“We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the 2010-11 Chicago Blackhawks. We will be cremating the team, then sprinkling the ashes around the NHL, just like Stan Bowman did after they won the Stanley Cup nine months ago.”
This is the opening line of Puck Daddy’s Chicago Blackhawks playoff eulogy, an annual series of posts wherein editor Greg Wyshynski recruits bloggers from enemy teams to write the eulogy for the fallen. We were honoured to be asked to write this year’s Chicago postmortem.
If, like us, you dislike the Chicago Blackhawks and like seeing somebody make fun of them, this eulogy is probably right up your alley. And if, say, you’re a Blackhawks fan that trolls this blog with poetry, I suggest you run on over to Puck Daddy and see what we did.
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antro
April 28, 2011Well done!! The bitter Hawks fans’ replies speak for themselves. Some were simply classic. But a lot of Hawks fans respectfully tipped their hats as well.
I think my favourite was “Fine, fine. Have your fun, but I must object to one thing. Vince Vaughn has never given a strong comedic performance!”
You guys also got a lot of points from the nerdy high brow crowd.
Carykid
April 28, 2011Well I must say that the rumours about people having big heads out West is so true!
How can you actually be proud of a team that was 1st seed playing an 8th seed team running up a 3 game advantage over the Hawks and the only by bad refs and a lucky snatch and drop goal in game 7 OT?
Vancouver were very lucky…and I think if you actually sat down and thought about it you would actually agree!
It is too bad also that a Canadian team doesn’t have half the Canadian players as Chicago does.
Your cry baby Sundins did nothing to help also,They are on there way back to the Motherland once Vancouver is eliminated!
Instead of being proud count your blessings,keep your head low maybe nobody will notice.
Be happy with your conference cup,that is the only cup Vancouver will see this year! They have 40 years under the belt they should be getting at least close to a cup ! Maybe a few more years but they will get it at one time hopefully! Best of luck , because that is all they have going for them!
sunedit
April 28, 2011It’s funny how non-Vancouverites prattle on about how the ’1st seed beating the 8th barely’ should make Vancouverites not proud.
Remind me, who are the Stanley Cup champions again? Chicago Blackhawks? Really? Is that right? The 8th seed team are the Cup champs?
Weird!
antro
April 28, 2011First of all, Carykid, I live in the East. So I’m a big headed easterner. Second, I read a lot of stats blogs, and therefore I know that luck is always involved in winning. For example, if you cruise on over to behindthenethockey.com, and look at their analysis of regular season possession statistics (Corsi or Fenwick), Chicago was the second best regular season team (after Vancouver). The fact that they were only a 8th seed is purely a function of bad luck, probably the bad goaltending at the beginning of the season, until Crawford took over. Even after Chicago lost a lot of their depth players over last summer, they were still a formidable team this season. Just weren’t getting the bounces.
Third, if you look at possession at even strength, score tied, or else scoring chances (go to coppernblue.com, where they hate the canucks), the Canucks were the better team over the course of the series. By scoring chances, they actually dominated 4 of the 7 games, but lost one they dominated (game 6) and won one where Chicago dominated early on (game 3). So, although there is always some luck involved in winning, they Canucks were full value over one of the best teams in the league.
Mikita's Helmet
April 28, 2011Carykid’s response is hidden due to the Cascmuck’s fans not wanting to hear the truth. Like Richard Conte said in THE BIG COMBO: “First is first and second is nothing.” Till they win the Cup – ha ha ha, like that’ll ever happen – THEY ARE NOTHIN’!
Sanstanya
April 29, 2011you are a ruthless spoil=sport adn sore loser.
I will play the Obi-Wan Kenobi card and say what you say about the Cnaucks being “lucky” is true…from a certain point of view. But it is equally (if not more) true to say the Hawks were lucky to be in a game 7. They reached this game only bevcause the other team did not bother to play games 4 and 5 and were then unable to compensate for the terrible reffing in game 6 (despite drastically outplaying Chicago) that ammasseed a minimum of 5 brutal non-calls in Chicago’s favour. Converserly, the terrible reffing you refer to in game 7 was responsible for multiple non-calls and weak calls in favour of both teams. So I fail to see your point, semingly because it is simply non-existent.
I cant bother to engage in most of the rest, but I might as well make 1 last counter of fact to your fiction: the Sedins doing “nothing” included Daniele scoring 5 goals – more than any one else in round 1 except Teemu Selanne with 6. Shall we review the goal-scoring stats of Chicago’s top stars now for contrast? Seems unnecessary, doesn’t it?
Pepe Silvia
April 28, 2011Great work guys. I’ve been reading puck daddy for a couple of years now (which is how I found my way here earlier this year) and I can honestly say that is one of the best eulogies I’ve read. I especially enjoyed that second paragraph/epically long sentence.
Keep up the great work, here’s hoping you guys get the callback for a few more
.
PeeCeeGee
April 28, 2011I love the comments on Puck Daddy… it’s like some people have never read the blog before.
justin
April 28, 2011Hey Guys,
Just wanted to second Pepe Silvia’s comments…. (I’ve been reading Puck Daddy for a few seasons now, and found PITB through it this year).
Great work on the Eulogy, and congrats on the increased coverage you are getting these days. Your writing style & humour keeps your blogs interesting and your resistance to homerism keeps you refreshing and credible (I’m looking at you, *Province Sports*).
I think you have found a great niche… Keep it coming!
jenny wren
April 28, 2011Requiem For A Hockey Fan
(A poem I need not have written,
For with the Nucks again I’m smitten)
Three seasons of the same refrain,
So thus it is I must maintain
That some may never care again.
I can explain in one quatrain:
Chicago the Canucks outplayed.
Vancouver fans remain dismayed,
As by their team they’ve been betrayed,
And you know whom they’d love to trade.
I will not watch another game,
For it shall ever be the same,
And I’d have but myself to blame,
If wasting time to share their shame.
And if again I get the urge,
Remind me of this little dirge.
Jenny Wren
Jusitn
April 28, 2011ahahaha best!! after reading the eulogy, and the comments aimed at it afterward, you’d think Chicago fans would have some shred of class left in them to at least, take a joke.
but apparently not..they say you talk trash to them, when all the eulogy was saying was how the team wasn’t the same team that won the Cup last year because of the poor choices in signing contracts…
all in all, great job *thumbs up* love your blog and I follow it daily =D
Harrison Mooney
April 28, 2011Yeah, I thought we were actually pretty nice, for what amounted to a roast. But hockey fans are a sensitive tribe.
JW
April 28, 2011A guest post from yourselves? Well played. Outstanding as usual.
chicken chick
April 28, 2011Why did you stoop to eulogize
When there was need to sympathize?
Your having known the losing end,
How cheap of you to condescend
To now deride the team you beat.
‘Tis spiteful unconcerned conceit!
Your crass contempt is without class -
You’re just another horse’s ….
Nucks could have lost you understand.
Ergo this need to reprimand
Your making fun of the poor Hawks
With callous clever little mocks.
And just to set the record straight,
In truth I thought your blog was great!!!!
Chicken Chick
Orwell21
April 28, 2011I think this was an attempt at humor, but it really was not funny. I mean the fact is one of two things has to occur if you are a Vancouver fan. Either you admit your team is mentally fragile and not that good and thus took 7 games to beat a depleted Hawks team, or….the Hawks with their youth and pieced together roster are actually better than you thought.
I also remind you Vancouver fans that you have still have yet to win ANYTHING. Puff your chest our when you hoist the Cup, until then all you have done is beat an 8th seed, a team that was a shell of itself. In fact, I would guess if these two teams meet next year…the Hawks win.
BTW…being Greek and related to the guy put the Goat curse on the Cubs….well, let’s just say I have extended the same courtesy to the Canucks!
Daniel Wagner
April 28, 2011You started out this comment saying that the humor wasn’t funny. Instead of providing evidence for this claim, you went off on a tangent about the Canucks not winning the Cup yet. The two items are entirely unrelated. I’m confused: what’s your point?
Harrison Mooney
April 28, 2011Thanks for dropping by, Mr. Grumpypants.
Gabrielle
April 28, 2011LOL those comments are hilarious. One guy said, “You’re just trying to make yourselves feel better.” I think we probably feel pretty good after beating the Blackhawks!! I could say the same to you…
Mikita's Helmet
April 28, 2011The Hawks didn’t deserves to make the playoffs, yet they took the Nucks sorry arses to OT in game 7. Nucks think they just won the Cup, which they’ll never win. Preds in 6.
Mikita's Helmet
April 29, 2011Sure, just show the post that reinforce your crybaby legacy. Roger waiving the white towel, Gillis crying to the media about refereeing. Face it, in victory or defeat, the Caschmucks are whiners. They”ll never win the Cup.
sunedit
April 29, 2011Your comments are hidden because they contravene directive 10.78a.
Towit: Don’t be lame.
Mikita's Helmet
April 30, 2011directive 10.78a is unconstitutional ya hoser, eh?
Nice Move
May 1, 2011As a life-long — and forever — Blackhawks fan, I couldn’t help but remember standing in the rafters of “The Old Barn” called Chicago Stadium and watching “King” Richard Brodeur’s incredible feat of ousting what was the best Blackhawks team since Hull and Mikita’s early years lose to a miracle of a goalie,
At the local rink where I played there was a pretty good team called “The Henchmen” that wore the Canucks jersey with the axe on the front. They had a couple of guys that had NHL tryouts and one that even played with Bobby Hull while in the WHA. I was nowhere near as good as them and after the Hawks lost to Brodeur really, I hated them. Just becasue they wore a Canucks jersey — like Brodeur. It wasn’t the same jersey, but it didn’t matter — it was a Canucks jersey.
I remember when Keith Magnuson leveled Carol Vadnais and I thought wow!! At thyat time, it didn’t matter all that much that he was a Canuck — until Brodeur. Now I relish every Blackhawk defeat of them. This year it didn’t happen and I will have to remember to tell myself that if not for Sharp hitting Luongo — not Luongo making the save, the Canucks would again be in their rightful spectating place — watching the Stanlay Cup playoffs.
I have friends in Nashville — GO PREDS!