The Wellwoods are a women’s street hockey team from Vancouver. More than that, they are a women’s street hockey team named for Kyle Wellwood. My first inclination is to question why anyone would do such a thing. Is it because all the women in this photo are adorable? Is it because this team is the weakest in the league? Is it because the team doesn’t have what it takes to make it in Russia? Maybe it’s all of these things.

Also, according to an anonymous commenter who plays for this team, Rule #42 of the Wellwoods charter is as follows: Training = Cheating. That explains it.

Edit: According to a member of the team, the Wellwoods will be competing in the National Street Hockey Championships during CBC’s Hockey Day in Canada. And we will be cheering for them.

Edit 2: According to another Wellwood, “Our team philosophy was built upon the Three Pillars of Kyle Wellwood: Soft hands, sharp minds, and overall adoreableness.

Our ultimate goal in 2011 is to achieve the impossible: a team photo with the legend himself!! We have no idea how to go about it but having him back in North America is a start. The next step will obviously be to recruit him as our head coach, but we’ll settle for a photo for now.

The very idea of The Three Pillars of Kyle Wellwood makes me smile like a schnook.

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15 comments

  1. Jason
    January 11, 2011

    I sincerely hope that their goalie uses this helmet: http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/the-most-adorable-hockey-helmet

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  2. ryan
    January 11, 2011

    best blog article i've seen today.

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  3. a Wellwood
    January 11, 2011

    Actually, we're the Vancouver Wellwoods (not Burbaby), but we have players from as far away as Kamloops, Toronto and Norway! I'm the goalie and I'm sad to say that my helmet is a far cry from adorable: http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic.php?u=7793IAM6B&i=618613.

    Look for us at the national street hockey championships on CBC's Hockey Day in Canada!

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  4. Another Wellwood
    January 11, 2011

    Our team philosophy was built upon the Three Pillars of Kyle Wellwood: Soft hands, sharp minds, and overall adoreableness.

    Our ultimate goal in 2011 is to achieve the impossible: a team photo with the legend himself!! We have no idea how to go about it but having him back in North America is a start. The next step will obviously be to recruit him as our head coach, but we'll settle for a photo for now.

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  5. a
    January 11, 2011

    I approve so, so whole-heartedly. Yes, Lady Wellwoods, yes. You have been added to my list of favourite hockey teams, starting: now.

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  6. Irene Tanga
    January 11, 2011

    Hey, if you guys ever need an extra player, let me know. I'll move to Vancouver.

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  7. B.O'B.
    January 11, 2011

    The inverted Arches logo is awesomely meta-adorable!

    Go Wellwoods Go!!!!

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  8. J21
    January 12, 2011

    Does everyone wear number 42? That would be pretty cool, in addition to giving the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy crowd (of which I'm not a member, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that the Pass it to Bulis guys are) a real thrill.

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  9. Harrison Mooney
    January 12, 2011

    Daniel is a huge Douglas Adams fan. He made a veiled reference to HHG2TG in a recent IWTG, but he's such an elitist he didn't provide a link and the reference was missed by nearly everyone.

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  10. a Wellwood
    January 12, 2011

    @ B.O'B. – Thanks! You will notice that we also replaced the maple leaf in the arches with a tiny heart, for maximum adorability :)

    @ J21 – the backs of our shirts have our team motto on them ("Rule #42: Training = Cheating"). We were thinking of doing hammer & sickle shoulder patches this year, but that's probably going to be scrapped now that he's back in the NHL. Wellwood's a bright guy, and I'm convinced that he picked the number 42 in honour of HHG2TG!

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  11. J21
    January 12, 2011

    Hammer and sickle for the KHL, hunh? Unless you're Aeroflot, I'm pretty sure that falls under here:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheGreatPoliticsMessUp

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  12. a Wellwood
    January 12, 2011

    It would have been thoroughly tongue-in-cheek, I assure you! Partially a commentary on the curious glut of Soviet-themed street hockey teams. There are a lot of them.

    CBC Nationals are just a month away! Maybe I'll come back and post our picture with the Redwood Cup after we win it!

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  13. Harrison Mooney
    January 12, 2011

    Wellwood player, we would gladly accept any and all information you send our way. Flip us an e-mail at passittobulis@gmail.com and we'll keep everyone posted on your progress, especially now that we've adopted you as our team.

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  14. Captain Wellwood
    January 12, 2011

    Sweet, I'll email you some updates over the Hockey Day weekend! And in case any of your readers live on the Island and want to see us live in action, I'll send you our Nationals schedule when it's posted.

    Keep up the great work!

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  15. Captain Wellwood
    January 13, 2011

    ps: in case you or any of your followers ever want to reach us… vancouver.wellwoods@gmail.com

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