Just stop, Bobby. Stop singing along to Nickelback.

The Ottawa Senators are taking advantage of the connection to their fans provided by social media to allow said fans to pick the team’s 2011-12 goal song on Facebook. It’s a fun idea that gives the fans an opportunity to have a say in something that will be a celebratory moment that brings the team and fans together. The goal song can be a galvanizing force for a fanbase: witness the way Blackhawks fans have rallied around “Chelsea Dagger” for instance.

Fans have five options to choose from, all having “a great chorus that fans can chant along to.” The only issue for the Senators is that they left the voting open to anyone who “likes” them on Facebook. Yes, anyone. That of course turned into anyone-who-doesn’t-like-the-Senator-or-at-least-wants-them-to-have-a-terrible-goal-song. So, pretty much everyone.

Nickelback and their song “Burn it to the Ground” currently lead the voting, largely thanks to the non-Senators-fan contingent of the voting public. But personally, I’m disappointed in the selection of songs to choose from. Here are 6 better options for the Senators:

1. Instead of flavor-of-the-year The Black Keys, why not the flavor-of-last-year Vampire Weekend? Their frenetic song “Cousins” would make for an unusual and fun goal song, potentially inspiring absurdist goal celebrations throughout the crowd. Or, since it’s Ottawa, slightly louder polite applause.

2. If you want Canadian content, you don’t need to go with Nickelback. How about the significantly less terrible post-hardcore band Alexisonfire and their song “No Transitory”? Just kick it off with the scream at the 2:16 mark, then listen as Dallas Green mocks the opposition with the threat of more embarrassment: “So now that your whole world has gone up into flames, this night is still neverending – do you think you’re still safe?” Now you have a badass, if esoteric, goal song.

3. “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes is a great song, but this “house” remix is a crime against musicality, if not humanity. If you want some house music, why not Canada’s own progressive house mastermind Deadmau5 and his hit dance single “Ghosts ‘N’ Stuff”?

4. Seriously, Ottawa, you have Britney Spears as an option? What? Why? How? Who thought that was a good idea? And why did everyone latch on to Nickelback as the embarrassing option on that poll? All the Leafs fans voting on Facebook could have been voting for Britney Spears this entire time. Sheesh. Since almost anything would be better than Britney Spears being blasted in a hockey arena, lets go with someone Britney once covered: Joan Jett. “Bad Reputation” would re-brand the Senators as the rebellious ne’er-do-wells of the NHL, revelling in their snotty attitude and slovenly appearance. Also, they have a bad reputation. It just fits.

5. No? Want something more traditional? Well it doesn’t get much more traditional than the classic Blur tune “Song 2” unless you bust out the Stompin’ Tom. The song, like “Cotton-Eye Joe“, is nearly synonymous with the hockey arena experience in the 90′s and still pops up from time to time. One of our twitter followers complained about its ubiquity, which makes me think that we need to go with a different Blur song. Why not their classic hit “Girls and Boys” with its infectious chorus that “fans can chant along to”? I see no reason why this song wouldn’t work in a hockey arena.

6. “The Whip” by Locksley is awfully cute. But I think in the context of a hockey arena, it will feel far too much like a scene from Score: A Hockey Musical. Let’s avoid that. For something similarly twee but significantly more funky, let’s turn to PITB’s own Harrison Mooney and Cinnamon Toast Funk with their song “Scrap That Junk.” Follow up the goal horn with the bridge that kicks in at 3:10 and you have a winner, my friends. Not literally, of course. Not many goals scored by the Senators are gamewinners.

Scrap that junk and strap me to the funk.

 

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8 comments

  1. ChairThrower
    September 20, 2011

    “It’s Raining Men” by The Weather girls

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  2. Lexie
    September 20, 2011

    Re: point 4.

    My exact first thought when I saw the list.

    As a side note, I felt dirty just pressing “like” to see the list…

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  3. Brosef Stalin
    September 20, 2011

    I can’t believe my favourite blog referenced my favourite band (alexisonfire). I would be all for a good dose of good Canadian music, but for the Ottawa Senators? Do they deserve such a band?

    If you ask me, Holiday is getting almost (but not quite) as stale as Chelsea Dagger… Vancouver could use a change in theme. But I guess nobody really asked me, so I’ll go back to my Rush collection and my dark corner…

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    • Daniel Wagner
      September 20, 2011

      Speaking of Rush, “The Temple of Syrinx” would make an awesome goal song. But I may be insane. Who knows?

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      • Ryan
        September 20, 2011

        I’m a huge Rush fan, but I don’t think that’d work. Now as to the team skating out to the tune of Xanadu? That would be awesome.

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  4. TubaNat
    September 20, 2011

    5 Words: Celebrate Good Times, Come On

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  5. Noodle
    September 20, 2011

    Someone proposed this a few years for the Nucks, which I thing is pretty decent: Clutch “Electric Worry”, starting at 0:58.

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  6. Human Cannonball
    September 20, 2011

    If the Canucks wanted something truly epic they could always go with this, dated though it might be:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrvIu8EGvnE#t=53s

    Potential crowd pleaser:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzVsm8Fyz_o

    I don’t know if this would really fit, but I think it would be a little bit kick-ass:

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