European onslaught.

Of course, then Mike Gillis traded a Swede and a German for an American and a Canadian, so maybe Spector was right. Or maybe we should judge players on how they actually play instead of their nationality. Crazy idea, I know, but it just might work. I watched this game.

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Only one day after The Province spun a globe and landed on the state of Florida as a potential trade partner, Mike Gillis has partially taken their advice, trading Mikael Samuelsson and Marco Sturm to the Florida Panthers in exchange for winger David Booth, centre Steven Reinprecht, and the third round pick the Canucks gave to Florida in exchange for Chris Higgins.

You heard that right. The Canucks have moved their two least impressive players so far this season for a power forward for Ryan Kesler’s wing. You wonder what else Mike Gillis could accomplish if an afternoon game forced him to get up early every Saturday.

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Yesterday, we broke down a Province news editorial that espoused a trade sending Roberto Luongo to the Tampa Bay Lighting for Vincent Lecavalier.

It was an odd thing, this unexpected newspaper-endorsed trade proposal, and not just because a paper’s editorial board doesn’t usually weigh in on rosters like they were playing “Fantasy GM mode” in NHL 12: it was also just a bad trade. Either the editorial board’s hockey knowledge is scant, Mike Milbury is on said board, or both. One assumes that, if the Province were an Ottawa-based newspaper, they would have espoused keeping Redden over Chara, too.

Needless to say, we didn’t like it.

It turns out we weren’t alone, however, as Mike Gillis unexpectedly called in to the Team 1040 Friday afternoon like he was freaking Troy from White Rock in order to express his dislike for the piece.

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There are a number of reasons that I’d be bummed if Roberto Luongo left town, but chief amongst them is the fact that I would no longer be able to witness firsthand his amazing tendency to make a great joke at the absolutely wrong time.

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