By now, you’ve probably heard of Twitter Needs Juice, PITB’s campaign to get Kevin Bieksa on Twitter. Kevin Bieksa certainly has. On Tuesday afternoon, he took the time to comment on it. Twitter may need Juice, but it would appear that Juice does not need Twitter. From Dhiren Mahiban at NHL.com:

There will be no tweeting from ‘Juice’ — at least not anytime soon.

An online petition or ‘Twitition’ to get Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa, who is known to his teammates as ‘Juice’, on the popular social networking site Twitter is currently circulating on Twitition.com.

As of 3:30 p.m. PT, the Twitition had 383 signatures. However, those may be 383 disappointed Canucks fans as Bieksa told the media on Tuesday afternoon he has no plans on joining.

383 signatures? That’s pathetic. But I’ll have you know that number has ballooned to a much more respectable 404.

Okay, that’s pretty embarrassing too. Seriously, sign the Twitition. This is supposed to be an international movement. I mean, look at this photo. Old Glory waves for Juice, and he’s not even American.

This is supposed to be as momentous as Harvey Dent’s bid for district attorney, but 383 signatures makes the whole thing come off like a PTA campaign to ban pizza day. You guys: Kevin Bieksa is laughing at us.

“There’s a petition?” he said, laughing.

STOP LAUGHING AT US

“I’m not really a Twitter kind of guy. I don’t think everybody needs to know every single thought that’s in my head.”

See, Kevin is confusing needs with wants. You’re right. We don’t need to know every single thought that’s in your head. We want to. You haven’t figured that out by now? Seriously, you play for the Vancouver Canucks. One time, you sat motionless in the penalty box and it was news. And allow me to point out the following irony: everything you say gets Tweeted by someone else anyway. You’re already a Twitter kind of guy.

Ryan Kesler is the only current Canuck on Twitter (@Ryan_Kesler) – he was helped by 2K Sports as he is the cover boy for their NHL 2K11 video game — but he won’t be helping his teammate get on the social networking, too.“No he’s not a tweeter,” said Kesler, who currently has 39, 913 followers.

Canucks GM Mike Gillis is also on Twitter (@GMMikeGillis), but he is aided by the Canucks PR staff.

Well, no wonder Kevin Bieksa’s not on Twitter. He’s getting his Twitter info from Ryan Kesler and Mike Gillis. Gillis’s account is so stuffy you can smell the tweed from the Internet, and Kesler’s is basically an ad-bot. He started his account last November to help promote his clothing line and video game. He’s tweeted 85 times. There’s not a lot going on there. 40,000 followers aside, Kesler’s not exactly a tweeter either.

How is it that Kes and MG are the only guys in the Canuck organization on Twitter? This is a major issue.

Hey, did someone say major issue? Cue Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis, who is always looking for ways to make the world a better place.

Dan Hamhuis, who often keeps to him self, felt the need to jump into the debate on Tuesday, which drew laughter from all in attendance.

“I currently don’t tweet,” he said. “I’m not too aware of what’s going on there, but it sounds interesting. What’s the proposal?”

Perhaps Canucks fans are targeting their Twitition at the wrong blue liner.

GO AWAY DAN HAMHUIS

Anyway, I’ve seen a  lot pf people declare this the end of the Twitter Needs Juice campaign, but that’s silly. It’s only been going a week and he’s already had to address it. That’s progress. Again, I encourage the creation of campaign art, photoshops, and pleas written in verse. Twitter needs Juice.