Some of you may remember the offseason-amplified controversy over Mike Duco’s Twitter account, in which it was learned that the newly-acquired Vancouver winger had made some incendiary tweets regarding the Stanley Cup finalist Canucks prior to being traded to them. In a heel turn of epic proportions, we featured these tweets on the blog, which led to a surge of vitriol directed Mike Duco’s way, which led to the unfortunate deletion of his Twitter account, which, finally, led to a surge of vitriol directed our way.

Much of this vitriol was hilarious, but none moreso than the vendetta against PITB launched by Carolina forward Anthony Stewart (@Astew22), a former teammate of Duco’s with the Rochester Americans.  The morning after tweeting, The man had to delete his twitter… #Bringback@Duco87 tell @passittobulis to write that in his blog, Stewart woke up still angry, and proceeded to name July 15, 2011, National don’t pass it to Bulis day, (a holiday we are certain to observe in the coming years). I’d rather dump in on a breakaway than pass it to Bulis, Stewart wrote, then proceeded to use this same basic formula for a lengthy series of scathing tweets.

Needless to say, we were sufficiently scathed (and Jan Bulis might have been too, but, luckily for him, the holiday never made it to Chelyabinsk). But it wasn’t all bad — little did Anthony Stewart know that, he was effectively writing us a guest post, which he is welcome to do for us any time. That in mind, I present “12 things Anthony Stewart would rather do than pass it to Bulis,” a guest post by Anthony Stewart.

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1  I’d rather sit in the box for 3 days and watch the green men than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Is that so? Let the record show that Anthony Stewart =/= Glenn Healy.

2  I’d rather get dangled by Datsyuk (again) than pass it to Bulis.

3  I’d rather play the trap than pass it to Bulis.

4  I’d rather get dummied by Glass, Rypien and @BizNasty2point0 at the same time than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Not sure how this is possible, but I agree.

5  I’d rather have my head down at [Rogers Arena] and have #13 hit me than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Brent Seabrook begs to differ.

6  I’d rather panhandle outside the Roxy on a Wednesday morning than pass it to Bulis.

7  I’d rather be over the cap and play 9 forwards and 5 D vs the Wings than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: And with that, Anthony Stewart will never be welcome in Calgary.

8  I’d rather be the sweat rag in the Call On Me video than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Pfft. I’m sure a lot of guys would.

9  I’d rather get kicked off the national water polo team than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Zing.

10  I’d rather have Rebecca Black make a song about the rest of the week than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Me too. I’m still unclear as to the functions of Monday through Wednesday. A new song might help to clear things up.

11  I’d rather have Mike Duco watch my performance and tweet about it than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: Wouldn’t we all. #BringBackDuco

12  I’d rather play ringette than pass it to Bulis.

– Ed. note: I imagine this factored into Stewart’s decision to sign with the Hurricanes.

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4 comments

  1. J21
    July 19, 2011

    I was thinking, “Sweat rag? What sweat rag?” before realizing that I was thinking of the “Take on Me” video. I had actually been kind of impressed that a youngin like Anthony Stewart even knew about A-ha.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      July 20, 2011

      Ha, my wife and I made that same mistake. I even prepared a rebuttal that mentioned magic frames and pipe wrenches.

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  2. Rituro
    July 19, 2011

    Because if there’s anybody worth sticking your neck out and standing up for, it’s a plugger who will be hard-pressed to crack the press box, let alone the fourth line.

    Still, credit to Stewart for some decent zingers. I look forward to his Twitter account being hastily deleted in 2012 after Gillis trades a sixth-round pick for him out of spite.

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  3. John in Marpole
    July 19, 2011

    I am totally supportive of sharing the day of my birth with National PITB Day.

    Will there be a color theme for NPITBD? Presents? Endlessless pitchers of free beer? Pole dancers? Will the Marble Arch pub be reopened to host the party? “Shower! Shower! Shower!”. Those are all ideas I’ve had to mark my birthday, you’re welcome to use them for NPITBD.

    This will most certainly take the edge off waiting for the puck to drop in September.

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