“I suck at this.”

With Daniel Sedin’s failed penalty shot attempt Friday, the NHL scoring leader is now 0-for-4 in his career on penalty shots, and it’s never really been close. He’s bad at it. He’s so bad at it that Alain Vigneault used this most recent non-goal as an example of why Daniel never gets a chance in the shootout.

It’s a strange anomaly, really, especially considering that Daniel Sedin is a pretty fabulous scorer. Furthermore, he’s in possession of one of the NHL’s most accurate shots. You’d think he’d be money in these situations, but it would seem penalty shots and shootouts just aren’t particularly suited for his game.

Here are 20 possible explanations:

  • Every time he leaves a drop pass for Henrik, the referee stops play.
  • You’re not allowed to go back and start again if the shooting lane isn’t just right.
  • It’s way easier to score when you have to knock the puck out of mid-air while simultaneously getting crosschecked in the back by two guys.
  • It’s really bizarre not having your identical twin brother who plays on the same team as you on the ice with you at all times. Yep, that’s what’s bizarre.
  • In Sweden, instead of penalty shots, the shooter and the goaltender race to see who can build a cheap bookshelf the fastest.
  • Without being able to see the back of Henrik’s jersey, Daniel can’t tell which one he is, and forgets he’s the goal scorer.
  • With Alex Burrows seated on the bench instead of splayed across the crease, Daniel is always taken aback by the fact that the net has a goaltender.
  • The league won’t let him tape a poster of Henrik to the glass behind the goal as a reference point.
  • It’s hard to put much mustard on a one-timer from centre ice.
  • Right before he goes to shoot, Henrik pulls him aside and says, Last year, when I won the Hart, I scored on a penalty shot. Did you know that the H on the back of my jersey stands for Hart? Anyway, don’t blow it.
  • He’s never gotten a chance against Miikka Kiprusoff.
  • Every time he sets up shop behind the net, the referee stops play.
  • Typically, Daniel just mimics what Henrik does, but after thirty seconds of sitting at the bench giving his brother a puzzled look, the referee just declares it a save.
  • On penalty shots, you’re not allowed to jam the puck in on the rebound. If you’ve ever seen Daniel Sedin play hockey, this one’s not much of a mystery.
  • If Henrik doesn’t get his assist, it gets the hose.
  • He’s so used to looking for his brother and so disoriented from all the open area, he keeps accidentally passing to his reflection in the ice.
  • Once he gains the blue line, he stops and waits for Henrik. But Henrik never shows up. Daniel’s really worried about him, actually.
  • The Sedins’ creepy wizard powers are enhanced by their proximity to one another. With every stride away from the bench, Daniel becomes weaker.
  • Henrik says goals you score in a penalty shots don’t count towards your season totals.
  • He wanted the powerplay.
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1 Comment

  1. Tim
    April 17, 2011

    Very funny.

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