People You May Know is a feature at PITB where we speak with Canuck fans of note — actors, musicians, and the likes — in order to find out just how serious their fandom really is. Today, we chat with Alex “Stone Hands” Johnson, Alan “The Plug” Poettcker, Matt “Dangler” Vink, Joey “Cheddar” Porter, Josh “Trolley Tracks” Mitchinson, and Gypsy “Gino” McDaniel of Capitol Records’ partycore band, These Kids Wear Crowns.

How long have you been a Canucks fan?

ALEX: I’ve been a Canucks fan all my life.

JOE: Who are the Canucks?

How much of a diehard are you? Give us an example. I once broke my TV remote after the Canucks lost a regular-season game to the San Jose Sharks.

MATT: My dad threw a piece of cake against the wall when the Canucks lost in 94′.

ALEX: I love the Canucks so much I bought one of those old ugly red third jerseys. Gross.

What was your take on the Final?

ALEX: We had a mini riot in our hotel room. However, we didn’t damage anything cause they had our credit card info.

What did you think of the Alex Burrows biting incident? If Hedley’s Jacob Hoggard stuck his finger in your mouth, would you bite it?

ALEX: If he wanted me to. What happens in the playoffs stays in the playoffs.

You recently covered Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” Whose idea was that? Furthermore, if you’re covering 80s female pop vocal hits, when can we expect a TKWC rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s “Faster Than the Speed of Night“?

ALAN: I made a demo of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” to show the boys because I wanted us to play it live. We liked it and decided to put it on the record. We had to send an e-mail to Whitney Houston and the songs writers asking permission. They sent an e-mail back saying they liked what we did with the song.

ALEX: We’re thinking possibly Tina Turner next.

Solid choice. Speaking of private dancers, who gets more points this coming season, Daniel or Henrik Sedin?

ALEX: Henrik. Daniel’s going to get injured. Otherwise… they would tie.

ALAN: Of course.

Every Canucks fan has one, so what’s your opinion on Roberto Luongo?

JOE: Is that the guy who played 2nd base for the Blue Jays in the 90′s?

ALEX: That’s Roberto Alomar.

JOE: Oh.

MATT: He’s just unfortunately really inconsistent. He’s got great hair though.

ALAN: I’m a fan.

Since you guys are on the road a lot, one imagines you use the Internet to get most of your Canucks news. What are you top sources? If you don’t say Pass it to Bulis, this interview’s over.

ALEX: Fox Sports or ESPN.

ALAN: Those are American sites! Do they even cover hockey?

Have you ever called in to the Team 1040? Be honest.

MATT: Our dads call in religiously. Then they call us to tell us what they talked about.

ALEX: One day when we have kids we’ll call in too. As is tradition.

Your favourite Canuck, presently and all-time.

GYPSY: Alexander Mogilny.

MATT: Bure.

ALAN: Harold Snepsts. Best mustache ever. Sorry Dave Babych.

ALEX: Taylor Pyatt’s eyes. #PyattsEyes

JOSH: Mark Messier. The moose. The moose is loose.

JOE: Roberto Alomar.

ALEX: Good try Joe!

Best Canuck jersey ever. 

ALEX: The classic C. The one with the stick in the middle.

Worst Canuck jersey ever.

ALAN: The spagetti bowl.

Think the Canucks make it back to the Final this season?

ALEX: Of course. They’re still #1.

ALAN: If Luongo can play consistently and they can get some scoring from the 2nd and 3rd lines I think they’ll have a chance.

Have you considered allowing Hasbro to license “Break it up” to sell easy-bake ovens? “Bake It Up” would be a sweet jingle.

ALAN: Yeah! We’d be into that! We also have a song called “Don’t Sweat It” we’ve been pitching to deodorant companies. No takers yet.

Pretty sure most of the bass on your album is synth bass done on a keyboard. What did Alan do while his parts were being recorded?

ALAN: If I had it my way, the whole album would be synth bass. While we were recording in Texas we bought an original Nintendo and played TETRIS all day. Matt was the champ.

MATT: Yup. Still the champ. Uncontested!

You’re Spiderman. The Green Goblin throws the Boston Bruins over one side of a bridge and the Chicago Blackhawks over the other side. You can only save one. What do you do?

ALEX: Trick question. The Green Goblin is The Boston Bruins.

While researching for this interview, I came across the video for Kitchen Floor from Goodnight Medic, your old project. Now my eyes are bleeding. Why would you do this to me?

MATT: Does that chirp come in mens?

You guys have been touring all over Canada. What’s the dirtiest city? Be honest. It’s Toronto, right?

ALAN: Windsor. We love that place though. They have a mini Caesars Palace.

GYPSY: Windsor was the first place we met with our record label (EMI) before we were signed. During the meeting a bird pooped on my shoulder.

JOSH: It was a good luck poop.

ALEX: The prairies are very dusty.

You guys were nominated for a MuchMusic video award this year, but you couldn’t beat Fefe Dobson. Would you say Fefe Dobson is your Tim Thomas?

ALEX: She’s more like Chara. Love you Fefe.

GYPSY: I have a crush on Fefe Dobson.

You guys got your start on DisBand. Do you ever feel any shame taking the reality show route? Think you’ll meet and fall in love with a sexy hockey player, like Carrie Underwood did?

ALAN: The best part of starting out on a reality TV show is that you can’t sell out. We were never cool to begin with.

MATT: Ha ha ha!

ALEX: I give Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher another 6 months. Tops.

According to your Tumblr account, “We are out in Toronto touring with our boys FaberDrive. Last time we Hung out we almost got booted from the Canucks game. Long story. End result is the ‘Nucks won.” Care to elaborate?

ALEX: Not too much. All we can say is.. Matt and Gypsy took one for the team.

GYPSY: We’re not fans of how people can text security at Rogers arena.

ALEX: No doubt. Man up. Face your fears.

You guys are a self-proclaimed partycore band. Do you think you’ll ever match the partying skills of Andrew WK?

ALEX: Andrew W.K claims he stopped partying only once.

ALAN: It was the worst ten minutes of his life.

During the Cup run, everybody was writing Canucks’ fan support songs, most of which were terrible. What is your opinion on these songs? Why didn’t you write one?

ALAN: I heard a few of them. They were bush. Bush league.

ALEX: I wrote one!

ALAN: Yeah. it was bush.

Anything you want to plug?

JOE: Please download our songs on itunes. We need to eat.

ALAN: Thesekidswearcrowns.com. You can see all of our tour dates.

ALEX: There’s also some provocative photos of us there!

MATT: We’re also on Facebook and twitter.

GYPSY: We’re on the Google too.

JOSH: My goodness, we have no shame.

And finally, your all-time favourite Canucks moment.

ALEX: Kirk McLean’s famous two-pad stack save against the Flames. Legendary.

MATT: Bure’s goal to knock off the Calgary Flames in ’94.

JOE: 93 playoffs. Joe Carter hits a 3 run long ball to take home the cup!

ALEX: Wrong sport, Joe.

JOE: Then I don’t know what you guys are talking about.

 

 

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12 comments

  1. Carrie
    September 13, 2011

    TKWC and PITB… two things I love :)

    Though I like Joe a little less now..

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  2. also_ran
    September 13, 2011

    I love PITB, but this is the proverbial bottom of the barrel scraping.

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    • Daniel Wagner
      September 13, 2011

      To paraphrase John Paul Jones, we have not yet begun to scrape!

      But seriously, these guys gave some fun answers to our questions and that’s what matters. Also, I went to school with one of these guys and will have to tell him at the reunion that you don’t like his band. He’ll be devastated. Do you want that on your head?

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      • Kyle
        September 14, 2011

        Daniel Wagner! I read this site religiously (seriously, I wear rosaries and a pope hat). Now I know you’re the same Daniel Wagner that played keeper for our soccer team growing up. Good times – though I don’t recall us winning a lot when your dad was coach, or if you were on any of the other teams I was… but hey, great site!

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        • Daniel Wagner
          September 14, 2011

          We weren’t that bad, were we? I was just way too small to be a goalie.

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          • Kyle
            September 14, 2011

            Y’know, we may not have been – were you on the Phantoms or the Gunners teams? I was only on those two, and then some silver rep team that I don’t remember much from. The Phantoms went like 3-8, but the Gunners teams won the provincials twice. And yes, you were small, but you had HUSTLE! Your dad still teaching?

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            • Daniel Wagner
              September 14, 2011

              Yeah, I was on the Gunners. We were a pretty good team. My dad’s retired now.

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              • Kyle
                September 14, 2011

                Yeah, we were. Good times. Keep up the good work, Dan

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              • Daniel Wagner
                September 14, 2011

                Thanks, Kyle. Will do.

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  3. Jen
    September 13, 2011

    That video reminded me of The Magic School Bus.

    (The Roberto Alomar jokes made me laugh, too.)

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  4. Noodle
    September 13, 2011

    The song linked to at the end of the interview is all kinds of awful, but they seem to be true fans, so they get cool points.

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  5. TKWC,@panic10102
    September 13, 2011

    Hahahaha u guys r great! Joe……-.- I’m a hardcore TKWC and Canucks fan :D always support the boys! Mason Raymond get better soon! :)

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