Game Three of the Stanley Cup Final was a debacle. That’s an unassailable fact. After a hard-fought first period where the Canucks were arguably the better team, they imploded in the second period, right around the time Alex Edler’s stick exploded. It was painful. It was ugly. It was embarrassing.
But it could have been worse. So, in honor of the 8 goals that the Bruins scored on Monday, here are 8 ways that everything could have been even more embarrassing than it already was.
1. Mason Raymond’s dad could have insisted on dropping him off right in front of the arena in his ’95 Buick Roadmaster instead of just down the block.
2. The Canucks could have come out of the first intermission with their skate guards still on, pratfalling all over the place.
3. The crew at TD Gardens could have accented every attempted Canucks shot or hit with a comical “boing,” “doink,” or “awooga!” sound effect.
4. Mark Wahlberg and Tie Domi could have shown up to the game in the same outfit. Talk about awkward…
5. While verbally taunting Milan Lucic, Alex Burrows could have accidentally referred to him as “Mom.”
6. Instead of just getting beat on Brad Marchand’s shorthanded goal, Ryan Kesler’s hockey pants could have fallen down, tripping him and revealing to everyone that he was wearing pink polka-dot boxers.
7. The Kiss Cam could have landed on Shawn Thornton and Henrik Sedin just as Thornton was calling him a “cussing homo.”
8. Boston could have scored 9 goals. Can you imagine? After 9 goals, I definitely would have pulled Luongo.
Tags: Blogs are for lists, Bruins, Canucks, It could have been worse, Questionable Comedic Content, Stanley Cup Final