It has come to my attention that friend of Pass it to Bulis and all-around nice guy Tanner Glass has become the target of entirely fictional slander from our friendly competition hated rivals, The Kurtenblog. In their humorous and good-natured article reprehensible attack piece, they claim that Tanner Glass is a cancer in the dressing room, has a me-first attitude, has connections to Somali pirates, and once drove a bus through the window of a Burger King.

LIES! LIES AND DECEIT!

Clearly, the Kurtenblog has been misinformed by themselves, as their accusations are entirely off-base. Fortunately, I am full of forgiveness, as I suspect they have just misheard or misunderstood these claims about Tanner Glass. For example:

  • Tanner Glass is not a cancer in the dressing room. Actually, he is hiding the cure for cancer in the Canucks’ dressing room. Easy mistake to make.
  • Tanner Glass does not have a me-first attitude. What he has is a knee-first attitude, and always attempts to take out his opponents knees. Little known Tru Fakt: Tanner’s first coach in College was Ulf Samuelsson.
  • Tanner Glass does not have connections to Somali Pirates. Instead, he pirates music, but only music by Somali musicians, ensuring that they cannot profit from their art.
  • Tanner Glass never drove a bus through the window of a Burger King. It was a soup kitchen.

Kurtenblog, I shall expect a prompt apology to the morally upright Tanner Glass forthwith.

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6 comments

  1. Gordie T.
    May 9, 2011

    I donno. I heard Tanner Glass framed Calvin for the noodle incident.

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  2. J21
    May 9, 2011

    Heh… in all seriousness, it looks like he’s still hurting a bit and hasn’t been very effective with or without the puck. I really don’t understand why Vigneault won’t play Oreskovich in his stead — he’s done absolutely everything asked of him.

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  3. By-Tor
    May 9, 2011

    Glass drove a bus through a soup kitchen window? I hope Hamhuis wasn’t inside!

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    • Steve Lockhart
      May 9, 2011

      Lol, good one.

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    • kim r
      May 10, 2011

      He was aiming for Hamhuis.

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  4. PeeCeeGee
    May 10, 2011

    This is awesome, I have been waiting for this war!

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