Sundin twins, Dan ‘Hamoose’ star in unfortunate ESPN highlight package [VIDEO]

Everybody’s talking about the Canucks and Flames after their spirited Game 2, which ended with the two clubs embroiled in yet another line brawl. Of course, some are talking about it better than others.

Others, in this case, is ESPN, whose highlight package for Vancouver’s 4-1 win won’t do much to dispel the notion that the network wouldn’t know a hockey game if one broke out at a fight. It’s full of mispronunciations and, in some cases, just completely different names. Roland Kenins? Dan Hamoose? The Sundin twins? You should probably watch this.

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Calgary Zoo gorilla loves his new Canucks jersey [VIDEO]

We have a new favourite gorilla here at Pass it to Bulis. Until today, it was Mighty Joe Young, obviously. But that was before we saw this adorable video from the Calgary Zoo in which a Canucks jersey stuffed with straw is placed in the gorilla habitat.

“What you see behind you looks like the torso of a Canucks fan,” we’re told. “We’re gonna see what our gorilla troop thinks of that. Stay tuned.”

Presumably, the goal here is to get footage of a gorilla destroying a Canucks sweater — maybe even throwing some poop at it or something. But it turns out chimps think the Flames are for chumps. Rather than seeing some gorillas symbolically tear a Canucks fan limb from limb, we get a video in which one of the local gorillas goes rogue, and publicly declares his love for the Canucks by draping himself in the blue and green.

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Kevin Bieksa threw a Flames glove over the glass after Game 2 fracas (or maybe not)

Kevin Bieksa has a bit of a history when it comes to mistreating equipment. Back in 2012, he tried to intervene in a tussle between Cal Clutterbuck and Dan Hamhuis by chucking his glove at Clutterbuck, earning him a penalty and sending him deep into our gif tournament during the lockout.

Last season, he took out his frustrations after a loss to the New York Rangers on Brian Boyle, then yanked Boyle’s helmet off his head and punted it down the ice.

Bieksa likely wished he was on the ice when Game 2 devolved into a line brawl, but instead Sbisa and Hamhuis were the makeshift defensive pair, as Yannick Weber had previously received a 10-minute misconduct (wait, what?). Bieksa was left cleaning up the mess afterward, helping clear the ice of discarded equipment. That’s when he decided to take out his frustration at not being able to drop the gloves with anyone by dropping someone else’s glove over the glass.

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The Paper Feature: The Canucks were never going to sweep

Any Canucks fan dreaming of a sweep over the Flames was bitterly disappointed by the third period of game 1. I mean, every Canucks fan must have been bitterly disappointed watching the Flames score two third period goals, including the winner in the final minute, to steal home ice advantage, but especially those dreaming of a sweep.

It was understandable why some would hope for a sweep. If the Canucks could take care of the Flames quickly while the Jets and Ducks beat each other up in the other Pacific Division matchup, the Canucks could have a worn-out opponent in the second round. Some might have looked at the Flames youth and inexperience and expected the pressure of the playoffs to overwhelm them.

Or perhaps you bought into the rise of advanced statistics this past season, found out that the Flames were one of the worst puck possession teams at 5-on-5 this season, and thought the Flames’ luck would run out just in time to get the brooms out.

But the Canucks were never going to sweep the Flames in the first round and it has a lot less to do with the Flames than it does the Canucks.

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I Watched This Game: Canucks 4, Flames 1

Everyone had an opinion on why the Canucks lost Game 1 of their first-round series with the Calgary Flames. Not enough Sedinery; too much Pizza-Juice; Nick Bonino was terrible. But if you ask me, the big issue was simpler than that: after scoring the opening goal, the Canucks stopped scoring. That’s not gonna cut it — not when the Flames turn into werewolves in the light of the third period moon.

But this time, the Canucks scored, and then they scored again. And then again. By the time the third period rolled around, they were too far in front for Calgary’s comeback to have any impact. So naturally, the Flames went nuts instead, offering up pretty convincing rebuttal to anyone who would suggest they’re the most disciplined team in the league. I had my doubts when I watched this game.

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Kris Russell crosschecks Nick Bonino in head; will anyone care?

The Canucks got off to a great start in game 2 against the Flames, out-shooting them 13-3 in the first period and, more importantly, out-scoring them 2-0. It was about as dominant a period as the Canucks played all season and a wave of positivity swept through Canucks fandom.

Then that wave crashed on the rocks of a pretty dumb play by Kris Russell and a little negativity snuck back in.

Right as Chris Higgins scored the Canucks second goal, Russell came down with his stick on the back of Nick Bonino’s head at the side of the net. It bore a strong similarity to a play by Dustin Byfuglien near the end of the regular season that earned the Jets’ defenceman a 4-game suspension. Will Russell get a similar suspension? Will he get any suspension at all?

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Hoodwinked Films just dropped the illest Canucks playoff anthem around [VIDEO]

We’re not wrong often here at Pass it to Bulis, but sometimes it happens, and when it does, we believe in bringing our mistakes right to you, the readers. Here is one such mistake: on Wednesday, after releasing “Sedinery”, an ode to the Sedins that borrows its melody (and single cover art) from Blackstreet classic “No Diggity”, we were convinced that PITB was the source of not just the number one Canucks’ playoff anthem, but also the number one Canuck-themed club banger.

We were wrong. On Friday, the gentlemen at Hoodwinked Films dropped a video of their own, and folks, this thing is where it’s at. It’s an earworm, but it’s also a tapeworm, because you’re gonna feel it in your backside — this is rump-shaking music. But it’s also raw hip hop artistry. It’s like if, instead of spending the last seven minutes of To Pimp a Butterfly just talking, Kendrick Lamar and the ghost of Tupac had given us the hip hop collab we really wanted, nay, needed.

Have I oversold it? You decide.

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Conspiracy Watch: Does the Canucks’ front office hate the Sedins?

For much of the regular season, the Vancouver Canucks have been credited with a balanced forward corps, thanks to additions like Bo Horvat, Derek Dorsett, and Radim Vrbata. This new dynamic lifted the team back into the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and has been a welcome change of pace after John Tortorella tried to play the Sedins to death during 2014. However, there has been a hidden thread connecting the moves made by the new regime: they’re all the part of Jim Benning and Trevor Linden’s master plan.

Ever since Benning and Linden took over the Vancouver Canucks, they have done everything they can to “make their mark” on the organization by committing significant money to free agents and acquiring the players their coach wanted. Ryan Miller, an expensive free agency signing, has been in the sights of Benning for quite some time. Similarly, “good human” Derek Dorsett was an interesting acquisition considering the cost, but as one of Willie Desjardins’ former Medicine Hat players, the acquisition began to make some sense. Then there were the contracts extensions to Dorsett and Luca Sbisa, which seemed blind to the play of both men during their first year in Vancouver.

Fast forward to today, and we now know that the Canucks aren’t just overpaying for Sbisa and Dorsett, they’re overplaying them too. Instead of deploying Henrik and Daniel Sedin with consistency during Game One against the Calgary Flames, Willie Desjardins opted to play a “balanced” lineup, rolling all four lines almost equally. This, of course, was a large part of the team’s downfall. Henrik and Daniel Sedin are generational players, and while they may be prone to overuse like anyone else, they need to be given the chance to take over a playoff game.

Instead, the Sedins both played less than five minutes each during Wednesday’s third period. Why? Because they were here when Benning and Linen arrived.

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Three things the Canucks can do better in Game 2

Game 2 between the Vancouver Canucks and Calgary Flames goes Friday, and it’s clear the Canucks need to make a few changes if they don’t want this series to get away from them.

For one thing, they need to win more. On Wednesday, they didn’t win at all, and if I may say, that’s not enough winning. But it’s not quite that simple. In order to win more, they’ll need to do the following:

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Stick in Link: Canucks have lost one-straight, will keep rolling four lines

It’s time for “Stick in Link”, the feature where we just plug in a bunch of stuff written by others! Featuring a smattering of links from around the Smylosphere and beyond three times a week. Warning: our links are so hyper, they change colour when exposed to heat. (Have something for us to share in the next edition? E-mail us at passittobulis@gmail.com, tweet us @passittobulis, or just come over and write your link on a pad of paper, I guess.)

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