Some of you may remember the above photo of Cory Schneider (minus the Hello Kitty guitar) from about a month back, when we discovered it after game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final. If not, get acquainted with it: it may be the most photoshoppable photo of all time. Heck, we’ve already had two full galleries of The Many Axes of Cory Schneider, and I’m still not satisfied that we’ve exhausted all the possibilities. By the end of the second gallery, the guitar angle had been relatively exhausted, but it was beginning to become apparent how perfectly Schneider was posed to handle a litany of different instruments. Keytar. Banjolin. Giant sub.

That in mind, I decided it was time to get all mavericky with the meme. And so, without further ado, I present a very special part III in the many axes of Cory Schneider series.

 

Here’s Schneider jamming out a badass fiddle solo. Just out of frame, both the devil and Charlie Daniels are sitting there, slack-jawed, especially since it’s the fiddle solo from Taylor Swift’s Our Song.

Here he is as a master percussionist, rocking out on a djembe with a couple congas nearby. You probably didn’t know this but, prior to games, the Canucks go out onto the ice in full uniform for a freeform jam and round of Killer Hacky.

Here’s Schneider playing the upright bass as part of the Canucks’ jazz trio, which features Jannik Hansen on a baby grand and Chris Higgins on the skins. They’re playing Embraceable You.

Here’s Schneider pumping his lungs into the tuba. Obviously, he’s second chair. That said, there’s a rumour going around that the first chair has trouble on big stages.

Here’s Schneider playing a harp, but not just any harp. This, my friends, is an acoustic double harp. Yeah. Joanna Newsom’s got nothing on Cory Schneider. I guarantee you he’s nowhere near as nasally when he sings, either. 

Like pop culture treasures Steve Urkel and Weird Al Yankovic, Cory Schneider plays a mean accordion. Here’s Schneider leading the Boston crowd in a rousing rendition of the polka shuffle on a Hohner.

You probably already knew that Cory Schneider’s pretty decent in front of a microphone, but you probably didn’t know why. It’s because he’s the lead singer of Tower of Power.

And finally, here’s Schneider playing a medieval dulcimer, because he’s totally cultured like that.

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6 comments

  1. Schneider's Teeth
    July 15, 2011

    If you look at the microphone one for a while, you notice that the perspective is totally wrong and that the picture is actually a convolution of two parallel dimensions. It’s incredible that Cory Schneider is able to manipulate space and time in such a way. Can Roberto Luongo do that?

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    • Harrison Mooney
      July 15, 2011

      All right, it’s not a very good photoshop. But how long were you looking at it, anyway? I’m not the problem. You are.

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    • WEYGANDT
      July 16, 2011

      I’m inclined to agree. Roberto Luongo’s space and time manipulation is weak. He should be traded post haste.

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  2. LCad
    July 15, 2011

    “That said, there’s a rumour going around that the first chair has trouble on big stages.”

    Ha!

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  3. mongo
    July 17, 2011

    nothing on the development camp?

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    • Harrison Mooney
      July 17, 2011

      What’s to report? They worked out, did some dragon boat races, and hiked the Grouse Grind. You’re not going to learn much about any of the prospects from that stuff. No real comedy to mine either. No real controversies either, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT CODY HODGSON WASN’T THERE. #CodyHodgsonControversies

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