People You May Know is a feature at PITB where we speak with Canuck fans of note — actors, musicians, and the likes — in order to find out just how serious their fandom really is. Today, we chat with David Coles — perhaps better known as Kyprios — on being a Canucks fan, winning the Peak Performance Project, and stealing cigars from Pat Quinn.

How long have you been a Canucks fan?

The Nucks have been in my family since my earliest recollection. We actually lived next to Tiger Williams and I was the MC at his son Ben’s wedding. I also remember my eldest brother Steve’s wedding in 1982. Saturday, May 8th and everyone was in suits watching the TV for game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals versus the Islanders at our house. I think that was also the first time hearing the “F word” in unison… I guess when Snepsts turned the puck over to Bossy and then Bossy buried it on King Richard, it inspired the F-bomb chorus…

How much of a diehard are you? Give us an example. For instance, my cat is afraid to come downstairs during hockey games.

I wrote a song about the Canucks that contained rhymes, does that count?

Seriously though, the lowest I ever stooped was as a valet. I parked Pat Quinn’s car at the Beach House in West Van and stole a cigar from the inner console of his Benz. It was a [crappy] thing to do and I would like to officially apologize for the theft. Pat Quinn was such a hero that I just wanted to have something of his, plus the entire console was filled with these massive stogies and I think he was trying to quit… I helped by lightening his load by one and liberated a Cuban in the process. I told my crew about it, we sparked it and I was a hero that night. A real live d-bag Robin Hood loser hero. Sorry Pat.

What was your take on the Final?

Marchand beating on Sedin said a lot about that series and the style that was allowed by the refs, and that style dominated. I read an interview with the Twins who said, the year before, they were lambasted by the press and fans when the Canucks played physically against the Hawks, only to lose ultimately because of penalties leading to PP goals. The 10/11 team adjusted and made teams pay for careless penalties on the power play and abandoned mixing it up after whistle. The need for Sedin protection wasn’t a necessity because they were generally protected by the rule book in regular season and early on in the playoffs. In the final, the rule book seemed to change and the Canucks were beat up without an answer for the physicality.

Let’s not forget that Tim Thomas also had one of the truly most impressive Stanley Cup Final performances ever. In the end, the Bruins played better within the parameters those games were called in. When the Canucks did get their power plays, they couldn’t beat Thomas. Annoying.

Did you cry when they lost? Be honest. We won’t blow your rap cred by telling everyone. Yes we will.

I didn’t cry when they lost, I was more upset with the riot. I just now got back from London and inasmuch as the London riots became a smash and grab, they were at least rooted in something that would pass for a legitimate reason. Due to racial and religious tensions, a man of color was killed by the police, which spawned the initial reaction. What followed was deplorable, but you can understand people being pissed if there are feelings of oppression and a [bleeping] death involved. Feel me?

Our hockey team loses in game 7 and we burn our city while the world watched. Pathetic.

There are a million reasons that people could revolt out here that are purely socioeconomic or anti-government, yet no one lifts a finger on the [crap] that truly matters. I guess inflated bank loan rates, gas prices, property taxes, decrease in art funding, tar sands, and war are beyond the Vancouver rioters lighter fingers.

Not saying that we should burn down our own city because our prime minister is a [jerk], but I would feel a lot better if the emotion was substantial, not drunken idiotic cry babies whining over Gary Bettman. The little [crap] that happened in the Olympics even made way more sense. Embarrassed but whatever, I love my city, love the people and I love my team, can’t say we didn’t kind of do it to ourselves.

Think the Canucks make it back to the Final this season?

The West is way stronger. The Canucks have to make a statement early on as to what type of team they are. The rest of the NHL needs to be put on blast and be aware of their identity, I think. People see a soft, slow start then they will smell blood and the team could then break down internally. That happens and we struggle, then a miraculous testament of character and resolve would need to manifest. If it’s not there early it will be tough to summon later.

Last year’s squad had so much character from jump street. This team will need to show its character early, show its teeth, show its heart and will. Hopefully the guys got enough love for one another to protect the team’s pride and identity. I also hope that they have fun out there, who doesn’t like seeing a puck through the legs every now and then? Injuries to some key dudes is going to make it hard out of the gates.

Who gets more points this coming season, Daniel or Henrik Sedin?

So close it’s probably going to come down to injuries. If both stay healthy then Henny. The dude who passes gets more points.

Every Canucks fan has one, so what’s your opinion on Roberto Luongo?

As a kid, you like a player and you have a favorite guy or two. As a youngster you start to develop love for teams and your team(s). As a teenager you kind of start thinking of strategies and coaching and when you hit 30 you begin thinking as a GM, I think. The kid in me loves Luongo, the youngster loves the Nucks, the teenager hated Luongo becoming the captain and today I would let that salary go. The importance of goaltending switches almost every year as we look at our club’s tender in comparison to the club who has just won the cup. Yes goaltending won, but the guy who had the higher salary and profile didn’t win it.

I love Lou’s work ethic but question his ego and his sense of team. I would dump the salary if I could as a GM. I’m not a hater though.

Have you ever called in to the Team 1040? Be honest.

Yes. Many times. Not in the last two years, but I always want to. I would love to be in sports casting, [crap] is awesome, B-Mac is my [forgetting] hero.

Your favourite Canuck, presently and all-time.

Forward: Pavel and Kesler. Defense: Jovo and Bieksa. Goalie: Captain Kirk and Bobby Lou. Enforcer: Tiger and Ryp (R.I.P.).

Best Canuck jersey ever.

BLACK FLYING V!!!!!!!! I love the black flying v, I wanted to design my tuxedo around that [crap]. It’s the best.

Worst?

The ’96 jersey with the red was my least favorite with the weak little spray paint.

During the Cup run, everybody was writing Canucks’ fan support songs, most of which were terrible. Your song, “How the West Was One”, wasn’t. What’s the secret to creating a good fan song?

Don’t really know the recipe. Didn’t set out to make a good fan song, we just wanted a good, fun song. I definitely think the rip off pop songs are for the most part the weakest. Make some original or at least artistic [crap].

According to Canucks.com, you wrote the lyrics to the song while taking the ferry home after a show with T-Pain. What is it about the combination of being on a boat and spending time with T-Pain that inspires rappers to do their best work?

I was only on the ferry for a bit, after I wrote my rhyme I jumped on a dolphin and he was doing flips and [crap]. Kind of felt like Kevin Garnett a little but, you know, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!

Soon after you released the track, we wrote a post taking you to task for your factual inaccuracies. Do you hate us forever?

Yeah, I did hate you guys but for a multitude of reasons. First I hated you because I actually thought that you guys were Bulis and that a Canuck was following me on Twitter… big disappointment. Also because you seemed so nice and then [crap] all over my song line per line. My song had no factual inaccuracies – you’re a factual inaccuracy ya [jerk]. How could you hate my amazing clitoris line? I got to say that [crap] in Rogers Arena in front of a packed house. [Forget] you guys.

Congratulations on winning the Peak Performance Project this year. How has this helped you so far? Also, how is it fair that you won when you’ve already released, two solo albums and, like, five more with Sweatshop Union, not to mention been nominated for a Juno and a Genie? Bear in mind that we may be a little bitter since both of our bands didn’t make it past the submission stage.

Greg Sczebel had actually already won a Juno. Said The Whale won a Juno last year as well.

I paid half of my winnings to the judges, still 50k though. Not a bad haul actually. I was experienced enough in the music industry to know that there is no money in it, so I knew the judges were desperate and broke. I don’t think anyone else had that wisdom.

The Peak win has been great, I have more time to watch sports and talk to schmucks like you in my free time. Also, I heard the submission you sent in and thought it was pretty good, sorry you didn’t make it through.

You beat out Said the Whale to win the PPP. How does it feel to be their Tim Thomas?

Lucky. Those guys are better at me in life in general. I shouldn’t have beat them. They are murdering me career-wise right now. As I’m talking to you, they’re about to rock Toronto with Tokyo Police Club. Talking to you guys is still pretty cool though for me.

No it isn’t. Speaking of us, one of us — Harrison — is black. Think he could take you in a rap battle on natural ability alone?

Stupid question. I shouldn’t even answer this one but, yes, of course he could.

Your 2007 single, This is My Hit (which is awesome, by the way) namedrops a number of 90s pop outfits. Which one was your favourite? We’re big BSB-boosters over here.

I was actually on MTV’s show “2gether” that spoofed all of that [crap]. True story. I don’t know, they were all so good. B4-4 was on my old record label and I also really liked All 4 One and OTown.

You recently got married. Congratulations! How was the wedding? Were you able to get anything “rappy” into the ceremony?

Wedding weekend was the best weekend of my life. Friends and family in from Paris, Dubai, Malta, Manilla, USA, Winnipeg and my wife is Colombian so Colombia as well. I wrote a spoken word piece for my wife. Somewhat “rappy” somewhat not.

So, um, your real name is David Coles. How does one come by the nickname Kyprios?

Saw it in my Alphabits cereal one morning and re-mixed my whole life because of it.

Which NHL player has the most hip hop swagger?

Rayzer. Ray Emery. Go back and peep some of those outfits. So much swag…

Anything you want to plug?

My receding hairline… Maybe my website too (www.kyprios.com). Maybe my next Vancouver show on September 29th at Joe’s Apartment. Maybe you guys should come to make it up for being such [jerks] to me about my song.

Ha. And finally, your all-time favourite Canucks moment.

Playing Rogers Arena with my brother before game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals is up there. Pavel Bure’s hat-trick goal game 7 OT 94 playoffs. Put that man’s jersey in the rafters already, stop [forgetting] around with the politics and let the stats and the body of work do its thing.

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1 Comment

  1. Zach Morris
    September 19, 2011

    Solidly entertaing, I look forward to the next interview.

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