With last night’s stunning comeback victory, the Detroit Red Wings have forced a game seven in their series with the San Jose Sharks. This means that the Canucks won’t know who their Western Conference Final opponent is until

Thursday night.

But who would they prefer to face? PITB takes a look at their two potential opponents, weighing the pros and cons for each, in another segment of This Guy or This Guy.

 

[ SJS ] or [ DET ]

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[ SJS ] – While getting the puck from the Red Wings can be a chore, San Jose leads the postseason in giveaways.

[DET] – They also generate a lot of takeaways, such as when they acquired Dany Heatley, Joe Thornton, and Dan Boyle for next to nothing. Ryan Kesler could be playing for them by the end of the series.

[DET] – The Sharks are a much bigger team.

[ SJS ] – Bigger does not always mean stronger. For instance, rumour has it that Patrick Marleau is completely hollow.

[DET] – The Sharks have four Olympic gold medalists and an Art Ross winner.

[ SJS ] – The Canucks have four Olympic gold medalists and two Art Ross winners. Instant win.

[DET] – When it comes to regular season and Olympic accomplishments, however, Detroit’s roster simply doesn’t measure up.

[ SJS ] – Detroit has a bit playoff experience, though.

[ SJS ] – Detroit scores when it counts.

[DET] – Detroit counts their age in scores.

[ SJS ] – Detroit has the heart of a champion.

[DET] – It’s an artificial pacemaker.

[ SJS ] – Detroit has Nicklas Lidstrom, perhaps the greatest defenseman of his generation.

[DET] – And the last two generations. If you read the right spell from the Book of the Dead, he may return to his sarcophagus.

[DET] – Did I mention Detroit is old and enfeebled? They may wear down as the series goes along.

[ SJS ] – The older they look, the more often Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis may find himself continually out of position as he tries to help them cross the neutral zone.

[ SJS ] – San Jose recently frittered away a 3-0 series lead. They clearly lack killer instinct.

[DET] – So did the Canucks. A Vancouver-San Jose series would be so devoid of killer instinct, it could go on for nine games.

[ SJS ] – The San Jose Sharks have a reputation as chronic chokers. A little adversity and they may crumble.

[DET] – If the Sharks begin to choke, Dan Hamhuis may take a lot of holding penalties as he tries to clear the blocked airway with abdominal thrusts.

[ SJS ] – For as good as Ryan Kesler’s been, Pavel Datsyuk’s been almost as good.

[DET] – Unlike the Sharks, the Canucks might try to defend him.

[ SJS ] – Detroit’s Pavel Datsyuk has gotten the best of Ryan Kesler in consecutive years.

[DET] – None of the games will be played in Las Vegas.

[ SJS ] – The Red Wings have a history of winning.

[DET] – So does Charlie Sheen. A meltdown may be imminent.

[DET] – Detroit has a Swedish captain. He can’t possibly lead his team to a Stanley Cup.

[ SJS ] – Wait, he already did once? Then the secret to winning a cup is having a Swedish captain. Vancouver 1, San Jose 0.

[DET] – Detroit forward and former Canuck Todd Bertuzzi hasn’t been the same since he broke the neck of Steve Moore.

[ SJS ] – San Jose forward and former Canuck Kyle Wellwood hasn’t been the same since he broke the spine of his limited edition, hardcover copy of Hitchiker’s Guide.

[ SJS ] – Detroit coach Mike Babcock has been to the Stanley Cup finals three times in seven seasons.

[DET] – But he’s never won a Jack Adams. He must be terrible.

[DET] – San Jose’s goaltender, Antti Niemi, won the Stanley Cup last year.

[ SJS ] – Chicago didn’t care. Vancouver probably shouldn’t either.

[ SJS ] – Detroit has shown a startling penchant for tying up games in the third period, something the Canucks have had trouble preventing in the second round.

[DET] – Detroit tends to shoot from in front of the net, where Roberto Luongo is better at making the save.

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16 comments

  1. antro
    May 11, 2011

    “Detroit tends to shoot from in front of the net, where Roberto Luongo is better at making the save.”

    Fantastic.

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  2. Morgan
    May 11, 2011

    Genius. Pure Genius. Great work as always PITB!

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  3. from the flock
    May 11, 2011

    It doesn’t matter whom we play,
    Detroit Redwings or San Jose.
    For neither team has what it takes,
    Unless they get some Nashville breaks.

    Should Bobby Lou be at his best,
    The Nucks will represent the West.

    Jenny Wren

    Although they’re not the Habs of old
    When Guy Lafleur the wing patrolled
    You know back when the greats did play
    Like Bobby Clarke and Cournoyer

    But still they are with talent blessed
    The Nucks will represent the West.

    Olde Coot

    If at the Joe or in the Tank,
    We’ll see the skills of Hank and Dank,
    And Kessler will continue to
    Do all the things that he can do.

    Throughout the year they played with zest;
    The Nucks will represent the West.

    Chicken Chick

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  4. John Andress
    May 11, 2011

    I’ll take Detroit please. The Red Wing organization has, for years now, been the gold standard by which good teams measure themselves and, if I am not mistaken, provide the blueprint by which GM Mike Gillis is constructing this Canucks team. If we are going to win our first Stanley Cup (and I hope we are), let’s beat the very best to do it.

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    • vancityt
      May 11, 2011

      Those Canucks-haters won’t shut about our right to be in the playoffs unless we do. And if the Canucks do win against the Red Wings, the haters will have to slag Detroit in the process. And you know that’d just kill them. Don’t we have a slightly better history against Detroit anyway?

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  5. Anitha
    May 11, 2011

    [SJS ] – Detroit has Nicklas Lidstrom, perhaps the greatest defenseman of his generation.

    [DET] – And the last two generations. If you read the right spell from the Book of the Dead, he may return to his sarcophagus.

    [DET] – Did I mention Detroit is old and enfeebled? They may wear down as the series goes along.

    [ SJS ] – The older they look, the more often Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis may find himself continually out of position as he tries to help them cross the neutral zone.

    You guys are AWESOME! haha
    I’m not sure if I care about wich team is easily, I just want to know who we’re gonna face soon…

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  6. Pepe Silvia
    May 11, 2011

    Both match-ups are equally unpalatable. That’s all I could come up with. This is uncharted territory for me as I was but a small town boy with a pocketful of dreams the last time we made it to the WCF. For that reason there is a part of me that just wants the easiest match-up possible. But looking at how close the SJS/DET series has been and how wildly momentum has shifted-as it did in our series with CHI-the only clear answer is that there IS no easy road* to the cup.

    So having said that, I’m with John. We go big or we go home. Detroit.

    *Unless ex-military Canuck fanatics form roving hit squads and create a Sniper’s Alley on the way to Rogers Arena.

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  7. beninvictoria
    May 11, 2011

    I think you guys are clearly forgetting the Mascot factor here. Fin is a whale and fight between him(it?) and the Sharks mascot, “Sharkie” I presume?, would clearly end in a stalemate due to equal amounts of aquatic prowess. Detroit’s mascot is an octopus though, which whales eat for breakfast.
    Can’t wait to see the Eastern Conference Final either, as a Bear will be attempting to fight Lightning……

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    • Nuckling
      May 11, 2011

      “Killer whales are regarded as apex predators, lacking natural predators and preying on even large sharks.” – first paragraph of the wikipedia article on orcas.

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      • beninvictoria
        May 12, 2011

        cause wikipedia is a reliable source…. you ever been at sea boy?

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        • Pepe Silvia
          May 12, 2011

          Allow me to blow your mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS6NjdGLVZs

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          • beninvictoria
            May 12, 2011

            UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH MY MIIIIIIIIIND. THE ALLITERATION!!!!!!

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  8. clueless
    May 11, 2011

    I absolutely adore this feature. You guys must do more of these! :)

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    • beninvictoria
      May 11, 2011

      i agree, someone should tell the Canucks to win their next series :)

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  9. Justin
    May 11, 2011

    lolol soo funny

    but in all seriousness. I’d take our chances against the Sharks. The Wings making a 3 game come back to force a game 7 is proof enough that they’re finding their swagger back that they lost in games 1- 3…Jimmy Howard’s looking bigger in net, Lidstrom’s found the fountain of youth before Capt. Jack Sparrow, Datsyuk has turned on his Russian equivalent of Superman genes, and Zetterberg’s beard is almost as imposing as Shea Weber’s (not that it helped Nashville, but hey it’s the thought that counts!)

    Sharks on the other hand…are living up to their lack of killer instinct reputation, Niemi still hasn’t proven to me that he’s a goalie capable of winning Stanley Cups without an all-star crew in front of him, Thornton, Marleau and Heatley are once again lacking in the post-season production…(Ryan Clowe is team leading in points in the post-season…are you for serious?)..and not to mention their only player who clutches up in times of need is their rookie, Logan Couture.

    all in all, it’s harder for Vancouver to shut down Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Filppula, Holmstrom, Franzen(?), Bertuzzi…and the defensive game of Lidstrom, Kronwall, Rafalski is annoying

    whereas with SJ….Marleau, Thornton, Heatley, Clowe, Couture are easier to beat down, long as our boys keep throwing them hits…and Dan Boyle is due for a goal on net soon…his OWN net that is ;D

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    • Harrison Mooney
      May 12, 2011

      This is the tale! Of Captain Jack Sparrow!

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