Don’t ask me how, but Shane O’Brien’s antics last night (were they antics) seemed to overshadow the fact that the LA Kings were completely embarrassed in a crucial game five. SOB’s behaviour has been something of a subplot over the last month and change, but, in the last two games, it has become a much larger story. Why? The Canucks’ blueline, seemingly a bastion of depth going into the season, is suddenly looking one injury away from becoming a glaring weakness. Certainly, if Andrew Alberts could play like he played last night, we’d be less concerned, but A-Minor only drew into the lineup because of one-and-done injuries to Aaron Rome and Nolan Baumgartner. Shane O’Brien is the last guy we want to see out of the game for any amount of time because it means that Alberts’ minutes increase and we have to play Lawrence Nycholat. O’Brien needs to preserve himself.
Craig Simpson pointed this out during the broadcast. He really shouldn’t be fighting, especially after we saw Jannik Hansen break his hand early on in the season, during a tilt. He needs to resist the urge to pound Simmonds’ head in.
But he did fight. Worse yet, after a draw that ended in a takedown, he flashed the double guns like the Black-Eyed Peas had just infected the playlist at the Roxy. Terry Murray called him a clown. AV seemed amused but annoyed, as is often his emotion. And what of the fans? Why, they loved it. And over at Canucks.com, the message boards lit up with suggestions for new nicknames for SOB. Let us examine whether any of them is worth its salt.
Shane “Double Guns” O’Brien
suggested by: rkoshack
Not sure if it’s the most creative, but it does describe that time he flashed the double guns.
Shane “The Pain” O’Brien
suggested by: OrcaKlanChief
Not bad. It rhymes, which is a plus. On the flipside, in a draw, and for a guy who rarely fights these days, I’m not sure it’s entirely deserve. I should mention I’m also giving OrcaKlanChief the benefit of the doubt, as his suggestion was actually “SHANE THE PAIN OBREIN”.
Shane “Pain Lion” O’Brien
suggested by: Godzilla Deuce
I am going to guess that a “pain lion” is a lion that is known to inflict pain. If such a thing existed, perhaps this nickname would make a little more sense. As it is, I, uh, don’t know what to say. It’s a bad suggestion, yet I feel strangely compelled to take it for myself.
suggested by: rkoshack
In his second go-around, rkoshack goes for the Happy Gilmore reference, but it doesn’t really work.
suggested by: Cogburn
What I like about this one is the simplicity. Bandit is basically always a good idea for a name. Badies, new products, pets, getaway vehicles, terms of endearment… Bandit is like the one-size-fits-all of nicknames. It loses points for not being a play on SOB’s name. What about, say, BanditO? Any takers?
Shane “Akimbo” O’Brien
suggested by: TheAgent
First answer: I don’t get it. Follow-up answer: now I get it. The Akimbo is an attachment in Call of Duty 2 that allows players to wield two of the same weapon at once. Not bad. I wonder about its crossover ability, as only CoD gamers are going to get it, but it’s definitely the smartest suggestion so far.
Pew Pew O’Facepunch
suggested by: Kolian
Nope. This one. This one’s my favorite.
Shane “The Panther” O’Brien
suggested by: The Kernel
Kind of sounds like a nickname a date rapist would give himself. No dice.
suggested by: The Kernel
From Die Hard? To my mind, any nickname has to retain at least the O in his surname. And if we’re going with Irish action starts, McBain is a much better choice. Shane McBain: double guns don’t kill people. I do.
The Organ Grinder
suggested by: daxt234
Along with a link to this photo. Not sure if he really earned such a wicked nickname. Um, we’ll get back to you on this one. But, um, in the meantime, I’m gonna borrow both the nickname and the photo.
suggested by: Jester13
Jester13 added, “I mean seriously, am I the only one making the son of a you know what connection?” Is this guy new here?
Shane O Mac
suggested by: sandlakthehouse
It’s kind of already taken by the son of Vince McMahon, but I think that was the point. I don’t know if I want SOB associated with this much douchery. Besides, if I associate him with any wrestler, it has to be Danno O’Mahony, inventor of the Irish Whip.
Shane “Hate Crime” O’Brien
suggested by: Horny Manatee
Normally, I’d say, “Not cool, Horny Manatee.” But his profile picture is of Franklin Delano Bluth, so I think he finds politically incorrect racial humour irresistible. Perhaps, but let’s leave it to Mitchell Hurwitz, then. Sidenote: speaking of Arrested Development references as they pertain to the Canucks, Skeeter’s wife calls Michael Grabner “Baby BananaGrabner.”
Shane “The Rampage” O’Brien
suggested by: Canuckz -_-
Let’s stop for a second. We’re all aware SOB didn’t win his fight, right? It was a draw. It seems that flashing the double guns clouds everybody’s perspective. Next time I get the crap kicked out of me, I’m going to flash the double guns as they load me into the ambulance. Then, everyone will be like, “Harrison won that fight! Let’s call him ‘The Rampage’!”