Some of you may remember the above photo of Cory Schneider (minus the Hello Kitty guitar) from about a month back, when we discovered it after game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final. If not, get acquainted with it: it may be the most photoshoppable photo of all time. Heck, we’ve already had two full galleries of The Many Axes of Cory Schneider, and I’m still not satisfied that we’ve exhausted all the possibilities. By the end of the second gallery, the guitar angle had been relatively exhausted, but it was beginning to become apparent how perfectly Schneider was posed to handle a litany of different instruments. Keytar. Banjolin. Giant sub.
That in mind, I decided it was time to get all mavericky with the meme. And so, without further ado, I present a very special part III in the many axes of Cory Schneider series.
Here’s Schneider jamming out a badass fiddle solo. Just out of frame, both the devil and Charlie Daniels are sitting there, slack-jawed, especially since it’s the fiddle solo from Taylor Swift’s Our Song.
Here he is as a master percussionist, rocking out on a djembe with a couple congas nearby. You probably didn’t know this but, prior to games, the Canucks go out onto the ice in full uniform for a freeform jam and round of Killer Hacky.
Here’s Schneider playing the upright bass as part of the Canucks’ jazz trio, which features Jannik Hansen on a baby grand and Chris Higgins on the skins. They’re playing Embraceable You.
Here’s Schneider pumping his lungs into the tuba. Obviously, he’s second chair. That said, there’s a rumour going around that the first chair has trouble on big stages.
Here’s Schneider playing a harp, but not just any harp. This, my friends, is an acoustic double harp. Yeah. Joanna Newsom’s got nothing on Cory Schneider. I guarantee you he’s nowhere near as nasally when he sings, either.
Like pop culture treasures Steve Urkel and Weird Al Yankovic, Cory Schneider plays a mean accordion. Here’s Schneider leading the Boston crowd in a rousing rendition of the polka shuffle on a Hohner.
You probably already knew that Cory Schneider’s pretty decent in front of a microphone, but you probably didn’t know why. It’s because he’s the lead singer of Tower of Power.
And finally, here’s Schneider playing a medieval dulcimer, because he’s totally cultured like that.Tags: Cory Schneider, cory schneider rocks the dulcimer, cory schneider's git-box, offseason blues, photoshop, the many axes of Cory Schneider