In honor of the Academy Awards coming up this Sunday, we here at Pass it to Bulis have taken it upon ourselves to award our own versions of the Academy Awards to our beloved Vancouver Canucks. Like the actual Academy Awards, it’s incredibly self-congratulatory, but that’s just fine. After all, the Canucks are first place in the NHL, Daniel is leading the NHL in points, and Pass it to Bulis gets more and more famous every day. So let’s take this opportunity to feel good about the team, pat each other on the back, and dress up like we’re going to a shindig on Persephone.

THE WINNERS

Writing (Original Screenplay): James Duthie and Roberto Luongo for “The Heart of a Poet: A Moment of Luongo
An easy win for the the superfriends for this incredibly entertaining TSN segment. “Rhinoceros hips” alone was a brilliant bit of writery. I’m going to give Luongo a co-writing credit on this one because I’m feeling charitable and assuming he made a few ad-libs in-between poems.
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Writing (Adapted Screenplay): Rollie Melanson for “The Butterfly Effect
Melanson has done a fantastic job adapting Luongo to a new style of goaltending that keeps him deeper in his net, more efficient in his movements, and more focused in the face (or buttocks) of adversity. This adaptation has taken time, as Luongo struggled early in the season, but he is now second in wins and in the top-5 in save percentage and goals against average. While the playoffs will be the true test of whether Melanson’s adaptation is as good as Charlie and Donald Kaufman’s “Adaptation.,” which was only nominated for Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay), Luongo is looking sharp and claiming to be better than ever.
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Visual Effects: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Sound Mixing:
Rick Bowness for “Ham-Juice”
With the multitude of injuries on the defensive end, Bowness has had to be especially creative with how he mixed his defensive pairings and has done a remarkable job. His pairing of Dan Hamhuis and Kevin Bieksa at the beginning of the season paid immediate dividends as a shutdown pairing, but I’ve been especially impressed with his mix-and-match patchwork defense in response to injuries. Rome and Tanev together sounds like a potential disaster, but they were the best pairing on the ice against Dallas on Saturday.
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Sound Editing: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Short Film (Live Action): Lee Sweatt for “Rudy
Sweatt bears a strong resemblance to Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, both in stature and facial features, a fact not lost on his Canuck teammates, who chanted “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy” prior to his first ever NHL game. And just like a Hollywood sports movie, Sweatt had an inspiring finish, scoring the gamewinning goal. Also, he’s short. Short film. It’s funny.
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Short Film (Animated): Jeff Tambellini for “Tamby’s Magic Shooty Spot
Like Sweatt, Tambellini is short. Unlike Sweatt, Tambellini has managed to stay in the lineup long-term. A big reason for this is Tamby’s magic shooty spot, that small patch of ice near the right faceoff dot that seems to impart magical accuracy to Tambellini’s stick. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been able to get to that patch of ice recently and has found himself demoted to the fourth line and is in danger of gorging on press-box popcorn with Cody Hodgson on his way back up from the Moose.
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Music (Original Song): The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Music (Original Score): Cody Hodgson for “Scoring a Goal
Hodgson’s first ever NHL goal, his original score in other words, was a beauty. Sure, it wasn’t a great shot, but it was effective. More impressive was his ability to fend off the barrage of stick-lifts and the patience he showed in getting to a prime scoring area. Other nominees in this category were Mario Bliznak, Alexandre Bolduc, Lee Sweatt, Aaron Volpatti, and Sergei Shirokov. Shirokov’s effort was the closest competitor for Hodgson, but Shirokov is clearly the black sheep boy of the Canucks’ prospects, whereas Hodgson carries the golden fleece.
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Makeup: Mike Gillis for “The Vancouver Canucks”
Gillis has convinced me that he knows what he’s doing, and one of the areas that has been getting a bit more attention lately is the psychological makeup of the team. His acquisition of Manny Malhotra has provided an instant leadership upgrade, the establishment of Henrik Sedin as Captain instilled a calm, business-like demeanor, and his demands on Ryan Kesler to mature as a person have made Kesler a better, more-focused hockey player. People have laughed at Gillis innovations like the Mind Room, but it’s hard to argue with the mindset of this Canucks team.
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Foreign Language Film: Alex Burrows for “Win Da Turd
During the pre-season, Burrows was still recovering from off-season shoulder surgery. In a burst of inspiration, he was asked to provide colour commentary for the Canucks and he was delightful. You could barely understand a word he said, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. At some point during one of those broadcasts, Burrows made the observation that the Canucks needed to “win da turd.” A few enterprising Canucks fans jumped on the phrase and began spreading “win da turd” across Twitter. It’s now a staple of the Twitter-verse during Canucks games and a worthy winner of this award.
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Film Editing: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Documentary Short Subject: Lee Sweatt for “Seriously Guys, He’s Short”

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Documentary Feature: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Directing: Alain Vigneault for “V for Vigneault”
Mike Gillis made the decision to keep Vigneault when he became the GM of the Canucks and it appears to have been an excellent decision. There are some who would argue that Vigneault’s job should be easy given the conglomeration of talent on the Canucks’ roster. Those people are silly. It’s not an easy task keeping such a strong ensemble cast focused and ready day-by-day, game-by-game, but Vigneault has been up to it. He even has some prominent mysterious third contributors to popular Canucks’ blogs arguing that he should be considered for the Jack Adams award this year. He just might deserve it.
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Costume Design: Fin for “Green Man

It doesn’t get much better than that.
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Cinematography: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”
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Art Direction: The Sedins for “Wizardous Sedinerie”

In case you haven’t noticed, the Sedins clean up in all the technical categories.

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Animated Feature Film: Jannik Hansen for “Beaker: Based on a True Story”
Hansen is my favorite forechecker, but his talents aren’t limited to his dogged determination on the ice. His voice work for the animated biopic of Beaker from The Muppets is sublime. You can tell he put his heart and soul into the role.
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Actor in a Supporting Role: Manny Malhotra for “The Enabler
Malhotra is the ultimate supporter, gaining few accolades for himself but constantly improving the performances of those around him. I have to be careful about singing his praises too much, as I might make him ineligible for the one award that he might actually win this year: the Fred J. Hume award as the unsung hero of the Canucks.
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Actor in a Leading Role: Ryan Kesler for “Forget the Selke, I’m Going for the Hart”
Kesler is very clearly the leading man of the Canucks. Sure, the Sedins are having brilliant seasons, with Daniel having jumped to the lead for the Art Ross trophy, but they’re just not sexy. Meanwhile, Kesler is appearing on the cover of video games, posing for pictures in his underwear, being named one of BC’s most beautiful people, and scoring goals by the bucket-load. While he’s been a two-time Selke runner-up, Kesler is now being discussed for the Hart trophy as his offensive production has begun to outshine his defensive contributions. Ryan Kesler is clearly in the leading role for the Canucks, while the Sedins get to win all the technical awards that are incredibly important but no one really cares about.
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Best Picture: Tanner Glass for “Glass Half-Full (Of Bears)

I just saw Black Swan last night. This picture is almost as good.
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12 comments

  1. Harrison Mooney
    February 22, 2011

    Someone told me that my proportion is all off, that Glass would be way smaller in comparison to the polar bears. To them, I say, those are baby bears. Glass is punching baby bears.

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  2. Anonymous
    February 22, 2011

    Love the Firefly reference :) .

    Yay for Canuck fans who double as Browncoats!

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  3. Ablefish
    February 22, 2011

    Lol, I will second that emotion. Gillis' mindroom just needs a comfy chair, a tv, and the Firefly series on DVD. Happy times.

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  4. Anonymous
    February 22, 2011

    I'm sure the WinDaTurd hashtag started last season, no? During an intermission interview?

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  5. Anonymous
    February 22, 2011

    'Animated Feature Film: Jannik Hansen for "Beaker: Based on a True Story'
    -Good stuff! Meep Meep!

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  6. Anonymous
    February 22, 2011

    da bears

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  7. beninvictoria
    February 22, 2011

    Nothing about Ballard being indestructible?

    This was two weeks ago……
    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/canucks-lose-ballard-to-leg-injury/article1898258/

    and he's not dead? He must be God.

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  8. beninvictoria
    February 22, 2011

    obviously i do not know how to post links….

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  9. Daniel "Skeeter" Wagner
    February 22, 2011

    @Anonymous1:05PM We've tried to trace #WinDaTurd back to its origins and have had no luck. Everyone we talk to, though, thinks it originated in the pre-season. This is the first I've heard that it started last season. Further investigative work is needed!

    @beninvictoria I'm as shocked as you are that Ballard is back so soon from his injury. But that doesn't fit neatly into an Oscar category. C'est la ville. That is city.

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  10. Anonymous
    February 22, 2011

    I love the Okkervil River reference. That is such a good album.

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  11. Harrison Mooney
    February 22, 2011

    @Anonymous I love it too. It was my favourite album that year.

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  12. Ange
    February 25, 2011

    Re: #windaturd, I can honestly and truthfully say it's from an intermission interview last season. It became a legitimate (and trending) twitter hashtag before the game was over.

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