The NHL Awards are tonight and it’s an exciting time for Canucks fans as Daniel Sedin, Ryan Kesler, Roberto Luongo, Alain Vigneault, and Mike Gillis are all up for awards. It’s a fun time when all the hockey players dress up in fancy suits and take awkward red carpet photographs. Personally, I’d love to tune in and enjoy the show, but since Jay Mohr is hosting it, I won’t. I won’t enjoy it, so I won’t tune in. I know I will just get angry that they brought back the painfully unfunny Mohr for a second time hosting, when it appears that he doesn’t know anything about hockey. I’m sure he’s a nice enough guy (actually, I’m not sure of that at all, but I’ll assume), but it’s awkward hearing someone tell jokes about hockey when it seems like he doesn’t actually understand the jokes. Also, he’s terrible.
Did they ask anyone else to do it? Could they not think of anyone else to ask? Because I can think of a few people who would be better than Jay Mohr. Here are 10 better options:
Pros: He’s a legitimate hockey fan (with a ratty hat to prove it) and looks good in a suit. We know he can be classy and his stints hosting SNL have shown he has a remarkable aptitude for humor as well.
Cons: May bust into a spontaneous shirtless saxophone solo.
Pros: Actually plays hockey and is a longtime Philadelphia Flyers fan, though we won’t hold that against him. He has increased hockey’s profile in the public eye through his role as Federal Agent Seeley Booth on “Bones,” who is likewise a Flyers fan and an enforcer on the ice. He knows his way around comedy and, like Jon Hamm, looks good in a suit.
Cons: He’s a Philadelphia Flyers fan. Okay, I lied, we will hold that against him.
Pros: He is a crazed hockey fan and even has his own backyard rink. He knows hockey, he’s funny, and wonderfully irreverent. It would be delightful to hear Leary rant about the state of the game.
Cons: Since he’s a massive Boston Bruins fan and an admitted ***hole, he’d spend the entire ceremony rubbing everyone’s faces in the Bruins’ Stanley Cup victory. Ugh.
Pros: He is about as visible a hockey fan as you can get, sitting front row in Chicago like he’s Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game. Also, we’d be all but guaranteed to get at least one “I’m gonna make Wayne Gretzky’s head bleed” joke.
Cons: On his own, he’s just not that funny. As a supporting character, he’s fine, so if it was a co-host situation where he had someone to play off of, it could work. Also, he doesn’t look good in a suit.
Pros: Incredibly dedicated Toronto Maple Leafs fan.
Cons: Showed his dedication by making “The Love Guru.”
Pros: He played hockey all the way through college and apparently still plays in a men’s league. He’s also a pretty hilarious guy. He’s even shown a capability to combine hockey and comedy in the past. His self-effacing humor and general nice guy attitude would be thoroughly refreshing.
Cons: There are no cons. Steve Carell is amazing. Why would there be a con?
Pros: She is blatantly biased towards the Canucks, How I Met Your Mother is huge, she’s funny, and she looks good in a suit. It would also be awesome to see a woman host the NHL Awards because we’re less likely to hear jokes about hockey players playing like girls.
Cons: Mason Raymond won’t be there.
Pros: He’s not Jay Mohr.
Cons: He’s Matthew Perry.
Pros: A fan of old-time hockey and the co-writer and co-star of the upcoming hockey movie, “Goon,” Baruchel’s hockey cred is legit. He’s also a quirky guy with an oddball sense of humor, which would be a nice switch from, y’know, the not-humor-at-all of Jay Mohr.
Cons: He might be a little too weird for the NHL. Maybe.
Pros: He knows a thing or eight about hosting an awards show.
Cons: His only contact with hockey was “The Tooth Fairy.”
Tags: Alain Vigneault, Daniel, Daniel Sedin, featured, Jay Mohr, Kesler, Luongo, Mike Gillis, NHL Awards, We Should Win ALL of the Awards