Kevin Bieksa’s double overtime winner put the Vancouver Canucks into Stanley Cup Finals for the only the third time in their history. It was a momentous occasion, and there was little for Vancouverites to complain about. the  That said, there was one minor issue: the confetti.

As soon as the Canucks scored the winner, flakes of coloured paper began raining down from the ceiling. It looked really nice until it landed on the ice, creating a mess that jammed up the players’ skates, looked horrible to clean up, and would have made it impossible to continue the game had the goal been waved off, like some initially suspected it might.

That said, it could have been much worse. Through much investigative journalism, hacking, and espionage, PITB has acquired a list of 50 items suggested and eventually rejected by Rogers Arena event staff before they settled on confetti. One perusal of this list tells you things could have been much, much worse.

———————————-

  1. Bees.
  2. Darts.
  3. Orcas.
  4. Rain.
  5. Boiling rain.
  6. Purple Rain.
  7. Hot coals.
  8. Human feet.
  9. Banana peels. Ed. note: too many pratfalls.
  10. Steve Nash, waving a towel and spilling his beer.
  11. Eggs.
  12. The fans. Ed. note: Ejection seats probably too expensive to install.
  13. Razor confetti.
  14. Plague mice.
  15. Cans of silly string. Ed. note: Not silly string. Cans of silly string.
  16. Hockey pucks.
  17. Bras. Ed. note: Glad this was rejected. Without Jeff Cowan, it just wouldn’t feel right.
  18. Counterfeit green men. Ed. note: Not as bad an idea when you realize they might be hurt.
  19. BC Place retractable roof money.
  20. Leftover Mukmuk plushies.
  21. Pigeons. And rice.
  22. Men.
  23. Lit fireworks.
  24. Bunnies doin’ it.
  25. Pepper.
  26. Beards.
  27. Handguns. Ed. note: Registered, hopefully.
  28. Canadian tire money.
  29. Rose petals. Ed. note: Good call. Too romantic.
  30. iPads.
  31. Pies.
  32. Tiny American flags. Ed. note: probably NBC’s idea.
  33. Baby powder.
  34. Gobstoppers.
  35. An elephant. Ed. note: Hmm. No parachute?
  36. Marijuana cigarettes.
  37. Mason Raymond’s chipped teeth.
  38. Bavaria beer girls.
  39. Kitschy fridge magnets.
  40. Stem cells. Ed. note: Yeah, too controversial.
  41. Glitter.
  42. Free condoms. Ed. note: Probably not the right time to promote safe sex.
  43. Five alarm chili.
  44. Ponchos.
  45. Radiation.
  46. Leaky glow sticks.
  47. Rubber balls. Ed. note: It’s been done.
  48. Cacti. Ed. note: Even worse? Potted cacti.
  49. Signed, framed photographs of prime minister Stephen Harper.
  50. Bloggers.

 

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22 comments

  1. Timmy Wong
    May 25, 2011

    How about dollar bills from Kovalchuk’s contract?

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  2. Dirty Dangle
    May 25, 2011

    #42 Free condoms. Ed. note: Probably not the right time to promote safe sex.

    Definitely the right time with all the celebrating going on! There’s going to be a lot of kids named “Kevin” being born next February.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      May 25, 2011

      Heh. Totally.

      Kevin: Hey mom, when did you meet Dad?
      Mom: May 24, 2011. Your father saw me sitting on a stranger’s shoulders, flashing the crowd at the corner of Robson and Granville. We knew it was love.

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  3. beninvictoria
    May 25, 2011

    Flubber?

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    • Harrison Mooney
      May 25, 2011

      Ha, yes.

      Gelato could be fun, too.

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  4. Mary
    May 25, 2011

    Bears!

    That, or free pucks to make it easier for the Sharks (and some broadcasters) to find the puck…any puck.

    Yeah, that last bit was pretty bad. I did enjoy the list though. :)

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  5. SteveB
    May 25, 2011

    Big Daddy Pratt’s leather pants.

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  6. Kari
    May 25, 2011

    Chocolate rain didn’t make the list? :(

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  7. Anonymous
    May 25, 2011

    “Mason Raymond’s chipped teeth.”

    haha perfect

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  8. annie
    May 25, 2011

    All the letters from “Thomas Gradin.” The practice run during that Habs game was unsuccessful.

    Also, referees’ whistles. Andrew Alberts would have come flying right out of the pressbox.

    (I love this list.)

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  9. James W
    May 26, 2011

    Vanilla.

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  10. jimbob
    May 26, 2011

    love this post.. but seriously how did you miss salmon?

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  11. PetriSkriko
    May 26, 2011

    Who is this “Ed”?

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  12. PetriSkriko
    May 26, 2011

    Biblical frogs. With tiny bibles.

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    • PetriSkriko
      May 26, 2011

      Raffi Torres howler monkeys.

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    • PetriSkriko
      May 26, 2011

      Unemployed Emily Carr grads.

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  13. ricardinho
    May 26, 2011

    thousands of mukmuks would be awesome

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  14. PeeCeeGee
    May 26, 2011

    No-one suggested Ryane Clowe’s additional vowels?

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  15. sudz
    May 26, 2011

    you bc people are weird…don’t know where yer comin from on the comments

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  16. pshore
    May 26, 2011

    bees:

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  17. Professional Athletes David
    June 7, 2011

    Love this post too. You are really a good observer. Despite the celebration and happiness in the event, you still noticed the problem on how to clean up the mess with all those confetti scattered the ice,hehe

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